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So I don't have
to be the long-suffering wife or the belittled husband or the victim of my
relationships in order to render them holy, or to make me pleasing in the
eyes of God. Good
grief, of course not. And I don't
have to put up with attacks on my dignity, assaults on my pride, damage to
my psyche, and wounds to my heart in order to say that I "gave it my best"
in a relationship; "did my duty" or "met my obligation" in the eyes of God
and man. Not
for one minute.
Then, pray God, tell
me- what promises should I make in relationship; what agreements must I
keep? What obligations do relationships carry? What guidelines should I
seek? The
answer is the answer you cannot hear- for it leaves you without guidelines
and renders null and void every agreement in the moment you make it. The
answer is: you have no obligation. Neither in relationship, nor in
all of life. No obligation?
No
obligation.
Nor any restriction or limitation, nor any guidelines or rules. Nor are
you bound by any circumstances or situations, nor constrained by any code
or law. Nor are you punishable for any offense, nor capable of any-
for there is no such thing as being "offensive"
in the eyes of God. I've heard this
before- this "there are no rules" kind of religion. That's spiritual
anarchy. I don't see how that can work. There
is no way it cannot work- if you are about the business of creating
your Self. If, on the other hand, you imagine yourself to be about the
task of trying to be what someone else wants you to be, the absence
of rules or guidelines might indeed make things difficult.
Yet
the thinking mind begs to ask: if God has a way She wants me to be, why
didn't She simply create me that way to begin with? Why all this
struggle for me to "overcome" who I am in order for me to become what God
wants me to be? This the probing mind demands to know- and rightly so, for
it is a proper inquiry. The
religionists would have you believe that I created you as less than Who I
Am so that you could have the chance to become as Who I Am, working
against alI odds- and, I might add, against every natural tendency I am
supposed to have given you. Among
these so-called natural tendencies is the tendency to sin. You are taught
that you were born in sin, that you will die in sin, and
that to sin is your nature. One
of your religions even teaches you that you can do nothing about this.
Your own actions are irrelevant and meaningless. It is arrogant to
think that by some action of yours you can "get to heaven." There
is only one way to heaven (salvation) and that is through no
undertaking of your own, but through the grace granted you by God through
acceptance of His Son as your intermediary. Once
this is done you are "saved." Until it is done, nothing that you do- not
the life you live, not the choices you make, not anything you undertake of
your own will in an effort to improve yourself or render you worthy- has
any effect, bears any influence. You are incapable of rendering
yourself worthy, because you are inherently unworthy. You were created
that way. Why?
God only knows. Perhaps He made a mistake. Perhaps He didn't get it right.
Maybe He wishes He could have it all to do over again. But there it is.
What to do... You're making mock of
me. No.
You are making mock of Me. You are saying that I, God, made inherently
imperfect beings, then have demanded of them to be perfect, or face
damnation. You
are saying then that, somewhere several thousand years into the world's
experience, I relented, saying that from then on you didn't necessarily
have to be good, you simply had to feel bad when you were not being good,
and accept as your savior the One Being who could always be
perfect, thus satisfying My hunger for perfection. You are saying that My
Son- who you call the One Perfect One- has saved you from your own
imperfection- the imperfection I gave you. In
other words, God's Son has saved you from what His Father did.
This
is how you- many of you- say I've set it up. Now
who is mocking whom? That is the second time
in this book you seem to have launched a frontal attack on fundamentalist
Christianity. I am surprised. You
have chosen the word "attack." I am simply engaging the issue. And the
issue, by the way, is not "fundamentalist Christianity," as you put it. It
is the entire nature of God, and of God's relationship to man.
The
question comes up here because we were discussing the matter of
obligations- in relationships and in life itself. You
cannot believe in an obligation-less relationship because you cannot
accept who and what you really are. You call a life of complete freedom
"spiritual anarchy." I call it God's great promise. It
is only within the context of this promise that God's great plan can be
completed. You
have no obligation in relationship. You have only opportunity.
Opportunity,
not obligation, is the cornerstone of religion, the basis of all
spirituality. So long as you see it the other way around, you will have
missed the point. Relationship-
your relationship to all things- was created as your perfect tool in the
work of the soul. That is why all human relationships are sacred ground.
It is why every personal relationship is holy. In
this, many churches have it right. Marriage is a sacrament. But not
because of its sacred obligations. Rather, because of its unequalled
opportunity. Never
do anything in relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you
do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords
you to decide, and to be, Who You Really Are. I can hear that- yet
over and over in my relationships I have given up when the going gets
tough. The result is that I've had a string of relationships where I
thought, as a kid, that I'd have only one. I don't seem to know what it's
like to hold onto a relationship. Do you think I will ever learn? What do
I have to do to make it happen? You
make it sound as if holding onto a relationship means it's been a success.
