Written by me. Inspired by AnnC. Read by you. Banned by Ming. (Well, not really. At least I hope so.) 

Secret Diary of AnnC (Any relation husband and children have to real people is purely coincidental.) 

Apr 14th - Whew! At last we managed to unload all of our packages from van. Michael is currently refitting the carpets to our new house, while Mike Jr., Karsten and Kitty are playing in the yard. Oh, how I love my little children! What I don't love, though, dear diary, are uptight people, like our former neighbours. What unpleasant people! I wonder how control freaks like that can get on with their lives. 

Apr 16th - Well, dear diary, it doesn't look like much improvement. I and Mike Jr. were on a bus, on our way to shop for groceries, and some control nazi complained to us. Is it really his business, dear diary, to question warm and loving relationship between me and my children? Oh, how some fascists can get miffed by smallest things, like breast-feeding an 11-year-old! I know, though, that in the end, I and my children will have better relations because of it. 

Oh well. Looks like it's better to start the practices again with the children. 

Apr 19th - Good start for practices, dear diary! That copy of Anarchist's Cookbook I downloaded from the Net sure came to good use. Kitty can make bombs like a real pro, and there is one traffic light less to prove it! (I hate traffic lights, dear diary. Those meddlesome things our government uses to interfere me with are just proof of how the society has got more and more unwelcoming.) After the practises, I gave my children paintball guns and let them shoot around the house with them. I believe to freedom in raising my children. They can choose whether they shoot cupboard, toilet can or Michael's bed. 

Apr 20th - Oh, how typical! Michael found out I had restarted the practices and dared to complain about it. That man o' mine can sure be like those uptight people, sometimes! He doesn't believe in freedom like I do, that's for sure. Oh well, I'll just have to manage - I'm a freewheeling person who doesn't care about small things, dear diary. 

Apr 22th - Again, dear diary, I just can't understand how empty lives of some people must be. One elderly man dared to complain about Karsten's purple Mohawk and pink brassiere! I, naturally, called him a fascist, Mussolini clone and SS-Stormtrooper, while my children greeted him with resounding Sieg Heil. Just like I had taught them! I sure gave him a good scare! 

Apr 24th - I was feeling pretty mischievous today, so I made little Kitty dress up as me! I then instructed him to imitate me, bellowing out phrases like "I'm AnnC, the biggest ***** in this house". This just goes to prove what a lover of liberty I am, dear diary. Could a parent of a house filled with national socialists go through mockery like this? Of course, should little Kitty do something like this on her own, I would be very sad indeed, as it would just go to prove that fascism has started to affect her. 

Apr 27th - You'll never believe this, dear diary! This couple next door, who look like very boring people, came to me and said my lawn was getting too tall for it's own good! Whatever people do, dear diary, my lawn is something that is not to be criticized. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill! Why do small details like this so infuriate the little Hitlers of the world? Oh well, time for me and my children to respond. Michael, as usual, disapproved. Well, tough noogies, hubby! I have my ways of dealing with problems, and I'll use them. 

Apr 30th - Little Karsten sure has a good aim! The front window of those neighbourhood nazis is starting to look like an omelette, for all the eggs my precious children have thrown at it. Not the back window, of course, since I need it for my studies. My drawings of the husband of the family are starting to get ready. 

Jun 2th - Me and my children had a good conversation. Karsten went back on his old routine, telling a joke about little Mike having sex with sheep. It is a good joke, we all laughed at it, and it doesn't bother me at all that the joke is "Mike has sex with sheep" and is only joke he knows. Then Kitty and I played word association. I think that he has associated the word "teletubby" with "neighbour" 54 times before. That doesn't matter! It still is an interesting comparison to make. Michael, as usual, tried to start a conversation about newest decisions president Bush has made, but we howled and throwed tomatoes at him until he retreated behind the door. 

Jun 5th - I dropped off at police office, which I disapprove of on general basis as another extension of police state, to complain about lawnuar harassment those two berstrmfhrers next door had committed, and as I was starting to leave, I heard someone complaining - can you believe this, diary? - about me! Apparently, she disapproved of how I raised my children and called my home "hotbed of anarchy and terrorism that had befell our neighbourhood." What nerve! What uptightness! Our house takes care of it's own business and nothing else! Why, we've been barely noticeable! Ooh, if I wasn't so involved with showing those Wermacht soldiers, I would have given him a piece of my mind. 

Jun 7th - What a group of Teletubbies! Last night, Karsten and Kitty installed a banner reading "WELCOME TO THE GREATER REICH OF THIS HOUSE" on top of their building, and they still haven't dared to take it off! Maybe they are proud of their apparent national socialism, those Il Duce clones, those. 

Jun 10th - Ah! My exact replicas of costumes those people are wearing just were finished. When Karsten and Mike wore those little suits, with dash of make-up applied, they looked just like that 'man' next door. And they sounded just like him, too, when I sent them to sell porn and crack to children of local playground. Let's see if anyone likes those two after this! 

Jun 13th - Michael is becoming more and more intolerable. This time, he came to me and said that I was far too pre-occupied with that couple next door. Pre-occupied! Me! I care about nothing than our house. Those Gestapo agents mean nothing to me. Just a trifle presence. Dear diary, would you say that I care about anything more or less than safety of our house? I thought so, I thought so. I swear, one more crack like that from my control freak husband and... 

Jun 16th - Some people were apparently visiting those fascists. Idea that some innocent people would be influenced by those neighbourtubbies is intolerable, so I decided to drop a visit myself. I silenced the master (Master Racist, I would say!) of the forum with string of obscenities, which you probably can't use in house like this, and then presented what I thought to be a thoughtful case of why they should visit my house of freedom and liberty instead. I wonder why they turned me down? I guess that some totalitarians just can't be cured. That couple finally kicked me out, after some time. What nerve! Kicking people out is definitely not freedom. IT IS NOT FREEDOM! Another mark of their Stalinism, methinks. 

Jun 20th - Well, dear diary, I guess this is it. Michael flat out said that I was wrong and I was the reason of all the trouble my household has been going through. He's became another one of tyrannic brigade, in other words. I showed him the door, of course. He can't come back to this house, and that's final. This house is house of liberty, not house of dictatorshiplike attitudes. Oh well, diary, I guess it is just me and my children now, caring about our house, living in freedom, and generally not caring about lives of others, unlike some Franconistas I could name around here.
