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Chapter 8 (continued)

So I don't have to be the long-suffering wife or the belittled husband or the victim of my relationships in order to render them holy, or to make me pleasing in the eyes of God.

Good grief, of course not.

And I don't have to put up with attacks on my dignity, assaults on my pride, damage to my psyche, and wounds to my heart in order to say that I "gave it my best" in a relationship; "did my duty" or "met my obligation" in the eyes of God and man.

Not for one minute.

Then, pray God, tell me- what promises should I make in relationship; what agreements must I keep? What obligations do relationships carry? What guidelines should I seek?

The answer is the answer you cannot hear- for it leaves you without guidelines and renders null and void every agreement in the moment you make it. The answer is: you have no obligation. Neither in relationship, nor in all of life.

No obligation?

No obligation. Nor any restriction or limitation, nor any guidelines or rules. Nor are you bound by any circumstances or situations, nor constrained by any code or law. Nor are you punishable for any offense, nor capable of any- for there is no such thing as being "offensive" in the eyes of God.

I've heard this before- this "there are no rules" kind of religion. That's spiritual anarchy. I don't see how that can work.

There is no way it cannot work- if you are about the business of creating your Self. If, on the other hand, you imagine yourself to be about the task of trying to be what someone else wants you to be, the absence of rules or guidelines might indeed make things difficult.

Yet the thinking mind begs to ask: if God has a way She wants me to be, why didn't She simply create me that way to begin with? Why all this struggle for me to "overcome" who I am in order for me to become what God wants me to be? This the probing mind demands to know- and rightly so, for it is a proper inquiry.

The religionists would have you believe that I created you as less than Who I Am so that you could have the chance to become as Who I Am, working against alI odds- and, I might add, against every natural tendency I am supposed to have given you.

Among these so-called natural tendencies is the tendency to sin. You are taught that you were born in sin, that you will die in sin, and that to sin is your nature.

One of your religions even teaches you that you can do nothing about this. Your own actions are irrelevant and meaningless. It is arrogant to think that by some action of yours you can "get to heaven." There is only one way to heaven (salvation) and that is through no undertaking of your own, but through the grace granted you by God through acceptance of His Son as your intermediary.

Once this is done you are "saved." Until it is done, nothing that you do- not the life you live, not the choices you make, not anything you undertake of your own will in an effort to improve yourself or render you worthy- has any effect, bears any influence. You are incapable of rendering yourself worthy, because you are inherently unworthy. You were created that way.

Why? God only knows. Perhaps He made a mistake. Perhaps He didn't get it right. Maybe He wishes He could have it all to do over again. But there it is. What to do...

You're making mock of me.

No. You are making mock of Me. You are saying that I, God, made inherently imperfect beings, then have demanded of them to be perfect, or face damnation.

You are saying then that, somewhere several thousand years into the world's experience, I relented, saying that from then on you didn't necessarily have to be good, you simply had to feel bad when you were not being good, and accept as your savior the One Being who could always be perfect, thus satisfying My hunger for perfection. You are saying that My Son- who you call the One Perfect One- has saved you from your own imperfection- the imperfection I gave you.

In other words, God's Son has saved you from what His Father did.

This is how you- many of you- say I've set it up.

Now who is mocking whom?

That is the second time in this book you seem to have launched a frontal attack on fundamentalist Christianity. I am surprised.

You have chosen the word "attack." I am simply engaging the issue. And the issue, by the way, is not "fundamentalist Christianity," as you put it. It is the entire nature of God, and of God's relationship to man.

The question comes up here because we were discussing the matter of obligations- in relationships and in life itself.

You cannot believe in an obligation-less relationship because you cannot accept who and what you really are. You call a life of complete freedom "spiritual anarchy." I call it God's great promise.

It is only within the context of this promise that God's great plan can be completed.

You have no obligation in relationship. You have only opportunity.

Opportunity, not obligation, is the cornerstone of religion, the basis of all spirituality. So long as you see it the other way around, you will have missed the point.

Relationship- your relationship to all things- was created as your perfect tool in the work of the soul. That is why all human relationships are sacred ground. It is why every personal relationship is holy.

In this, many churches have it right. Marriage is a sacrament. But not because of its sacred obligations. Rather, because of its unequalled opportunity.

Never do anything in relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords you to decide, and to be, Who You Really Are.

I can hear that- yet over and over in my relationships I have given up when the going gets tough. The result is that I've had a string of relationships where I thought, as a kid, that I'd have only one. I don't seem to know what it's like to hold onto a relationship. Do you think I will ever learn? What do I have to do to make it happen?

You make it sound as if holding onto a relationship means it's been a success. Try not to confuse longevity with a job well done. Remember, your job on the planet is not to see how long you can stay in relationship, it's to decide, and experience, Who You Really Are.

