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  • 40% of German soldiers too fat

    Rommel would have been proud

    German soldiers are fat, unfit and too fond of cigarettes and stodgy food, according to a parliamentary report into the physical state of the army.

    The report, an annual review of the state of the military, said Germany's soldiers were fatter than the average citizen - 40% are overweight, compared with 35% of civilians of the same age, while 8.5% are classed as "seriously overweight".

    "It would be an enormous advantage on the battlefield if they shaped up," the defence ministry admitted yesterday.

    The report, presented in Berlin by Reinhold Robbe, the parliamentary commissioner for the military, said soldiers, 70% of whom smoke, ate too much and did not move enough, either on or off duty. "This has much to do with poor equipment and lack of training," the report said. It added that bureaucracy got in the way of their physical fitness.

    Soldiers, it said, spent too much time filling in forms, doing emissions tests on vehicles, and separating rubbish. Robbe also criticised financial cuts made in recent years which he said had reduced the quality of food supplied to the army.

    A respondent to an army blog posting who identified himself as an officer blamed conscription, which meant many soldiers were not serious about the task.

    The army was, he said, "full of fatties ... making us the laughing stock abroad where we're seen as overweight grumpy old men ... compared to the British, we're viewed as pathetic."
    Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

  • #2
    Wasn't that always the case? Remember the "Dicke Bertha"
    Blah

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    • #3
      To much beer and wurst.
      Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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      • #4
        Oh that’s why they have been postponing WWIII for 41 years!
        Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
        The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
        The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

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        • #5
          lol emission tests
          Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendant, and to embrace them is to acheive enlightenment.

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          • #6
            Is it time for WW3 for Germany? Third time lucky maybe, unless you have to march anywhere
            Speaking of Erith:

            "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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            • #7
              No battle of the bulge jokes yet?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Heraclitus
                Oh that’s why they have been postponing WWIII for 41 years!
                I think it's the result of a secret Allied de-nazification programme post WWII called "wurst for world peace". It was developed as a soft power alternative when it turned out the UK's earlier "joke warfare" attempts would soon be outlawed by the Geneva conventions
                Last edited by BeBMan; March 9, 2008, 13:15.
                Blah

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                • #9
                  ... compared to the British, we're viewed as pathetic.
                  So true, so true All that extra weight will slow them down from getting the sunbeds before "ze English" arrive
                  Speaking of Erith:

                  "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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                  • #10
                    Well, the individual soldier has dropped some. I think it's because it's usually the dumber ones who join military. Not always. Not always, there's sharp dudes there, very sharp. Must most are idiots. They don't even have the skills of basic human, like read a map, navigate, make fire, camp. All this is difficult for some people. Plus the fact that they're getting fatter? I mean we really need that technology at this point.

                    The real warrior mentality has been lost anyway. It's not about gizmos and how to use some freaking technology. It's about surviving and doing everything with what you have, and most importantly, what you don't have. There's all kinds of specialities these days, like yeah, we are specialized to do snow and forrest. WHo gives a damn? It's snow and forrest, what kind of special skills do you require? How to survive in cold? What are you, 9 years old? Is this too challenging? Or how to put on white gear and ski? DUde, if this is too difficult, you need to specialize in surviving without your mother.

                    I think it's because most soldiers these days don't want to be real soldiers. They don't have the mentality for it. MOST. Not all. There's still tons of good fighters out there. But most are just not cutting it nor are they going to cut it. They're too dumb or too fat or both.

                    To get real soldiers, you need people who want to go to war. Then train them to go to war. That's it. It's really simple, it's not supposed to be a summer camp and these days there's lots of summer camps. Even camping is sometimes "too dangerous". How is that too dangerous? Lots of jungle training has been cut back for being too dangerous. That's BS. You don't shape the army to fit the bad shape of it, you do it the other way around.

                    That's why FFL and its paras are actually still real soldiers in the West, and as for others? Keep looking.
                    In da butt.
                    "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                    THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                    "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

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                    • #11
                      It's part of a new German military plan to save money on bullet proof vests by having soldiers with bullet proof blubber.

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                      • #12
                        Isn't army training meant to be like... hard?

                        Have they like, lowered their standard?

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                        • #13
                          One of my favorite images in the funny pictures thread. Finnish army recruits:
                          Attached Files

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                          • #14
                            Germans are drafted into the army. They're not going to let them out just because they're fat.
                            Graffiti in a public toilet
                            Do not require skill or wit
                            Among the **** we all are poets
                            Among the poets we are ****.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Blake
                              Isn't army training meant to be like... hard?

                              Have they like, lowered their standard?
                              There was a German military school I heard of. It is said that the training was so tough that you lost the ability to smile or laugh.
                              Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

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