The Get Me A Girlfriend in 2012 Thread

[Al B. Sure!]

A friend of mine hooked me up with a girl he works with. She wasn't willing to do a blind date but asked to 'facebook stalk' me (her words). She sent me a friend request earlier in the week (so I guess I passed the initial vetting) and I sent her a message after a day or two:

-Hey. You're the girl that ***** told me about, right? He told me you like the Giants. Are you doing anything for the Super Bowl?
-Heyy! Yes, I am. Sorry if the friend request was creepy haha. And I love the giants. I'm not sure what my plans are yet. What about you?
-I don't know yet. One guy I know had a super bowl party planned but I don't think that's happening now that the Packers aren't in it lol. I'll see.

Now what? I thought if she were going to one (which she still may), it might be a good idea to go to it (there's obvious pros and cons of our first meeting being in such circumstance). I'll see how she responds and keep you posted.

Let's get this done.

[onodera]

Go into a sports bar with her to watch the match. It'll help her not notice how creepy you are. I bet she'll have read this thread by then, though.

[dannubis]

Efficiency is my credo; wasted effort my enemy.

I wouldn't bother if I were you.

[molly bloom]

Go into a sports bar with her to watch the match. It'll help her not notice how creepy you are.

Why would anyone think he's creepy ? I'm sure someone who posts this in the music thread would have no shortage of honeys flocking to his crib for some hot love action:

Tyler the Creator sure loves rape. Another song about raping a woman
****ing genius.

Al B Celibate

I won't quote the lyrics because a: they're vile
b: they're banal

[Elok]

I have a friend who can top that easily. He's absolutely obsessed with rape, and makes rape/sexual abuse jokes basically every day. And that's just the start. He's also a grown man with strong opinions about children's TV shows, including Hannah Montana. He's been in mental institutions several times. He's a total egomaniac incapable of holding an extended conversation which isn't centered on himself. He's somewhat overweight, sweats, fidgets constantly, and of course rants and rambles at the drop of a hat. He drinks more than he should, has no career prospects, no tact, no sense of style. He swears like a sailor and typically comes across as flamingly gay (though he's only slightly bi). Oh, and he won't hesitate to tell a woman about any and all of his past adventures, no matter how horrifically inappropriate.

Why am I telling you all this? Because even he has had, to my knowledge, two long-term (not stable, but long-term) relationships with women, in addition to a number of dates and short flings. From this, I conclude that Al's problem must be one of the following:

1. Insincerity. My friend is, at least, impeccably honest and straightforward. He's always himself. Al keeps asking us how he should act; perhaps he's coming across as phony?
2. Relentlessly going after the wrong women. My friend did this at first, when we were at college together, with often hysterical results. Al could stand to have somebody experienced, who knows him IRL, tell him what kind of girl might like him.
3. Maybe he's just boring in person. That's almost the only other fault my friend doesn't have but which Al might.

[rah]

It sounds like she's fishing for an invitation to do something for the Superbowl. Don't disappoint her.

[pchang]

It sounds like she's fishing for an invitation to do someone for the Superbowl. Don't disappoint her.

fixed

[rah]

It sounds like she's fishing for an invitation to do someone for the Superbowl, so I expect you'll disappoint her.

Fixed further.

[OzzyKP]

It sounds like she's fishing for an invitation to do something for the Superbowl. Don't disappoint her.

Except that Alby was fishing for an invitation to do something for the Super Bowl, hahah. You shouldn't have brought up the Super Bowl unless you had plans and an idea of what you could do with her. Don't expect her to invite you somewhere. Now you better think of something quick.

[rah]

Hmm, planing and thinking up something quick hasn't seemed to be Alby's strength. (based on many many threads)

[OzzyKP]

Call up your Packers fan friend, (discount) double check if he is having the party or not. If not, then pick a sports bar.

[rah]

Heck he should invite her over to his place for a more intimate party. That way he can scare her away earlier in the process and avoid the normal angst.

[Lorizael]

Call up your Packers fan friend, (discount) double check if he is having the party or not. If not, then pick a sports bar.

Oof.

[Hauldren Collider]

Is this poly's worst thread ever? That's a fierce competition, I know, but I mean...really? Help me get a girlfriend, poly! I trust in your wisdom!

[MRT144]

Is this poly's worst thread ever? That's a fierce competition, I know, but I mean...really? Help me get a girlfriend, poly! I trust in your wisdom!

Until he calls us all retards because he won't do what we suggest.

[Hauldren Collider]

[rah]

When you're clueless, even bad advice sounds good.

[onodera]

When you're clueless, even bad advice sounds good.

In Al's case it's the other way around.

[loinburger]

Al, I get the impression that you go into creepy-mode when you're around a woman you like. The secret to getting and keeping a girlfriend is to not do this.

Take this potential superbowl party as an example. How would you act at the party if you were only around your male friends? How would you act if this female friend were also in attendance? I'm willing to bet that your answers are not the same, and this has to stop. (After you've been dating her for awhile then the answers should probably diverge, but to start out with you shouldn't be thinking of her as "sexy female friend who I want to awkwardly lose my virginity to," but instead as "friend who happens to be female.") You can make a few concessions to the presence of the new female friend, e.g. masking your farts and wearing deodorant, but ideally these should be kept to a minimum.

