Domination of Barbarians [Diplo Game] [Story Thread 1 - April 2012]

[Netherlands (DoB)]

The Purple People Eaters

As Trotseer's party of Warriors explore farther into the unknow lands, reports keep coming in of new peoples and creatures they discover. Last report came in that Trotseer was being stalke by ferocious pack of wolf. The children of Nation of Fire, Nation of Water love to hear the tales, and they make stories about the brave explorer party of Trotseer the Brave.


One popular tale is of the land of the ones who live on the other side of the Mountains, south of the Dark Woods. The children fear them they rumors to be Giants. Big purple giants. The Netherwomen and Dutchwomen sing song to their babies when they go to sleep about the Giants



"Well I saw the purple thing by the mountainside
It had the one long horn, and one big eye
I was shaking in my pants and I said "ooh-eee"
It looks like a purple people eater to me

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me, One eye?

Well he came down to earth and he sat in a tree
I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me
I heard him say in a voice so rough
I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough"

[Netherlands (DoB)]

More delightful tunes of children in Nation of Fire, Nation of Water

Two new songs that the childs of Nation of Fire, Nation of Water sing are the "Piggyswine song" and the "Norse-rhyme"

The story says that "Piggyswine" song started when a Dutch boy comes home from visiting his French relatives and is singing a song he hears the French childs singing there in some strange language they call "Spinach" like the leaves you eat. All the Spinach speaking children we hear pretend to be little boars or "pigs" looking French boys and as and sing a song making fun of French boys who look like pigs. But the French boys are too ignorant too realize it and they sing the same song in the Spinach language, not knowing it is making fun of them.

All the Nether and Dutch parents laugh like hysterical when they hear their children singing the song in the Spinach language.

The translation of the song is:
"I'm a little Piggy! Here's my snout! (childs push back his nose to look like a Frenchman pig-nose)
Oink Oink Oink! Oink Oink Oink!"

The "Norse-rhyme" is a poem the Dutch children start saying to honor the hardy neighbors to the north of Nation of Fire, Nation of Water. The poem is about the brave Norseman and his war against the dreaded mythic giants of the north. Children here run around pretending to be Norsemen who fight brave against the mighty giant



The Poem goes:

La-la-Laaa-la
La-la-Laaa-la
We come from the land of the ice and snow
Of the midnight sun
Where the harsh winds blow
The will of God Odin
Will send our ships to new lands,
To fight the Giants,
Singing and crying,
Valhalla, I am coming!

[France (DoB)]

Gabriel and the Djinn Desert Warriors

It is said that the Djinn desert warriors live in a great plain of sand. These fierce warriors flew above the sands in great clouds of dust fearing to ever touch the ground due to the ferocious bears that will eat them if they did.

From high in the air, the Djinn warriors watched as brave Gabriel and the Great Valley Seekers battled the ferocious bears. The clever Gabriel had his men dig pits over which they had placed branches with grapes picked from the goblin fields. As the hungry bears charged Gabriel and his men. they were lured into the pit traps by the smell of the grapes. Trapped in the pits, the bears were slain by the Great Valley Seekers using rocks. Gabriel's plan was so clever that not even a single French warrior died in the battle of the bears.

The Djinn desert warriors were so happy to finally be able to return to the ground that they came to personally thank Gabriel. Gabriel in the finest tradition of French hospitality invited the Djinn to a grand feast of bear meat at the Oasis de Pieds Ours.

It is said that is how the great tribes of France and the Djinn met.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

Ocean Mother's Bounty



The people of Nation of Fire Nation of Water cheer as brand new Fishing vessel named "Ocean Mother's Bounty" joins the group of smaller fishing rafts and canoes. This new ship can make fisheries and sail lthe waves. All new ship in Nation of Fire, Nation of water based on this new model.

[Japan (DoB)]

The most Noble and Honorable Tokugawa, ruler of Japan, has given a token of affection to his hard-working fishermen. So great a rule has he, that the future seems certain to glorify his name for generations to come. Under his caring yet firm hand, the most inventive minds in the village have bent their will and the trees around us to establish the best way to build fishing boats. Our thoughts go to the seven souls who bravely tested the less efficient boats, built on the principle of wheels instead of oars. A principle for using the wheel for propulsion has been inscribed on stone and stored in the archives for future reference. Alas, the notion of seven men with the strength of seven hundred to drive such a vessel is for now only a tale for children and old wives.

The great sea holds many mysteries, but those who travel more than three days away have never been heard from. Our younger soldiers are eager to explore the lands beyond our native hills, to find more land to live in, and slay evil beasts and men. Tokugawa has in his wisdom granted leave for a company of scouts to explore the lands around us. Bidding them to come back with news of what the world holds, for our glorious leader to best guide us to our rightful place in the world.


-Jiraya, personal secretary to the Noble and Honorable Tokugawa, leader of the Japanese people, Year of the Condescending Crab.

