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The next time a "male member-enlargement" spambot posts, remember this tale of warning

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  • The next time a "male member-enlargement" spambot posts, remember this tale of warning

    Resident’s member is saved from ring

    Firefighters dodge sparks as they saw through metal ring into which man had inserted his penis. He used the weight in effort to make it longer, but it got stuck for three days.

    In what firefighters described as a once-in-a-lifetime call, officials with the Costa Mesa Fire Department’s Urban Search and Rescue squad were summoned early Tuesday morning to Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach to save another man’s penis from perishing.

    The man, whom authorities declined to identify, other than saying that he was in his 50s, had apparently put his penis through the hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener, two or three days earlier.

    The device got stuck, and he couldn’t remove it. The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size, authorities said. In order to remove the ring, firefighters had to use a saw to cut through it.

    “They said his comment was, ‘This will make me the chief of my tribe,’” said Costa Mesa Battalion Chief Scott Broussard, who like others in the department, heard about the incident the next morning.

    The man thought the weight from the steel object would make his organ longer, but what he did to it almost rendered it useless, authorities said.

    The steel collar-like fastener cut off circulation to the man’s penis, said Capt. Dave Kearley. As a result, blood could not flow out of it, and it swelled to the point that the man couldn’t remove the ring, Kearley said.

    Broussard added that doctors at Hoag had told the man, who refused immediate treatment, that if he waited any longer to remove the fastener, the flesh in his penis would die.

    “He was kind of a wingnut,” Broussard said.

    Staff kept him in the hospital under a psychiatric hold and called the Fire Department to come remove the item because they didn’t have the tools to do it, Broussard said. Medical personnel tied down the man to a table and sedated him for the emergency, he said.

    Firefighters had to don full surgery garb, including masks and scrubs.

    The men constructed a watering system to keep the sparks from the sawing — which were flying half-way across the room — from injuring the patient as they cut through the inch-thick ring around his penis.

    The delicate procedure took two hours.

    “They also slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing,” Broussard said.

    If anything, the incident demonstrated the versatility of the city firefighters’ rescue skills, Broussard said.

    “If we’re cutting people out of some kind of building, or if we’re cutting right up next to somebody’s flesh and don’t damage his flesh, then it’s a good day,” he said.
    <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures :( :( :(</p>

  • #2
    No way. No way that's real.
    "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
    "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud


    • #3
      After three days, his dick would be toast.
      Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...


      • #4
        Hey man--it's the marvels of medical science.
        "You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."--General Sir Charles James Napier


        • #5
          ‘This will make me the chief of my tribe,’” said Costa Mesa Battalion Chief Scott Broussard

          ****ing ROTFLMAO
          We need seperate human-only games for MP/PBEM that dont include the over-simplifications required to have a good AI
          If any man be thirsty, let him come unto me and drink. Vampire 7:37
          Just one old soldiers opinion. E Tenebris Lux. Pax quaeritur bello.


          • #6
            One ring to rule them all!



            • #7
              What I want to know, is how did they keep the metal cool while they removed the ring.

              In the early days when I work at MINSY, I was grinding metal with air driven grinder. We did QC grinding with an air driven 4" wheel and large weld with air driven 8" wheel. If you put some pressure on the grinder, the sparks will burn your cloths. The grinder will melt the metal at the point of contact. I had metal turn bright red, it was that hot.


              • #8
                They use an oil-based lubricant as coolant.

                I got the Jete from C.C. Sabathia. : Jon Miller


                • #9
                  So he was happy with the results, right?
                  Promoting world peace one bum at a time.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Guynemer View Post
                    No way. No way that's real.

                    What was your first clue?
                    (")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Guynemer View Post
                      No way. No way that's real.
                      Let me guess: You can tell by the pixels - that and you've seen quite a few Photoshops in your day?



                      • #12
                        Do you smell something burning?
                        Promoting world peace one bum at a time.