The Get Me A Girlfriend in 2012 Thread

[Al B. Sure!]

Okay so I'm going to find out if the work function was true or not. If it is, what next? Would I ask her for a different day or leave her alone unless she contacts me?

[SlowwHand]

Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode where he was mad at the car rental place because they didn't have a car held for him?
He pointed out that the woman was fine with taking reservations, it was the holding the reservation that she sucked at.

To further that analogy, I think you're fine with getting the phone number, but after that...not so much.

[MRT144]

Nevermind. She cancelled. Talking about a work function. Fortunately, I know her co-worker (and she knows this since he 'hooked' us up) so I can find out what truth there is in that and act accordingly. I text "Some other time then" and she said "Yea definitely" so she didn't offer a different day. Not looking good.

I don't understand why women are such cowards. Why don't you say no instead of leading me on, giving me your number, etc.?

This always happens. Maybe I'm not good at getting numbers, after all, because women are eager to give them out to men they aren't even interested in. But why do men get so hung up over that initial process of getting numbers, then, like its a hurdle?

Guess I'll just leave her alone and see if she attempts to contact me.

Lmao, the mere fact you want to verify whether or not she actually had a work function is a sign of just how odd you are.

[Dinner]

Guess I'll just leave her alone and see if she attempts to contact me.

Wait 3-5 days, call her up (don't text), and ask her if she'd like to go for a drink. Believe it or not persistence pays off and many times girls will agree to go out on a casual outing with a guy even if they're only marginally interested. That outing is your chance to get her to give you a second look over.

[Al B. Sure!]

Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode where he was mad at the car rental place because they didn't have a car held for him?
He pointed out that the woman was fine with taking reservations, it was the holding the reservation that she sucked at.

To further that analogy, I think you're fine with getting the phone number, but after that...not so much.

Well but it's the opposite. The women are taking the reservations for dates but cancelling when the time comes.

[Al B. Sure!]

Lmao, the mere fact you want to verify whether or not she actually had a work function is a sign of just how odd you are.

What do you mean?

If she made it up, it's clear-cut that she's not interested so time to forget her. If it's true, that means it could go either way.

Isn't it important to know this?

[Thorn]

You didn't lick her did you? That might be why she cancelled.

[MRT144]

What do you mean?

If she made it up, it's clear-cut that she's not interested so time to forget her. If it's true, that means it could go either way.

Isn't it important to know this?

1. It's odd to snoop on people like this.
2. You don't need this information to make decisions in whether you want to spend time with her or not. What do you even really like about her? What makes her worth getting a drink...wait...a smoothie with?
3. You're looking for a reason not to continue pursuing her.

[Thorn]

1. It's odd to snoop on people like this.
2. You don't need this information to make decisions in whether you want to spend time with her or not. What do you even really like about her? What makes her worth getting a drink...wait...a smoothie with?
3. You're looking for a reason not to continue pursuing her.

translation to layman terms:

1. STALKER
2. WHY
3. GAVE UP

[MRT144]

For the life of me, I still can't understand who you're attracted to, what you find interesting in life, people and conversation, and why anyone should be interested in interacting with you.

[gribbler]

You didn't lick her did you? That might be why she cancelled.

Who wouldn't? Everyone loves dogs (except Alby) so I assume licking would go over well

[Thorn]

Hey i got an idea, anyone think a swastica chick might dig him?

[Dinner]

Al should buy a puppy (not an attack breed) and then walk his little puppy around the fashionable side of town where pedistrians often are found. He'll find tons of girls stopping him to pet the puppy dog, make baby faces at it, and that will be his opportunity to strike up a conversation. Even if he's not interesting the girls might find his puppy interesting and over all it would make him more approachable and seem less threatening even if he does put his foot in his mouth about rape (though he should still avoid mentioning rape as most people find that odd).

I suggest a breed known for their docile nature & soft petable fur like a golden retreaver.

[gribbler]

He could have a drink every now and then so people don't assume he's an Al Qaeda member.

[MRT144]

I still haven't heard al state why he wants to date. It feels like he thinks he should only do it as a formality of living, not cause he actually has an interest in it. What do you expect out of a relationship al? Like your first one.

[Hauldren Collider]

Well, he could get laid, for starters.

[MRT144]

Well, he could get laid, for starters.

I don't think he really cares about that.

[Thorn]

I don't think he really cares about that.

gay?

[Braindead]

To come to this, of all places, and expect sensitive advice is a grave error. Like covering yourself in gravy and asking a pack of lions to lick you clean.

Well put.

[Al B. Sure!]

She did in fact have a work function. Now what?