[Vikings (DoB)]

The Nether people in the south had met Ragnars band of explorers friendly, and the Norse people look forward to years of peace and cooperation. Ragnars scouts spotted other folks in the south across the sea, grey people, whom the Nether people call Germ-Manes, and white people, who are called Mer-men. All of them seem to be peaceful, that's one trouble less on Ragnars shoulders.

All could be well, if there weren't the ill prophecies of the völur, the seeresses, wise women, who see the future just as well as Ragnar sees green trees or the blue sea.

Their prophecies are dreadful indeed. They foresee hordes of mythical giants, so called jötnar or thursar, attacking our fair lands from the direction of the midnight sun. They will kill who ever opposes them with a weapon in his hands, they will burn the harvest and abduct the women. And what they lack in wit, they compensate with an abundance of cruelty and strength.

We need to improve our weapons and war tactics, Ragnar thought. You can't fight jötnar with clubs and javelins. Ragnar remembered the tip of Odins spear. It was made of a hard, shimmering matter, much better than the wooden weapons of Ragnars men. If we had such shiny matter, we could make much better weapons. But where can we get it? May be the gods can help?

[France (DoB)]

Rumors have abounded in France for several generations that Gabriel and the Great Valley Seekers found the Great Valley and stole the secret of immortality from the Water Mother spirit. It is said that the Great Valley is watched over by a tribe of Immortals that live high in the mountains.

It is said that Gabriel and the Great Valley Seekers were cursed by the Water Mother Spirit for their theft to never return to France.

It is also said that Gabriel, through messengers, gave the secret of immortality to Benoit who is also now immortal however repeated espionage attempts by the Dutch to assassinate Benoit has meant that Benoit has remained barricaded in his palace. Only Benoit's closest advisors have been allowed to see him for several generations.

[Celtia (DoB)]

Brennus weeped. Cuidightheach had fallen ill and was lying in his hut with no hope of a restitution. His death would be a terrible blow to the Celtic people!. At least his wife and son was in good health - but Brennus was afraid of how he would deal with the responsibility of leadership now without the guidance of Cuidightheach. He had always been there after his father passed away, and even though they had had their differences and arguments, Brennus loved him like he loved his own father. He prayed to the Earthmother for guidance and strength, and prepared himself to go to Cuidightheach's hut to sit beside him this final night of his life..

[Russia (DoB)]

A seer he met in the streets -an old woman who could barely stand-, with eyes that held his like a vice. She spoke, and the world turned dark.. Then, with flailing hands he fell to the ground, and the old woman was gone. As if she had never been there.

That night, the entire elder family died at the hands of him and his most trusted warriors.

Peter, now the leader with a hold on the rest of the tribe only through threats and familial hostages, threw a stone knife across the room where it stuck in a piece of wood. He knew what he had seen would come to pass, and prayed to the great Mother that his efforts would prevent at least the worst of it. Taking the younger boys from the farms and teaching them how to fight was vital, and already happening.

The others knew little, and wanted everything to stay as it was.
Peter knew different. He had seen it, and his eyes were rimmed with tears..

[France (DoB)]

The following Tale of Creation has become quite popular around French campfires.

In the beginning there were four great spirits Earth, Fire, Water and Wind. The Fire spirit was energetic and passionate. The Earth spirit was creative and industrious. The Water spirit was manipulative and greedy. The Wind spirit was cold and emotionless.

The Fire spirit desired the Earth spirit and tried to gain her attention by filling the sky with stars but the Earth spirit was not impressed as the stars only represented a small commitment of the total Fire spirit. The Fire spirit then took an even larger part of his essence and created the Sun. The Earth spirit's affection was finally won over by this passionate display of devotion and the Fire and Earth spirit merged as one. In his ecstasy, the Fire spirit erupted in hot lava flows all over the Earth spirit and from these eruptions life began. Thus did the Fire spirit become known as the Fire Father.

The Earth spirit took great interest in the lesser spirits bound in flesh that formed from her merging and she nurtured them thus did she become known as the Earth Mother. The Earth mother delighted in the various forms that the lesser spirits took and she and the Fire Father created innumerable types of plants and animals in the throes of their incessant passion.

The Water spirit grew jealous of the Earth Mother and sought to lure the Fire Father away for herself. The Water spirit through guile eventually manipulated the Fire Father into merging with her but she was a cold passionless lover and the Fire Father quickly spurned her to return to the Earth Mother. While she was a poor lover, the Water spirit was extremely fertile and she spawned many lesser spirits bound in flesh as well from her rare matings with the Fire Father thus she became known as the Water Mother.

Still jealous of the Fire Father's attentions to the Earth Mother, the Water Mother devised a ruthless plan. She noted that the creation of each lesser spirit diminished a small portion of their great spirit mother. Thus did the Water Mother manipulate the Earth Mother into allowing her to bestow a blessing of fertility upon the Earth Mother's children. The Earth Mother's children began to multiply in large numbers and the Earth Mother grew weak as her essence was drained by many generations of children drawing on her spirit.