[Al B. Sure!]

Al, I get the impression that you go into creepy-mode when you're around a woman you like. The secret to getting and keeping a girlfriend is to not do this.

Take this potential superbowl party as an example. How would you act at the party if you were only around your male friends? How would you act if this female friend were also in attendance? I'm willing to bet that your answers are not the same, and this has to stop. (After you've been dating her for awhile then the answers should probably diverge, but to start out with you shouldn't be thinking of her as "sexy female friend who I want to awkwardly lose my virginity to," but instead as "friend who happens to be female.") You can make a few concessions to the presence of the new female friend, e.g. masking your farts and wearing deodorant, but ideally these should be kept to a minimum.

So no trimming my eye brows and putting on a face scrub, toner, and cream?

[MRT144]

Al, I get the impression that you go into creepy-mode when you're around a woman you like. The secret to getting and keeping a girlfriend is to not do this. Take this potential superbowl party as an example. How would you act at the party if you were only around your male friends? How would you act if this female friend were also in attendance? I'm willing to bet that your answers are not the same, and this has to stop. (After you've been dating her for awhile then the answers should probably diverge, but to start out with you shouldn't be thinking of her as "sexy female friend who I want to awkwardly lose my virginity to," but instead as "friend who happens to be female.") You can make a few concessions to the presence of the new female friend, e.g. masking your farts and wearing deodorant, but ideally these should be kept to a minimum.

I disagree. I think the problem is that the way he is around his male friends is bad.

[Al B. Sure!]

Why would anyone think he's creepy ? I'm sure someone who posts this in the music thread would have no shortage of honeys flocking to his crib for some hot love action:



Al B Celibate

I won't quote the lyrics because a: they're vile
b: they're banal

You, sir, clearly missed the point. If you listened to the whole song, you'd see it's a downtrodden male's interpretation of sheltered aloof women secretly desiring rape ('She been plotting on my black ****', 'You touch yourself after hours/Ain't no man allowed in your bedroom/You're sleeping alone in bed/But check your window, he's at your window'). There's the necessity of social restraint and friendzoning ('We can chill and I can act like I don't wanna ****/You can tell me all your problems like I really give one').

It's a portrait of a male psychological type.

It's distasteful, sure. It's shocking, sure. But so was Eminem who spoke to a lot of people in a similar manner.

[MRT144]

You, sir, clearly missed the point. If you listened to the whole song, you'd see it's a downtrodden male's interpretation of sheltered aloof women secretly desiring rape ('She been plotting on my black ****', 'You touch yourself after hours/Ain't no man allowed in your bedroom/You're sleeping alone in bed/But check your window, he's at your window'). There's the necessity of social restraint and friendzoning ('We can chill and I can act like I don't wanna ****/You can tell me all your problems like I really give one').

It's a portrait of a male psychological type.

It's distasteful, sure. It's shocking, sure. But so was Eminem who spoke to a lot of people in a similar manner.

No, it's about a rapist justifying his rape by thinking she wanted to be raped.

[Dinner]

It sounds like she's fishing for an invitation to do something for the Superbowl. Don't disappoint her.

That's my take as well. She wanted Al to invite her out, was being kind of obvious about it, and he kicked the can down the road. He needs to figure something out either today or tomorrow so she has a bit of notice because you don't want to drop something on Saturday afternoon on her as she'll likely have made other plans by then.

[Oncle Boris]

I wouldn't introduce Albie to a female acquaintance of mine, for fear of retaliation (in the kind of girls she would introduce me to).

[gribbler]

You, sir, clearly missed the point. If you listened to the whole song, you'd see it's a downtrodden male's interpretation of sheltered aloof women secretly desiring rape ('She been plotting on my black ****', 'You touch yourself after hours/Ain't no man allowed in your bedroom/You're sleeping alone in bed/But check your window, he's at your window'). There's the necessity of social restraint and friendzoning ('We can chill and I can act like I don't wanna ****/You can tell me all your problems like I really give one').

It's a portrait of a male psychological type.

It's distasteful, sure. It's shocking, sure. But so was Eminem who spoke to a lot of people in a similar manner.

Do you happen to think rape jokes are hilarious?

[loinburger]

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four.

[Dinner]

My other advice would be to avoid rap lyrics and trying to sound like a hard gangster during the first date. Just act like a normal person and she'll likely think of you as a normal person. Make some jokes, keep the conversation rolling, remember to look her in the eye and smile once in a while.

[Al B. Sure!]

My other advice would be to avoid rap lyrics and trying to sound like a hard gangster during the first date. Just act like a normal person and she'll likely think of you as a normal person. Make some jokes, keep the conversation rolling, remember to look her in the eye and smile once in a while.

1) Chicks dig that I rap. They like an 'artiste' But I'm still rebuilding the way I approach writing so I'm not going to show off my old bad stuff.
2) Jokes and conversation are a bad idea. Definitely want to minimize me opening my mouth.
3) I'm a smiling buffoon. Need to smile less.

[Lorizael]

Jokes and conversation are a bad idea.

Exactly what are you hoping to achieve, then?