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Gnomes: The Next Generation

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  • bipolarbear
    replied
    First a little backstory...

    How the POWARS came to be

    Arising from the wake of the great plague which had besieged the backyard, the POWAR people found themselves in a great state of disrepair. Many of the elders of days long past had died in the plague, and with them had gone the knowledge of the POWAR people. Who they were, where they had come from, what their name stood for and even their rich culinary history were all as sands in the wind.

    A great debate soon ensued as to how they should organize themselves, yet none had the skills of rhetoric sway enough of the POWAR people to their side for a decision to be reached. For many weeks there was a vicious deadlock amongst the POWARS, while they fought amongst themselves for a solution.

    While contemplating her suicide and overbearing weltschmerz, Tanzinimia the daughter of a once mighty bee tamer, came across a stinking, chubby, old and disheveled man asleep, burrowed inside of an empty acorn shell. He declared himself to be a shaman who had fallen off of a Bee transport from Toppleopolis many years before the plague, and had been wandering the limbs of the tree looking for Gnew York ever since. Casting aside her self serving pity Tanzinimia left a vague gesture and the sentence, “It’s over there.” as her legacy, before plummeting to her doom.

    The shaman wandered many feet before finally reaching the fabled city of Gnew York.

    Upon arrival, the many age’d shaman, one of the last few survivors from the days of yore, told the POWAR people that he would consult the gods for a solution. He commanded seven young POWAR braves to seek a magic leaf that was rumored to have been discovered at the shady base of the once mighty Toppleopolis. After three days two of the seven braves, the twins Severin and Melchior, returned dragging a lone leaf of the mystical sage the shaman had requested.

    For six weeks thereafter he carefully cut and boiled the leaf mixing honey, Bush Berries, and acorn mash until it was a chunky and effervescent brew whose odor was so pungent it could be smelled for feet around. Then, on the night of the smiling moon, during the harvest dance he drank the mystic brew and begged the great Hare, Harvey, for an answer.

    After many hours of enduring the shaman’s high pitched laughter, which was accompanied by his imbibing much more of the brew, an answer had still not come. So the POWAR people waited until the rising of the sun for Harvey to deliver them from their social quagmire. The sun rose and set, and by the next moonrise the shaman, still laughing, though holding his aching head, had yet to receive an answer from Harvey.

    For six days and seven nights the POWAR people endured patiently, feigning happiness and eschewing sleep, until finally on the seventh night the crapulent shaman spoke. Though at first lost in a slur of mixed up phrases, the message was finally translated syllable by syllable.

    He had requested more of the sacred sage. Though he may not have realized it, the shaman had already given the POWARS exactly what he said he would.

    Fed up with his besotted wassailing and drunken antics the POWARS set aside their differences, and skinned the false prophet, hurling his corpse down to the feral grasslands for the ants to feast upon. Over many a goblet of the magic mead the POWARS reached a suitable agreement on what colors to use for their flag, and how they should divide their labor. Though still lacking in their much treasured ancient knowledge, the POWARS had now acquired the unity they needed to once again rebuild their empire to the thriving megalopolis it once was under the leadership of the conjoined twins, Severin and Melchior.

    Last edited by bipolarbear; June 24, 2007, 08:40.

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  • bipolarbear
    replied
    Bald gnomes? Amelie begs to differ. bald craftsmen maybe, but that is one hirsuite hobbit if I do say so myself.

    I'm sure though that given a healthy propaganda campaign and lots of evil video games they'd be less doleful about skinning a deceased enemy, especially if you remove all of the key gnome identifying parts. When people resort to cannibalism there is a tendency to remove the hands and feet not for functional, but emotional value. It's easier to remove yourself from the idea of eating a human if it looks less like one.

    (I don't really plan on gnome skinning btw)
    Last edited by bipolarbear; June 24, 2007, 08:35.

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  • appleciders
    replied
    I thought gnomes are bald. Anyway, I suppose you could harvest gnome parts at the extreme cost of happiness and loyalty among your gnomes.
    Last edited by appleciders; June 24, 2007, 03:19.

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  • bipolarbear
    replied
    I can't become a gnomish Hitler? What about hair? In the siege of Carthage during the Third Punic War the Carthagineans harvested hair to string their bows with (though I can't remember how effective that was).

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  • appleciders
    replied
    Yuck!


    If forced to consider such a proposition, I would say that no part of a gnome can be harvested, 'cause it's icky. If you want to try that with animals in the yard, you're welcome to, but you should remember that the gnomes are not exactly at the top of the food chain here, and will take losses accordingly.

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  • bipolarbear
    replied
    Originally posted by appleciders
    Clothes, sure. Cloth armor? You could sure try, although it might not be very effective. Probably wouldn't hurt at all, though. Nets have never been tried before- it would take some experimentation to find out.
    How about skinning other gnomes (or a cat ) to make leather?

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  • General Ludd
    replied
    I remember how the techs are managed now.

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  • appleciders
    replied
    Clothes, sure. Cloth armor? You could sure try, although it might not be very effective. Probably wouldn't hurt at all, though. Nets have never been tried before- it would take some experimentation to find out.

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  • bipolarbear
    replied
    I always assumed that we all had clothes, sort of like how the Smurfs all managed to acquire diapers and silly hats.

    Diplomacy
    The P.O.W.A.R.S. that be would be more than happy to sell some bark armor to the Nomads in exchange for grass weaving lessons.

