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The Trappings of War: Volume XXIII

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  • The Trappings of War: Volume XXIII

    An UnOrthOdOx view of the Glory of War

    With everything prepared, I went back to see to the landing of our guest.

    A blazon blue flag flew high over the mast, signifying that this was a Spanish ship. As it pulled ashore, a man clad in some of the brightest silk I had ever seen strolled down to meet me. I had never quite gotten accustomed to seeing men in silks. Sure, it was a fine cloth, but it just seemed to suit a woman far more than a man, and to see this fellow striding across the beach with a pillowed shirt and flowing robes of silk, it only reinforced that thought.

    “Greetings!” A smile parted his face in a putrid display of teeth as he looked me over. “I have come to meet with Lord UnOrthOdOx, would you be so kind as to go and fetch him?”

    I caught myself before letting out a bitter response. Spain was obviously accustomed to seeing their leaders in silk far more than GoW. My recent ambassadorial experiences kicked in, and I held my temper at bay. “Forgive me, I am Lord UnOrthOdOx, a pleasure to meet you. I hear you have come to see the Dragon, or at least what is left?”

    “Hah! You are the Lord here? Well, I suppose I could have expected no more from such a small village so far from civilization. I am MrWhereItsAt, Ambassador of the Almighty Togas to Neu Demogyptica, explorer, and scientist. Here to examine what you claim to be a Dragon.” He stepped forward and offered his hand. I suddenly became acutely aware of the stench that permeated his very being. It was obvious that he had been long at sea, unable to bathe.

    Ignoring the insult and passing it off as the words of a fool, I continued. “Well, then, I have had a breakfast prepared, let us eat, and you can have an opportunity to wash and relax, then I will show you what remains of the beast in question as well as the Temple constructed in honor of the Dragon.”

    “Wash? There is no need for that, I washed this morning. Breakfast, however, sounds great.”

    This was perhaps the first time in my life when I had ever been so disgusted by a person upon first meeting them. However, it was my duty to see past that and at least act politely while he was a guest. We continued on to the dining area, where a nice meal of bacon, fish, and eggs had been prepared. Wine which had been chilled by the night time waters of the sea had been set out to drink, and a warm fire burned in the hearth.

    I had hoped that a full meal would calm this Spaniard down some, and ease whatever had apparently been eating away at him to cause such a fowl mood. He eagerly took to the meal, and I had the feeling that all would be well after he had eaten.

    “What the hell do you call this ****!?” MrWhereItsAt bellowed as he threw his empy plate against the wall. “Bring me here and feed me this **** that’s not even fit for a dog?” I watched as Shiber silently slipped from the table and out through the door, aparantly at a loss for words himself. “To hell with it! Show me this so-called Dragon and I can be on my way away from this sorry dump!”

    Aro made a move to stand, obviously not in the mood to hear such words, but I halted him with a hand on his shoulder. “As you wish, MrWhereItsAt. Right this way.” I said as I stood and led him from the room.

    We rode out on horseback up to Mount Zen where what remained of the skeleton lay along the cliffs bleaching in the sun. “Well, there you have it. Or what is left of it. We have found uses for nearly everything on it. The ribs and jaw were used in making the Temple, smaller ribs are made into horns. I am sure we will find some use for the rest eventually as well.”

    “You call this a Dragon? Boy, you guys are mighty superstitious aren’t ya? Looks like a mere fish to me. Tell ya what, why don’t I stay here and take some measurements, you go down and see if you can’t manage to have a decent lunch made up.”

    I was more than happy to be out of his company if only for a brief time. “Certainly. If there is anything else you need, let me know.” I stated coldly as I turned my mount and left. Never had I met one with such foul manners, and he was an Ambassador? I thought of what I would do to Master Zen for inviting such a man to Camulodunum as I rode back to town.

    The afternoon passed blissfully by without MrWhereItsAt polluting the air with his manners and stench. As such, it was not until late evening that I began to wonder where he had gotten off to. I quickly grabbed Eira and Aro, and we set out to see if something had become of him on Mount Zen.

    We rode wide apart, covering as much ground as possible. Each of us had a horn in order to signal when we saw anything. It was near the base of Mount Zen when Eira let loose a blast on the horn. By the time I arrived to see what was going on, Eira had MrWhereItsAt wrestled to the ground, Aro was attending to a young woman from the village who had obviously been beaten and half her clothes were torn off.

    “Eira stand down!” I shouted, as I saw him reach for a dagger. He gave me a cold stare then brought his arm up. “EIRA!!!” I reached and pulled him off of MrWhereItsAt.