This is not an argument for short-term relationships- yet neither is there a requirement for long-term ones.

Still, while there is no such requirement, this much should be said: long-term relationships do hold remarkable opportunities for mutual growth, mutual expres- sion, and mutual fulfillment- and that has its own reward.

I know, I know! I mean, I've always suspected that. So how do I get there?

First, make sure you get into a relationship for the right reasons. (I'm using the word "right" here as a relative term. I mean "right" relative to the larger purpose you hold in your life.)

As I have indicated before, most people still enter relationships for the "wrong" reasons- to end loneliness, fill a gap, bring themselves love, or someone to love- and those are some of the better reasons. Others do so to salve their ego, end their depressions, improve their sex life, recover from a previous relationship, or, believe it or not, to relieve boredom.

None of these reasons will work, and unless something dramatic changes along the way, neither will the relationship.

I didn't enter into my relationships for any of those reasons.

I would challenge that. I don't think you know why you entered your relationships. I don't think you thought about it in this way. I don't think you entered your relationships purposefully. I think you entered your relationships because you "fell in love."

That's exactly right.

And I don't think you stopped to look at why you "fell in love." What was it to which you were responding? What need, or set of needs, was being fulfilled?

For most people, love is a response to need fulfillment.

Everyone has needs. You need this, another needs that. You both see in each other a chance for need fulfillment. So you agree- tacitly- to a trade. I'll trade you what I've got if you'll give me what you've got.

It's a transaction. But you don't tell the truth about it. You don't say, "I trade you very much." You say, "I love you very much," and then the disappointment begins.

You've made this point before.

Yes, and you've done this thing before- not once, but several times.

Sometimes this book seems to be going in circles, making the same points over and over again.

Sort of like life.

Touche.

The process here is that you're asking the questions and I'm merely answering them. If you ask the same question three different ways, I'm obliged to continue answering it.

Maybe I keep hoping You'll come up with a different answer. You take a lot of the romance out of it when I ask You about relationships. What's wrong with failing head over heels in love without having to think about it?

Nothing. Fall in love with as many people as you like that way. But if you're going to form a lifelong relationship with them, you may want to add a little thought.

On the other hand, if you enjoy going through relationships like water- or, worse yet, staying in one because you think you "have to," then living a life of quiet desperation- if you enjoy repeating these patterns from your past, keep right on doing what you've been doing.

Okay, okay. I get it. Boy, You're relentless, aren't You?

That's the problem with truth. The truth is relentless. It won't leave you alone. It keeps creeping up on you from every side, showing you what's really so. That can be annoying.

Okay. So I want to find the tools for a long-term relationship- and you say entering relationships purposefully is one of them.

Yes. Be sure you and your mate agree on purpose.

If you both agree at a conscious level that the purpose of your relationship is to create an opportunity, not an obligation- an opportunity for growth, for full Self expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about you, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your two souls- if you take that vow instead of the vows you've been taking- the relationship has begun on a very good note. It's gotten off on the right foot. That's a very good beginning.

Still, it's no guarantee of success.

If you want guarantees in life, then you don't want life. You want rehearsals for a script that's already been written.

Life by its nature cannot have guarantees, or its whole purpose is thwarted.

Okay. Got it. So now I've got my relationship off to this "very good start." Now, how do I keep it going?

Know and understand that there will be challenges and difficult times.

Don't try to avoid them. Welcome them. Gratefully. See them as grand gifts from God; glorious opportunities to do what you came into the relationship- and life- to do.

Try very hard not to see your partner as the enemy, or the opposition, during these times.

In fact, seek to see no one, and nothing, as the enemy- or even the problem. Cultivate the technique of seeing all problems as opportunities. Opportunities to...

...I know, I know- "be, and decide, Who You Really Are."

Right! You're getting it! You are getting it!

Sounds like a pretty dull life to me.

Then you're setting your sights too low. Broaden the scope of your horizons. Extend the depth of your vision. See more in you than you think there is to be seen. See more in your partner, too.

You will never disserve your relationship- nor anyone- by seeing more in another than they are showing you. For there is more there. Much more. It is only their fear that stops them from showing you. If others notice that you see them as more, they will feel safe to show you what you obviously already see.

People tend to live up to our expectations of them.

Something like that. I don't like the word "expectations" here. Expectations ruin relationships. Let's say that people tend to see in themselves what we see in them. The grander our vision, the grander their willingness to access and display the part of them we have shown them.

Isn't that how all truly blessed relationships work? Isn't that part of the healing process- the process by which we give people permission to "let go" of every false thought they've ever had about themselves?

lsn't that what I am doing here, in this book, for you?

