Register or Log In to remove the ads!

  1. #1
    Barnabas's Avatar
    Join Date
    04 Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,516
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    18:09

    What to do if your dog masturbates?

    So, I am thinking of buying a dog. I have had 2 dogs before, both *****es (I mean female, not bad attitude), and I had not problem with them, but my father, whom I visited once a week when I was a kid, had a male doberman, and the dog had the gross habit of masturbating with his mouth lying on the carpet below the living room table.

    I guess for most people that is not an issue, but I am thinking of only getting a female because I find the sight of a dog masturbating too gross. If any of you had a male dog, what did you do in those cases? tell him, "No! bad boy", hit him with the newspaper, tell him to move to another place so that it gets used to do that thing where he can't be seen?
    I need a foot massage

  2. #2

    Join Date
    16 Apr 2002
    Posts
    4,856
    Thanks
    445
    Thanked 133 Times in 100 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    19:09
    of course... "a dog"...

    Cold watter usually helps I guess.
    "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

  3. #3
    molly bloom's Avatar
    Join Date
    22 Oct 2001
    Location
    Lundenwic
    Posts
    10,488
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 88 Times in 77 Posts
    Local Date
    June 27, 2016
    Local Time
    03:09
    Buy it some suitable fantasy material- Pet Shop World, Best *****es, Poodles On Parade, and direct it to the appropriate area for relief- the neighbour's garden, preferably during a barbecue or visit from the local vicar, priest or neighbour's parents.
    Vive la liberte. Noor Inayat Khan, Dachau.

    ...patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone. Edith Cavell, 1915

  4. #4
    Ming's Avatar
    Join Date
    31 Dec 1969
    Location
    Mingapulco - CST
    Posts
    33,190
    Thanks
    114
    Thanked 133 Times in 90 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    What to do if your dog masturbates?
    Not a hell of a lot... it's what male dogs do...
    However, Molly...
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.

    Keep on Civin'
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

  5. #5
    The Mad Monk's Avatar
    Join Date
    22 Mar 2000
    Location
    COMPUTERS! COMPUTERS! YAAAAY! YAAAAY!
    Posts
    13,751
    Thanks
    383
    Thanked 340 Times in 282 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    Post it on youtube.
    Yes, I did steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

  6. #6
    Imran Siddiqui's Avatar
    Join Date
    31 Dec 1969
    Location
    on the corner of Peachtree and Peachtree
    Posts
    39,288
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked 297 Times in 234 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    Dang! Mad Monk beat me to it
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

  7. #7
    giblets's Avatar
    Join Date
    18 Feb 2010
    Location
    Nazi Antarctic Base
    Posts
    16,734
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked 319 Times in 262 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    Get your dog neutered, that will probably cut down on it.
    "South Africa is a shithole. It used to be a decent place." -Ben Kenobi, sharing his wisdom on world history
    Don't respond to Ben. If you ignore him he'll post less!

  8. #8
    Elok's Avatar
    Join Date
    08 Mar 2003
    Location
    Back in the U.S.A.
    Posts
    15,127
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked 470 Times in 314 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    Not really. My mother has a neutered male great dane who loves slorping on his hose. It's the sound that's really bothersome, especially when he decides to lie down and have a chew while all the humans eat dinner. SNORF SNORF SLURP SNORF PANT PANT PANT SNOOOORF SLURP SLURP PANT GURGLE PANT SNORF...

  9. #9
    Fake Boris's Avatar
    Join Date
    02 Aug 2001
    Posts
    5,490
    Thanks
    107
    Thanked 30 Times in 23 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    13:09
    Female dogs masturbate too...
    In Soviet Russia, Fake borises YOU.

  10. #10
    Asher's Avatar
    Join Date
    19 Nov 1999
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta
    Posts
    53,875
    Thanks
    105
    Thanked 99 Times in 71 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    11:09
    Get a cat.

  11. #11
    Hauldren Collider's Avatar
    Join Date
    20 Feb 2010
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    17,621
    Thanks
    260
    Thanked 218 Times in 182 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    Cats are not as cool as dogs.
    If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
    :(){ :|:& };:

  12. #12
    Asher's Avatar
    Join Date
    19 Nov 1999
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta
    Posts
    53,875
    Thanks
    105
    Thanked 99 Times in 71 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    11:09
    Not true. The phrase is "cool cat" for a reason.

  13. #13
    MikeH's Avatar
    Join Date
    10 May 1999
    Location
    Jesus on a Velociraptor
    Posts
    13,265
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 102 Times in 70 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    17:09
    and hot dog.

    Proven.
    Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
    Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
    We've got both kinds

  14. #14
    SlowwHand's Avatar
    Join Date
    28 Sep 1999
    Location
    Republic of Texas
    Posts
    38,768
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked 208 Times in 174 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    12:09
    I've never heard of this before. ACS rocks so much.
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

  15. #15
    rah's Avatar
    Join Date
    01 Nov 1999
    Location
    Same old place
    Posts
    31,729
    Thanks
    173
    Thanked 414 Times in 293 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    11:09
    Just be thankful that teenage boys can't quite reach it with their tongues.
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

  16. #16
    Asher's Avatar
    Join Date
    19 Nov 1999
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta
    Posts
    53,875
    Thanks
    105
    Thanked 99 Times in 71 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    11:09
    Some can.

  17. #17
    rah's Avatar
    Join Date
    01 Nov 1999
    Location
    Same old place
    Posts
    31,729
    Thanks
    173
    Thanked 414 Times in 293 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    11:09
    Fortunately they have stayed in their rooms since discovering that skill and I haven't had to deal with them.
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

  18. #18

    Join Date
    16 Apr 2002
    Posts
    4,856
    Thanks
    445
    Thanked 133 Times in 100 Posts
    Local Date
    June 26, 2016
    Local Time
    19:09
    Didn't you have a daughter ?
    "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

  19. #19
    molly bloom's Avatar
    Join Date
    22 Oct 2001
    Location
    Lundenwic
    Posts
    10,488
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 88 Times in 77 Posts
    Local Date
    June 27, 2016
    Local Time
    03:09
    Quote Originally Posted by rah View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Just be thankful that teenage boys can't quite reach it with their tongues.
    Some of us were more limber than others, obviously. It was much more fun reaching someone else's, however.
    Vive la liberte. Noor Inayat Khan, Dachau.

    ...patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone. Edith Cavell, 1915

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in