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  • Resistance is futile



    Christopher Borrelli
    10:17 a.m. CDT, March 12, 2014

    NEW YORK

    A year ago, the hottest slob food in Manhattan was the cronut. Perhaps you heard about it: Created (and copyrighted) by SoHo's Dominique Ansel Bakery, the cronut, an unholy and addictive union of croissant and doughnut, proved so popular to trendy New Yorkers that waits for the innovative pastry stretched past three hours. A small black market on Craigslist even sprang up to deliver fresh cronuts at inflated scalper prices. A year later, however, fickle New York has moved on, and the cronut, while still somewhat popular (though replicated now at bakeries nationwide), is facing an unlikely slice of competition: Chicago deep dish.

    Yes, the pizza that many New Yorkers love to claim is not pizza has become one of the most sought-after dishes in lower Manhattan. Actually, only two blocks from Dominique is the heartbeat of the frenzy: a small, tin-roofed, tavernlike storefront named Emmett's, opened in late November by Lake Forest native Emmett Burke, who, at 31, decided to leave behind his stressful life of high finance and introduce New York to the pride of Chicago. Smart wager: Emmett's is so hot right now that, on a Sunday night I put my name in for a table at 5:30 p.m., sat down about 8:30 p.m. and received my handsome (if undistinguished) pizza at 9:30 p.m.

    Emmett's is so popular that, even in the dead of this winter, an eager crowd can often be found milling around outside, curious to learn about this strange, magical species of pizza that takes 50 minutes to bake.

    CHRISTOPHER BORRELLI


    Today, though Emmett's pizza would be generic in Chicago (the crust is stiff, the sauce just OK), the demand is high: Weekend waits have hit four hours; the night that I visited, Emmett was fielding calls every few minutes, patiently explaining they could take no more orders that night.

    He began saying this at 7 p.m.

    Frankly, he looked overwhelmed by New York's curiosity, struggling to explain to some customers that deep-dish pizza takes longer to bake than normal pizza, surrounded by others who stared google-eyed at his creations, snapping pictures of the pizzas with their phones, even taking selfies with their giant pizzas.

    Coincidentally, Emmett's opened the same week that Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show" launched into an infamous rant against deep dish, calling it "tomato soup in a bread bowl!"

    Emmett said Stewart has not been in yet: "But weirdly, I met him. I saw him coming out of a pizzeria on Bleecker Street with Bruce Springsteen. So I went up and handed him my cell phone and said, 'Hey, Jon, can you take a picture of me with Bruce?'"

    (He did.)

    So screw Jon Stewart. You can't resist.
    My favorite line was

    Today, though Emmett's pizza would be generic in Chicago (the crust is stiff, the sauce just OK), the demand is high:
    Imagine if you guys could get the real good stuff.

    It's only a matter of time.
    It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

  • #2
    why would anyone ruin a perfectly good donut by fusing it with a croissant

    new york is a freakish hellscape of wrong
    To us, it is the BEAST.

    Comment


    • #3
      World turned upside down.
      Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

      Comment


      • #4
        They are all going there so they can instagram pictures of themselves eating notpizza?
        Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
        Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
        We've got both kinds

        Comment


        • #5
          ****ing tourists.
          “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
          - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by MikeH View Post
            They are all going there so they can instagram pictures of themselves eating notpizza?
            The article kind of indicates that that's a big part of it. It's kind of like going to see the elephant man.

            (Wait a few more months and it'll go like the cronut)
            Last edited by Imran Siddiqui; March 13, 2014, 10:09.
            “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
            - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

            Comment


            • #7
              If that's the case, then I doubt it's tourists.
              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

              Comment


              • #8
                is Putin invading New York too? Because this sounds like something that would happen in soviet Russia.
                I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
                [Brandon Roderick? You mean Brock's Toadie?][Hanged from Yggdrasil]

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by self biased View Post
                  soviet Russia.
                  I also think the cronut is a commie plot
                  To us, it is the BEAST.

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                  • #10
                    Yes, it sounds like something made up so people could be overcharged for it. A trend in NY.
                    It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      new york is a toilet
                      To us, it is the BEAST.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Transmissions have been detected originating from Chicago:
                        )
                        I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                        For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Chicago: YEAH I GOT YOUR RESISTANCE RIGHT HERE
                          /crotchgrab
                          To us, it is the BEAST.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Sava View Post
                            Chicago: YEAH I GOT YOUR RESISTANCE RIGHT HERE
                            /crotchgrab
                            Resistance is apparently flaccid.
                            I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                            For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              you prefer 'em hard?
                              To us, it is the BEAST.

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