Try not to confuse longevity with a job well done. Remember, your job on
the planet is not to see how long you can stay in relationship, it's to
decide, and experience, Who You Really Are. This
is not an argument for short-term relationships- yet neither is
there a requirement for long-term ones. Still,
while there is no such requirement, this much should be said: long-term
relationships do hold remarkable opportunities for mutual growth,
mutual expres- sion, and mutual fulfillment- and that has its
own reward. I know, I know! I mean,
I've always suspected that. So how do I get there? First,
make sure you get into a relationship for the right reasons. (I'm using
the word "right" here as a relative term. I mean "right" relative to the
larger purpose you hold in your life.) As
I have indicated before, most people still enter relationships for the
"wrong" reasons- to end loneliness, fill a gap, bring themselves love, or
someone to love- and those are some of the better reasons. Others do so to
salve their ego, end their depressions, improve their sex life, recover
from a previous relationship, or, believe it or not, to relieve boredom.
None
of these reasons will work, and unless something dramatic changes along
the way, neither will the relationship.
I didn't enter into my
relationships for any of those reasons. I
would challenge that. I don't think you know why you entered your
relationships. I don't think you thought about it in this way. I don't
think you entered your relationships purposefully. I think you entered
your relationships because you "fell in love." That's exactly right.
And
I don't think you stopped to look at why you "fell in love." What was it
to which you were responding? What need, or set of needs, was being
fulfilled? For
most people, love is a response to need fulfillment.
Everyone
has needs. You need this, another needs that. You both see in each other a
chance for need fulfillment. So you agree- tacitly- to a trade.
I'll trade you what I've got if you'll give me what you've got.
It's
a transaction. But you don't tell the truth about it. You don't say, "I
trade you very much." You say, "I love you very much," and then the
disappointment begins. You've made this point
before. Yes,
and you've done this thing before- not once, but several times.
Sometimes this book
seems to be going in circles, making the same points over and over again.
Sort
of like life. Touche.
The
process here is that you're asking the questions and I'm merely answering
them. If you ask the same question three different ways, I'm obliged to
continue answering it. Maybe I keep hoping
You'll come up with a different answer. You take a lot of the romance out
of it when I ask You about relationships. What's wrong with failing
head over heels in love without having to think about it?
Nothing.
Fall in love with as many people as you like that way. But if you're
going to form a lifelong relationship with them, you may want to add a
little thought. On
the other hand, if you enjoy going through relationships like water- or,
worse yet, staying in one because you think you "have to," then living a
life of quiet desperation- if you enjoy repeating these patterns from your
past, keep right on doing what you've been doing. Okay, okay. I get it.
Boy, You're relentless, aren't You? That's
the problem with truth. The truth is relentless. It won't leave you
alone. It keeps creeping up on you from every side, showing you what's
really so. That can be annoying. Okay. So I want to find
the tools for a long-term relationship- and you say entering relationships
purposefully is one of them. Yes.
Be sure you and your mate agree on purpose. If
you both agree at a conscious level that the purpose of your relationship
is to create an opportunity, not an obligation- an opportunity for growth,
for full Self expression, for lifting your lives to their highest
potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had
about you, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your
two souls- if you take that vow instead of the vows you've been taking-
the relationship has begun on a very good note. It's gotten off on the
right foot. That's a very good beginning.
Still, it's no
guarantee of success. If
you want guarantees in life, then you don't want life. You want
rehearsals for a script that's already been written.
Life
by its nature cannot have guarantees, or its whole purpose is
thwarted. Okay. Got it. So now
I've got my relationship off to this "very good start." Now, how do I keep
it going? Know
and understand that there will be challenges and difficult times.
Don't
try to avoid them. Welcome them. Gratefully. See them as grand gifts from
God; glorious opportunities to do what you came into the relationship- and
life- to do. Try
very hard not to see your partner as the enemy, or the opposition, during
these times. In
fact, seek to see no one, and nothing, as the enemy- or even the problem.
Cultivate the technique of seeing all problems as opportunities.
Opportunities to...
...I know, I know-
"be, and decide, Who You Really Are." Right!
You're getting it! You are getting it! Sounds like a pretty
dull life to me. Then
you're setting your sights too low. Broaden the scope of your horizons.
Extend the depth of your vision. See more in you than you think there is
to be seen. See more in your partner, too. You
will never disserve your relationship- nor anyone- by seeing more in
another than they are showing you. For there is more there. Much more. It
is only their fear that stops them from showing you. If others notice that
you see them as more, they will feel safe to show you what you obviously
already see. People tend to live up
to our expectations of them. Something
like that. I don't like the word "expectations" here. Expectations ruin
relationships. Let's say that people tend to see in themselves what we
see in them. The grander our vision, the grander their willingness to
access and display the part of them we have shown them.
Isn't
that how all truly blessed relationships work? Isn't that part of the
healing process- the process by which we give people permission to "let
go" of every false thought they've ever had about themselves?
lsn't
that what I am doing here, in this book, for you?