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  • General Ludd
    replied
    Question: Does grass weaving assume the ability to make clothes/armour and nets with grass?

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  • General Ludd
    replied
    Infact, here is the first turn for the nomads.


    The elders of the nomad tribe held a secret council to discuss the future of the tribe. Given the turmoltuous political climate of the yard, and the fear of the nomad tribe being blamed for the plague, the elders have decided that it is time for the tribe to adopt a strong leadership that can ensure the safety and wellbeing of the nomads.

    It has been announced that a grand tournment shall be held, in which every nomad will take part in. Gnomes will face each other in one on one combat, untill their openent yields or is slain. The tournment will continue untill one gnome emerges victorious over all others. That gnome will be made warlord, and leader of the tribe.

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  • bipolarbear
    replied
    Know Your Roots

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  • General Ludd
    replied
    I think I will return with the nomads.

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  • appleciders
    replied
    The reunification of the POWARS in their arboreal Gnew York has revealed a broken society- the great craftsgnomes who built the railings and platforms have perished, and only two of the great bees have survived their captivity in the yard. A small expedition revealed that Toppelopolis has been mostly destroyed by a branch broken in a windstorm. Still, all is not lost- the descendents of the ancient Sappers have retained the theoretical knowledge of the great arboreal engineers. One single gnome has tended bees for his entire life, and knows stories from his grandfather of the great bee-hunts where the great beasts were captured. The POWARS are prepared to regain their lofty pasts.

    The gnomes of the once-great Laketown have reassembled on the shores of the lakes where their ancestors fished for tadpoles. Great speeches, lasting for seconds on end, from the descendent of the great King, have led the Twin Lake Gnomes to swear a return to greatness. The knowledge of Rope Making has survived the plague, and the Twin Lake gnomes have returned to their ruined city and settled within the ruined barracks and storehouse.

    The return to Brickbane by the Wall Gnome clan was much quieter, as the disrepair in the city brought a sobering sense of nostalgia to the gnomes gathered there. Fata City and the C.A.C. had been wiped off the face of the lawn almost entirely, so Brickbane has become the rallying point for the entire Wall Gnome nation. The Wall Gnome people have retained the knowledge of Rope Making, and so a true hope of rebuilding the intricate network of ropes that bound Brickbane into a livable city remains.

    The return of the Claykin people to the subterranean lairs in Caivgridde met with a pleasant suprise- the rudiments of scratch-remembering had been passed down from an ancient Scratcharian, and a few scraps of scratched leaves in the partly-collapsed Scratchiary held the secrets to both Rope Making and the near-legendary Pebble Axe technology. While the Claykin people, unused to the outdoors, suffered more than other tribes, this piece of scratch-remembering provides an excellent chance for a strong return for the great city Caivgridde.

    The Trash Gnomes were the only tribe not driven to homelessness by the plague- a strong dictatorial king took the tribe under a firm hand and ruthlessly ejected all gnomes who showed signs of infection. The king also used this power to remove any dissenters to his rule, ensuring his absolute power. Still, the Trash Gnomes took great losses in the plague, and the gnomes who are left are unhappy with the king, though far too scared to challenge his rule.

    The Barbecue Gnomes have abandoned their settlement by the flowerbed and have returned to their traditional home near the barbecue. While very few in number, the Barbecue Gnomes have retained their traditional militarism in order to survive and are strikingly fierce warriors. They have kept their signature throwing spears as an intergral part of their culture and are the only gnome society that possesses it.

    The Bush Gnomes have returned to their capital at Karthago and begun the laborious task of rebuilding- the city was nearly completely destroyed. The news is not entirely bad; two separate gnomes have received the ancient skill of Ant Riding from their ancestors, and it is expected that the labor provided by these ants will greatly assist in bringing Karthago back to prominence.

    The Nomads, already used to a life on the move, left the yard entirely after the Plague began ripping through the POWARS. As carriers of the Plague, it affected them less severely, though the Nomads were a small tribe to begin with. Their traditional grass weaving and archery skills have been retained and will prepare them for a prominent role in the future power struggles in the yard.

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  • appleciders
    replied
    Alright then! Gnomes: The Next Generation has returned! A few changes to note:

    Unlike the previous GnomeNES, no rigidly defined territories are marked on the map. Any resource, artifact, or city can be interacted with in basically any way you can imagine. The further an object is from the city the gnomes are working from, the higher the rate of attrition among the workers. Resources a long distance from the city may be more trouble than they're worth.

    The method of growth for cities has changed. No longer do you need to order gnomes to breed- they'll handle that on their own. Rather, you simply order all of your gnomes to go about their respective projects, and the growth of the colony will depend on the density of your city, your food supply, and other events at your city.

    At the moment, the Nomads and Bush Gnomes are NPC. These nations were originally controlled by General Ludd and Lord Nuclear, who will, naturally, have first dibs on them. If the nations are not claimed within a week, I will allow them to be claimed by other players. The Trash Gnomes and BBQ Gnomes are not playable factions. If any new player wants a nation, they can either wait a week and see if the Bush Gnomes or Nomads are indeed open, or else I can create a new nation for that player.

    Finally, please consolidate your orders down into one post- that makes my life much easier when updates roll around.

    Otherwise, we're open for business!
    Last edited by appleciders; June 24, 2007, 00:41.

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