Yes.

And that is the work of God. The work of the soul is to wake yourself up. The work of God is to wake everybody else up.

We do this by seeing others as Who They Are- by reminding them of Who They Are.

This you can do in two ways- by reminding them of Who They Are (very difficult, because they will not believe you), and by remembering Who You Are (much easier, because you do not need their belief, only your own). Demonstrating this constantly ultimately reminds others of Who They Are, for they will see themselves in you.

Many Masters have been sent to the Earth to demonstrate Eternal Truth. Others, such as John the Baptist, have been sent as messengers, telling of the Truth in glowing terms, speaking of God with unmistakable clarity.

These special messengers have been gifted with extraordinary insight, and the very special power to see and receive Eternal Truth, plus the ability to communicate complex concepts in ways that can and will be understood by the masses.

You are such a messenger.

I am?

Yes. Do you believe this?

It is such a difficult thing to accept. I mean, all of us want to be special ...

...all of you are special...

...and the ego gets in there- at least with me it does, and tries to make us feel somehow "chosen" for an amazing assignment. I have to fight that ego all the time, seek to purify and re-purify my every thought, word, and deed so as to keep personal aggrandizement out of it. So it's very difficult to hear what you're saying, because I'm aware that it plays to my ego, and I've spent all my life fighting my ego.

I know you have.

And sometimes not too successfully.

I am chagrined to have to agree.

Yet always when it has come to God, you have let the ego drop. Many is the night you have begged and pleaded for clarity, beseeched the heavens for insight, not so that you could enrich yourself, or heap honor upon yourself, but out of the deep purity of a simple yearning to know.

Yes.

And you have promised Me, over and over again, that should you be caused to know, you would spend the rest of your life- every waking moment- sharing Eternal Truth with others ... not out of a need to gain glory, but out of your heart's deepest desire to end the pain and suffering of others; to bring joy and gladness, and help and healing; to reconnect others with the sense of partnership with God you have always experienced.

Yes. Yes.

And so I have chosen you to be My messenger. You, and many others. For now, during these times immediately ahead, the world will need many trumpets to sound the clarion call. The world will need many voices to speak the words of truth and healing for which millions long. The world will need many hearts joined together in the work of the soul, and prepared to do the work of God.

Can you honestly claim that you are not aware of this?

No.

Can you honestly deny that this is why you came?

No.

Are you ready then, with this book, to decide and to declare your own Eternal Truth, and to announce and articulate the glory of Mine?

Must I include these last few exchanges in the book?

You don't have to do anything. Remember, in our relationship you have no obligation. Only opportunity. Is this not the opportunity for which you have waited all your life? Have you not devoted your Self to this mission- and the proper preparation for it- from the earliest moments of youth?

Yes.

Then do not what you are obliged to do, but what you have an opportunity to do.

As to placing all this in our book, why would you not? Think you that I want you to be a messenger in secret?

No, I suppose not.

It takes great courage to announce oneself as a man of God. You understand, the world will much more readily accept you as virtually anything else- but a man of God? An actual messenger? Every one of My messengers has been defiled. Far from gaining glory, they have gained nothing but heartache.

Are you willing? Does your heart ache to tell the truth about Me? Are you willing to endure the ridicule of your fellow human beings? Are you prepared to give up glory on Earth for the greater glory of the soul fully realized?

You're making this all sound suddenly pretty heavy, God.

You want I should kid you about it?

Well, we could just lighten up a little here.

Hey, I'm all for enlightenment! Why don't we end this chapter with a joke?

Good idea. You got one?

No, but you do. Tell the one about the little girl drawing a picture...

Oh, yes, that one. Okay. Well, a Mommy came into the kitchen one day to find her little girl at the table, crayons everywhere, deeply concentrating on a freehand picture she was creating. "My, what are you so busy drawing?" the Mommy asked. "It's a picture of God, Mommy," the beautiful girl replied, eyes shining. "Oh honey, that's so sweet," the Mommy said, trying to be helpful. "But you know, no one really knows what God looks like."

"Well," chirped the little girl, "if you'll just let me finish..."

That's a beautiful little joke. Do you know what's most beautiful? The little girl never doubted that she knew exactly how to draw Me!

Yes.

Now I'll tell you a story, and with that we can end this chapter.

Alright.

There once was a man who suddenly found himself spending hours each week writing a book. Day after day he would race to pad and pen- sometimes in the middle of the night- to capture each new inspiration. Finally, someone asked him what he was up to.

"Oh," he replied, 'I'm writing down a very long conversation I'm having with God."

"That's very sweet," his friend indulged him, "but you know, no one really knows for sure what God would say."

"Well," the man grinned, "if you'll just let me finish."
 

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