The Fire Father when he found out what the Water Mother had done, demanded that she end her fertility blessing before it was too late for the Earth Mother. The Water Mother claimed there was nothing that she could do since the blessing had already been bestowed. In a fit of rage the Fire Father raped the Water Mother and bestowed a fertility blessing on the lesser spirits that issued forth from that unholy mating. Thus would the Water Mother suffer the same fate as the Earth Mother.

In desperation the Water Mother turned to the Wind Spirit for help. The water Mother argued that with both the Earth Mother and the Water Mother slowly fading away, the Wind spirit was facing a future consisting of only lesser spirits and a rather passionate and virile Fire Father. Not wanting to become the focus of the Fire Father's amorous attentions, the Wind Spirit devised a blessing of her own called Death in which each of the lesser spirits would eventually die and their spirits would merge back into their mother's great spirit. Thus would the Earth and Water Mother's essence be kept in balance.

The Earth and Water mother conspired together to create the Great Valley where their favorite lesser spirits would be shielded from the Wind Spirit's Death blessing thus were the Immortals created and it is said the origins of the Valley Tribes.

[France (DoB)]

A common variation on the Tale of Creation that is popular around France describes the creation of the Netherlanders.

It is said that when the Fire Father raped the Water Mother in vengeance for her attempted destruction of the Earth Mother that the creatures that were spawned from that unholy union were the Netherlanders. It is said that when the Wind Spirit beheld the Netherlanders that she was so disgusted that she conceived of the idea of Death itself. Even Netherlander legends admit that their birth is related to the Realm of the Dead.

It is said that the Netherlanders are favored by the Water Mother as they are manipulative, greedy liars like the mother that spawned them.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

A scout sees Trotseer move swiftly through the Darkwoods to return home. He got the message that the evil France has refused all attempt by Chieftess Angeline to make peace with her former countrymen. French living in the border settlements are even spreading lies, accusing the Nether, and even their Dutch brethren of assasination attempts. The bloodthirsty Benoit even threatens he must show how mighty France is, that they are no weak.

Trotseer the Brave as he is called, (in fact Trotseer means "Brave one") and his men called "Braves" after their leader will soon be home to prepare to meet the French invaders.

[France (DoB)]

Serge, leader of the largest gang in the Garcons de Paris, looked down from the hilltop at the Netherlands. Where the forests had once been full of the sounds of life, they were now silent as the grave. Damn the Netherlanders and their evil quest to destroy the children of the Earth Mother! Reports were that the Netherlander town was defenseless and could easily be destroyed once and for all. Serge had argued at last night's council for just such an attack however the council of elders had informed him that Chief Benoit had ordered the Garcons de Paris to seek out the Trotseer brigands instead. If only Serge had been allowed to speak to Chief Benoit directly he knew he could have convinced him of the wisdom of attacking the Netherlander town directly!

The council of elders had expressly forbidden such an attack due to the dark Nether magic, called Death Magic or Necromancy. Serge did not understand magic but every French child knew the sad tale of Angeline. Not satisfied with just violating Angeline in life, the Netherlander chieftain used Nether magic to animate her corpse so that he could continue to violate her in death! Even now hundreds of winters after her death, poor Angeline's spirit was still denied from returning to the Earth Mother. It was said that the Netherlanders did not defend their town because the Nether mystics could raise armies of the dead to defend their town and that those slain in battle would have their spirits bound forever like poor Angeline. Such evil made Serge's blood boil!

How the council of elders thought they could negotiate peace with such evil was beyond Serge. The Netherlanders demands of resources, French subjugation and the right to walk over French lands whenever their evil hearts desired were so onerous that even the timid council of elders had to turn it down! So it was that the relentless Netherlander spies continued their campaign of assassinations and general intimidation from the shadows because they knew they could not face French warriors in honorable combat. Hopefully these Trotseer brigands will be foolish enough to show themselves for a fair fight.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

"Cheiftain the French Piggyswines are preparing to invade, this time with an even larger force. Our informants say that their evil leader lust to destroy the peaceful Village of the Nether, to burns and rape our defenseless people and bath themself in innocent blood!"

"Savage Pigs! Where is Trotseer and his Braves? If he does not come home soon, all may be lost"

"He is close, let us hope he is not too late. Have you heard the lies and filth that the French twist the tale of our Beloved Ocean Mother and Mountain Father?"

"Yes those I heard. At least these Frenchman are learning something of their history and relation to the Nether. Even a twisted history is better than the ignorance they had before. Maybe someday they will come to learn the truth and we will be as brothers. Until then, the border fights will keep on"

[France (DoB)]

To commemorate 500 winters of Elizabeth's rule and the peace between France and England under her benevolent hand, including the oldest established trade route in the world, Chief Benoit of France has shipped, via English boats, 500 flasks of France's best wine to the English ruler. May the good relations between the English and French tribes continue to be an example of good neighbors for at least another 500 winters!