[gribbler]

Now look through her trash to find out more about what kind of food she likes and what are her interests.

[Braindead]

Now what?

Step 1. Ignore any advice on Apolyton particularly if it is sound advice (already accomplished)
Step 2. Go to local zoo (now)
Step 3. Enter lion enclosure
Step 4. Cover self in gravy
Step 5. Ask lions to lick the gravy off

[Braindead]

Now look through her trash to find out more about what kind of food she likes and what are her interests.

What about hacking her email, burgling her house and hiring a private detective to learn more?

[Uncle Sparky]

The only way for sure to know what she likes is to stalk her 24/7. So she doesn't recognize you, wear a Dr. Zaius mask:
pota_dr_zaius_01.jpg

Carry a small bag of your own feces to fling at police when they try to arrest you.

Good luck!

[Hauldren Collider]

I don't think he really cares about that.

We should start a copycat thread, "The Get Al A Boyfriend in 2012 Thread"

[Jon Miller]

It is very shallow to look for a girlfriend just to get laid.

On the other hand, it is natural to want sex.

JM

[Thorn]

OMFG who made Jon Miller a OTF moderator, he's, no offense intended jon, too nice for this place HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHHH

[gribbler]

OMFG who made Jon Miller a OTF moderator, he's, no offense intended jon, too nice for this place HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHHH

Nice...?

[Flubber]

I popped by and there was nothing on the site even remotely interesting so I might as well weigh in on this Alby persona

1. The fact that anyone doesn't know that if you want to keep a text conversation going, the easiest thing to do is ask questions--- its astounding -- this Alby persona is getting dumber. Add that to the fact that women (men too really) will think you are an interesting conversationalist if THEY actually spend most of the time talking about themselves and the way is clear. EXAMPLE TEXT " I understand you study history/politics/xenobiology. It seems like a facsinating area... what led you to study it??"


2. If you ask a girl out, ask her out!!!! Pick a time and place. If they turn you down because of a prior commitment (it DOES happen-- people have lives) turn it around and have them suggest a time thats good for them.

3. "Checking' the truth of her excuse was IMHO a bush league move and doesn't really get you anywhere. Even if a girl lies as to why she cannot see you, it might not signal a lack of interest. Maybe the day you pick is the one day a month she visits her junkie brother in rehab and she doesn't want to lead with that. White lies like that happen all the time. You return a an expected call you miss with the excuse that you were in the shower while really you were in the middle of a dump or having sex or something. To hold someone you don't really know to a truthfulness standard when they first proffer a reason for not getting together is, IMHO, unrealistic.

But keep on chugging Alby persona

Based on the posts, this persona would probably benefit form doing a Costanza- "do the -opposite"


Failing that my advice is very simple. Since you look good enough to garner initial interest, all you really need to do is act sane, normal, non-offensive so

1. LISTEN to her and actually pay attention
2. When in doubt, ask a question about her
3. Turn every question about you around-- Answer it briefly and then ask something about her
4. Watch your opinions
5. SHUT UP

I learned long ago that if you look even halfway attractive, women will want to give you every chance. The Alby persona coud not pull off the cocky approach so the better move is "normal".

I am a chatty guy. I could love to talk about myself and expound on my many opinions. But I learned that being a little self-deprecating and turning the focus back on them-- " My job as a lawyer?? I like it a lot and love the challenge of solving problems every day ,but usually its just chugging away in my office . . But you as a waitress at Chili's-- you must run into all sorts of interesting situations with crazy customers . . What is the craziest thing you had to deal with?

Can you understand what this does Alby persona? I answer her question in a way that is positive (detracts from "lawyer as ego maniacal" stereotype) and downplays it and immediately moves to something about her job that I could genuinely find interesting but in passing mentioning it was something she has to deal with (implicitly acknowledging the difficulties and challenges in a waitressing job) If you acted like it was brain surgery you come across as condescending but every waitress will have a difficult customer story and heading things there you come across as sympathetic and understanding

I haven't tested my "getting numbers" skills in years so unlike KH I have no evidence that I still retain the requisite skills. But I think I would succeed well , mainly because I mastered the basic skill of actually being interested in the other person years ago and second, I wouldn't care that much if I succeeded or not (since I am going home with my wife). It isn't about acting cocky but its an attitude where you approach a woman as an equal . . . you aren't begging for the favor of her attentions. Instead you are a guy that truly believes he has very bit as much to offer as she does. Its amazing how well that works!!

Anyway thanks Alby persona for the distraction-- If I check in a couple of months fron now I will certainly look for the Alby thread where you continue to ask this same question

[onodera]

Al, ****ing listen to what Flubber says.