Overall comment: Some of the best short stories have a sudden twist that turns everything on its head. The story unfolds and then, without warning, a single event occurs that isn't what it seems. Argonaut's short story is a 'Surprise' story, and a good one at that.
Creativity - I've always wondered why a cowed Submissive turns and stabs you in the back. Argo's story nicely explains this, since Miriam, in her folly, allowed her submissives their power back and then foolishly thought she could control it by sheer force of will. These submissives are not, however, loyal lap dogs, oh no. With their power they throw off the Believer yoke, and through treachery and deceit take back their power and more besides. This was an elegant explanation of the betrayal of a submissive toward their former master, and a warning against letting a submissive have too long a leash - and becoming too complacent. Rating: 8
Originality - The perpetual faction leaders were always a little troublesome since I've wondered if the factions were more than their leaders. In Argo's story we find that this isn't true, since Believer society carries on even after Miriam is dead. This indicates that the factions are more societies and that the faction leaders are the embodiment of their societies beliefs. Moreover, a change in leadership might nicely explain changes in social engineering. While not explicitly stated in Argo's story, it was implied that the newly installed Believer leader would be more pliable than the old. This would explain shifts in SE without making the faction leader seem to be weak or vacillating, especially for a leader like Miriam who is known for being difficult and intransient. Rating: 7
SMAC-ness - The setting of this story was wholly believable: a faction (UoP) that is failing and is at the cusp of destruction under the combined weight of a supposedly weak foe. The negotiations showed the open horse-trading that would occur when the terms of ending hostilities were discussed. I liked the situation where Miriam demands bases with the veiled threat behind it, which mirrors the dialog in the SMAC diplomacy screen between a master and a submissive without repeating it verbatim. That was true to form without being too overt. Rating: 8
Leader's Representation - Argo's story shines here. First we see a penitent Zak who realizes the folly of his recent decisions and tries to salvage what he can. I can feel the bile rise in his throat when he has to kiss Miriam's hand, since this little display of power says more about their situation and their new relationship than the nearby enforcer Believer, Angel, and Spartan armies. Second we see a beneficent Miriam, with her charm turned on full bore. She is almost gentle and quite condescending, but still has a defined arrogance about her. Her bearing says 'I am in charge, and you are my supplicant.' Until the very end the other characters, representatives from Morgan, Data Angels, and Spartans, are mere ciphers. The Morgan representative is simple window dressing and seemingly has the contempt of everyone at the diplomatic meeting. Then Miriam is assassinated and everything changes. The final scene tips the cards - Rose and Santiago are really running the show. Both are ruthless and in one stroke have sealed the fate of the UoP, and then the Believers, too. These actions, and reactions, are in perfect accord with how I see these leaders behaving in these circumstances. Well done! Rating: 9
Plot - In the beginning and middle it is quite clear what is happening: Zak is begging not to be exterminated at the price of being one of Miriam's loyal servants. All goes according to plan, until the 'Surprise' at the end. I happen to like Surprise endings, especially when the make sense in retrospect and are in keeping with SMAC and the faction leader's character. Rating: 9
Overall rating: 41/50