    “Sir, you saw what he was doing! We cannot allow that to be toler…”

    I slapped him with the back of my hand. “Eira, you are like a son to me, but you do not tell me what is allowed here. This man is here at the invitation of Master Zen. We cannot go about dispensing mob justice.”

    “I don’t know what kind of a town you run here, but you can be sure Togas will here of this! I demand justice for this attack!” MrWhereItsAt shouted as he stood and brushed the dirt off his precious clothes.

    I could hold back no longer. “And YOU. You come here at an invitation of our Consul of Foreign Affairs. Yet, from the moment you stepped off that boat you have been a sore upon the land, fouling up the very air you breath. If it were not for that invitation, I assure you I would kill you myself right now. You are no longer welcome here, and unless you plan to use that dagger you are slowly moving for behind your back, I suggest you leave immediately!”

    We exchanged a long stare, MrWhereItsAt was obviously gauging his chances in a fight, and searching for his best way out. Finally, he stood down, though. “Very well.” He muttered as he turned. “You want to get all riled over a whore, fine. You have not seen the last of me, however, UnOrthOdOx.”

    I was relieved when that ship finally was out of sight. But, no sooner did it disappear over the horizon than a rider came rushing into town.

    “UnOrthOdOx! You are needed immediately.”

    “What is it?”

    “Aggie is missing, Ghengis has gone mad, and a bunch of Luxians have organized into an encampment to the south of Port Isolation. You are now the acting C.o.W.!”
    Last edited by UnOrthOdOx; July 23, 2003, 12:15.
    One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
    You're wierd. - Krill

    An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

  • #2

    I would like to personally thank MrWIA for once again being a good sport and letting me turn him into an ass for this story.

    It is only in honor of him that I do so, really. I needed a villain and they are my favorite type of characters to read about. And, once again, MrWIA shows he is a good sport in allowing me to treat him as thus. (not as bad, really, as 'that other' thing he allowed... )

    I am a bit behind, but with his permission in hand, things should proceed a bit quicker now.
    One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
    You're wierd. - Krill

    An UnOrthOdOx Hobby


    • #3

      BTW, I think you meant 'foul' instead of 'fowl'.

      Unless you are trying to intimate something...

      Good job.
      The greatest delight for man is to inflict defeat on his enemies, to drive them before him, to see those dear to them with their faces bathed in tears, to bestride their horses, to crush in his arms their daughters and wives.

      Duas uncias in puncta mortalis est.


      • #4

        If you want some REALLY painful spelling errors, go read some old Jungle Gazettes....


        And fixed.
        Last edited by UnOrthOdOx; July 23, 2003, 12:16.
        One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
        You're wierd. - Krill

        An UnOrthOdOx Hobby


        • #5
          I don't think I've ever been written about with such words!

          And I'm enjoying every moment

          What kind of blackguard am I, really? I'm sure you will all soon find out...

          Back to the ROOTS of addiction. My first missed poll!


          • #6
            Does anyone else smell something?


            • #7
              /me sniffs...
              A true ally stabs you in the front.

              Secretary General of the U.N. & IV Emperor of the Glory of War PTWDG | VIII Consul of Apolyton PTW ISDG | GoWman in Stormia CIVDG | Lurker Troll Extraordinaire C3C ISDG Final | V Gran Huevote Team Latin Lover | Webmaster Master Zen Online | CivELO (3°)


              • #8
                I think its coming from that Spanish guy...........


                • #9
                  Not me, buddy.

                  (turns away as he notes the other Spanish guy lurking behind him)

                  As it is, MWIA gets the honor of flaying UnOrthOdOx once we've captured and burned Imperial City.
                  Empire growing,
                  Pleasures flowing,
                  Fortune smiles and so should you.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by History Guy
                    Not me, buddy.

                    (turns away as he notes the other Spanish guy lurking behind him)

                    As it is, MWIA gets the honor of flaying UnOrthOdOx once we've captured and burned Imperial City.
                    I don't think you even know where Imperial City is, oh wait, that's right its been the Numero Uno of the Top 5 Cities Screen since the dawn of time. My bad.


                    • #11
                      hi ,

                      Uno , you never fail to amaze most people , .....

                      darn ya good , ...

                      you really , really ought to think about making a living out of writing , .......

                      have a nice day

                      P.S. ; cant wait to read more
                      - LEGIO PATRIA NOSTRA - one shot , one kill - freedom exists only in a book - everything you always wanted to know about special forces - everything you always wanted to know about Israel - what Dabur does in his free time , ... - in french - “Become an anti-Semitic teacher for 5 Euro only.”
                      WHY DOES ISRAEL NEED A SECURITY FENCE --- join in an exceptional demo game > join here forum is now open ! - the new civ Conquest screenshots > go see them UPDATED 07.11.2003 ISRAEL > crisis or challenge ?