Well, rather than talk about how there's no stories to read here, lets write us some stories and talk about how nobody else is writing here!
I'm chronicling a game I am in the middle of, playing as the mighty Zulu Empire. I have imposed one big rule on myself though. I can't play to the Zulus' strength, which is being aggressive b@$7@rD$.
What do this mean?
1. No declaring war ever. (If attacked I can defend myself and liberate another nations' territory until they ask for peace, at which point I must come to terms)
2. I need a diplomatic, cultural, or space race victory.
3. I have to accept Open borders unless it's an unfair trade.
4. I have to give help.
So there you have it, those are the restrictions I'm giving myself. The map is random, I don't know what's coming.
Oh, since I haven't played much in the past year, the difficulty is set at "settler." (Because my grandma could beat me in my sleep at this game.)
Here we go!:
Shaka: Haha suckas! I made it into this game after all! And all y'all thought that Metaliturtle story about me with the bald chick got me banned from the Civ series!
Other CIV leaders: Stop breaking the fourth wall Shaka!
Shaka: A-hem... Yes, it is with great pride and determination that I start the FUBU er... um... ZULU empire!
People of Zulu: Yeah we gonna kill some tanky mofos!
Shaka: NOOO! Do you realize that people declare war on us just because they know we'll attack them otherwise? In this game we must be more b!tchtastic than Gandhi.
People of Zulu: SNAP!!!
And so Shaka built him a City.
Events! 4000 BC - 3500 BC!
4000 BC: Ulundi has been founded.
3850 BC: The villagers have provided you with a Scout!
3825 BC: You have discovered Animal Husbandry!
3825 BC: The borders of Ulundi have expanded!
3700 BC: You have discovered Mysticism
3600 BC: The villagers have taught you Writing!
3525 BC: The villagers have provided you with a map!
The world at 3500 BC:
Zulu Scout: Lord Shaka, we have explored the entire land!
Shaka: How did it look?
Zulu Scout: Yo man, like a .45! We gonna bust a cap in someone's ass fo sho!
Shaka: No, we will play nice and trade shinies with them so they will let us build a spaceship.
Zulu Scout: Then we'd really be high! He!ls Yeah! And I would be a space cadet!
Shaka: No drug references either!
----And then some stuff happened----
3475 BC: Hinduism founded in Ulundi. The Zulus believe in Polythor, patron god of Apolyton, and key in the practice of Polytheism.
3450 BC: Zulu warlords, upset at Shaka's imposing of the new religion, revolt against the teachings of DanQ and his minions.
3450 BC: DanQ silences the revolt utilizing shinies.
3350 BC: Zulu priests have discovered priesthood, proving that they, in fact, do exist.
3250 BC: Zulu shoremen begin eating creatures from the sea, Fishing has begun!
3125 BC: Fish loving seamen (not even going to touch that one) create the village of Fish Taco, so they may eat their fish without culinary persecution.
3025 BC: Fisherman rig bedsheets to their boats and discover they go faster with less rowing. They call this new mode of travel "Sailing."
The world at 3000 BC:
Let me know what you think so far, I'm going to keep playing and posting for a while, so if you're online comment now!