Yes.
And
that is the work of God. The work of the soul is to wake yourself up. The
work of God is to wake everybody else up. We do this by seeing
others as Who They Are- by reminding them of Who They Are.
This
you can do in two ways- by reminding them of Who They Are (very difficult,
because they will not believe you), and by remembering Who You Are (much
easier, because you do not need their belief, only your own).
Demonstrating this constantly ultimately reminds others of Who They Are,
for they will see themselves in you. Many
Masters have been sent to the Earth to demonstrate Eternal Truth. Others,
such as John the Baptist, have been sent as messengers, telling of the
Truth in glowing terms, speaking of God with unmistakable clarity.
These
special messengers have been gifted with extraordinary insight, and the
very special power to see and receive Eternal Truth, plus the ability to
communicate complex concepts in ways that can and will be understood by
the masses. You
are such a messenger. I am?
Yes.
Do you believe this? It is such a difficult
thing to accept. I mean, all of us want to be special ...
...all
of you are special... ...and the ego gets in
there- at least with me it does, and tries to make us feel somehow
"chosen" for an amazing assignment. I have to fight that ego all the time,
seek to purify and re-purify my every thought, word, and deed so as to
keep personal aggrandizement out of it. So it's very difficult to hear
what you're saying, because I'm aware that it plays to my ego, and I've
spent all my life fighting my ego. I
know
you have. And
sometimes not too successfully. I am chagrined to have
to agree. Yet
always when it has come to God, you have let the ego drop. Many is the
night you have begged and pleaded for clarity, beseeched the heavens for
insight, not so that you could enrich yourself, or heap honor upon
yourself, but out of the deep purity of a simple yearning to
know.
Yes.
And
you have promised Me, over and over again, that should you be caused to
know, you would spend the rest of your life- every waking moment- sharing
Eternal Truth with others ... not out of a need to gain glory, but out of
your heart's deepest desire to end the pain and suffering of others; to
bring joy and gladness, and help and healing; to reconnect others with the
sense of partnership with God you have always experienced.
Yes. Yes.
And
so I have chosen you to be My messenger. You, and many others. For now,
during these times immediately ahead, the world will need many trumpets to
sound the clarion call. The world will need many voices to speak the words
of truth and healing for which millions long. The world will need many
hearts joined together in the work of the soul, and prepared to do the
work of God. Can
you honestly claim that you are not aware of this? No.
Can
you honestly deny that this is why you came? No.
Are
you ready then, with this book, to decide and to declare your own Eternal
Truth, and to announce and articulate the glory of Mine?
Must I include these
last few exchanges in the book? You
don't have to do anything. Remember, in our relationship you
have no obligation. Only opportunity. Is this not the opportunity for
which you have waited all your life? Have you not devoted your Self to
this mission- and the proper preparation for it- from the earliest
moments of youth? Yes.
Then
do not what you are obliged to do, but what you have an opportunity to do.
As
to placing all this in our book, why would you not? Think you that I want
you to be a messenger in secret?
No, I suppose not.
It
takes great courage to announce oneself as a man of God. You understand,
the world will much more readily accept you as virtually anything else-
but a man of God? An actual messenger? Every one of My messengers
has been defiled. Far from gaining glory, they have gained nothing but
heartache. Are
you willing? Does your heart ache to tell the truth about Me? Are you
willing to endure the ridicule of your fellow human beings? Are you
prepared to give up glory on Earth for the greater glory of the
soul fully realized? You're making this all
sound suddenly pretty heavy, God. You
want I should kid you about it? Well, we could just
lighten up a little here. Hey,
I'm all for enlightenment! Why don't we end this chapter with a
joke? Good idea. You got
one? No,
but you do. Tell the one about the little girl drawing a picture...
Oh, yes, that one.
Okay. Well, a Mommy came into the kitchen one day to find her little girl
at the table, crayons everywhere, deeply concentrating on a freehand
picture she was creating. "My, what are you so busy drawing?" the Mommy
asked. "It's a picture of God, Mommy," the beautiful girl replied, eyes
shining. "Oh honey, that's so sweet," the Mommy said, trying to be
helpful. "But you know, no one really knows what God looks
like." "Well," chirped the
little girl, "if you'll just let me finish..."
That's
a beautiful little joke. Do you know what's most beautiful? The little
girl never doubted that she knew exactly how to draw Me!
Yes.
Now
I'll tell you a story, and with that we can end this chapter.
Alright.
There
once was a man who suddenly found himself spending hours each week writing
a book. Day after day he would race to pad and pen- sometimes in the
middle of the night- to capture each new inspiration. Finally, someone
asked him what he was up to. "Oh,"
he replied, 'I'm writing down a very long conversation I'm having with
God." "That's
very sweet," his friend indulged him, "but you know, no one really knows
for sure what God would say." "Well,"
the man grinned, "if you'll just let me finish." |
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