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The World Cup Excellent Adventure!!

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  • The World Cup Excellent Adventure!!

    It was a bright sunny afternoon, and crowds were filtering around outside the stadium. The birds were chirping and fans chanting (very badly, might I add.. the sake must have gotten to them). It was a great day for soccer (My thread, soccer it is!). Among the throng there were two distinctly repulsive creatures. They belonged to a group universally hated throughout the group. Yes, they were two Apolytoners. More specificially, Imran and Sirotnikov, two of the most repulsive. They were walking towards the stadium with tickets in hand.

    Siro: So who are we going to see?

    Imran: Beats me.

    As Siro walked close to the stadium. He seemed to get a strange sensation. A man in a green jersey walked by. On the other side a man in a white jersey pushed through. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it irked him. When they got into the stadium and saw the flags, he suddenly got it.

    Siro: This is Germany v. Saudi Arabia!!

    Imran: So, it is. But I think it'll be a poor game. I predict 8-0 Germany (look, I'm a prophet -Im ).

    Siro: NO! You don't get it! GERMANY AND SAUDI ARABIA!

    Imran: Yes.. and...

    Siro: WHO AM I GOING TO ROOT FOR?

    Imran: Well you could... oh wait, right. Whoops! Well you could hope both of them lose.

    Siro: They are both playing against each other! And you already know Germany is going to win!

    Imran: Well, yes, I do know my soccer... hehe.

    Siro: No, you idiot, this match has already been played when you are writing this stupid story.

    Imran: Shhh... what, you want to blow my cover. I already have a book deal?

    Siro: Ah what?

    Imran: Yes, on how Israel ends in 2005..

    Siro:

    Imran: Just root for Germany like me

    Siro: *mutters* Nazi

    Imran: What?

    Siro: Nothing... shouldn't you be backing Saudi Arabia... you know, Muslim Brotherhood?

    Imran is stuffing himself with a Bacon-Lettuce-Tomato Sandwich, drinking a beer, and looking at a Japanese Porn Magazine...

    Imran: Wha?

    Siro: Nevermind.

    Imran: Um.... so where is MtG?

    Siro: Who?

    Imran: You know, moderator type.

    Siro: Oh right! I don't know, but I got a tape in a letter from him.

    Sirotnikov pulled out an old battered envelop and slid a tape out of it. He placed in the convieniently located tape player (which just happened to be in Imran's hands).

    bzzzt... Siro, Imran, this is MtG, and I'm over the border.

    Imran: Yeah, we know... he's a Mexican.. does he hav..

    Siro: He means North Korea.

    Imran: Oh... right. I knew that.

    I'm trying to attack one of the members of the Axis of Evil pursuant to my orders. Unfortunetly GP has not arrived. Last I heard he got drunk in Australia and forgot where he put his submarine.

    Imran: Heh, he sure knows how to party..

    Siro: Shhh, this seems to be the best part.

    Imran: How do you know?

    Siro: The dramatic music.

    Imran: Ah...

    I've ran into some resistance. Chegitz Guevara and his Commie hoard have pinned me back. General Dalgetti ambushed me. I killed 90% of his forces, but had to retreat a little...

    Imran: Wow, he's like Rambo!

    Siro: I wish I had a banning stick. I never liked that Dalgetti!

    Imran: Oh?

    Siro: Yeah, he keeps saying he has sexual feelings for Arafat when he's drunk.

    Imran: ...

    I've uncovered a plot. The Commies are working with the Greeks to disrupt the World Cup. They plan to do something to the Turkish side in this tourney. MarkG and his Macedonian Guard led by paiktis are moving in already..

    Imran: Why would Markos name his secret force after another country?

    Siro: Maybe he has country envy?

    Imran: That must be it.

    ... you have to find out where the Greeks are and stop them from disrupting the Turkish matches. Mainly because I like to see the damn Greeks squirm. MtG out... bzzzt

    Siro: Well, we know what to do!

    Imran: Watch the match?

    Siro: NO! Go look for the Greeks!

    Imran: Ah, after the match!

    Siro: Now!

    Imran: But...

    Siro: You already know what is going to happen!

    Imran: But... oookay .

    (continued)
    Last edited by Imran Siddiqui; June 14, 2002, 21:09.
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

  • #2
    Siro: First we have to foil the Greek plot.

    Imran: (jockingly) What? The Greeks have no land plots in S. Korea. And why would we wrap it in tin foil? We intend to cook them?

    Siro: (raises eyebrow) ….Here, have an eyebrow!

    Imran: Eww! Don't go picking up random body parts from the floor.

    Siro: Sorry, old habbits die hard.

    Imran: (scared) Sure… now let's go to the stadium where the next Turkish game will be held.

    * They arrive to the stadium *

    Siro: Let's enter it.

    Imran: Duh.

    * They enter the stadium *

    Imran: Hey, here's Ming! What's he doing there?

    Siro: It seems as if he is being tested for something by that group of FIFA officials.

    (an Imran cut in)

    Judge: Ok, Mr.... um... Ming, welcome to referee try outs. Show us what you know.

    Ming: Ok...

    Play goes on for a bit, both sides moving up and down the pitch, when suddenly a whistle goes off for no apparent reason.

    Ming: Ok, that's Par. Next hole.

    The players turn and stare.

    Player: What?

    Ming: I said, next hole!!

    Judge: We'll call you.

    Ming: Really?

    Judge: …erm…. Yeah.

    (an Imran cut out)

    Imran: Lol! That's simply funny.

    Siro: At least he's trying.

    Imran: Wait… why all of a sudden would Ming show interest in soccer?

    Siro: You're right. The orders probably came from above!

    Imran: Ming isn't a religious fundamentalist…

    Siro: I meant MarkG.

    Imran: Come on, MarkG doesn't exist. There's no logical proof that he does! Ask PH!

    Siro: Imran, stop.

    Imran: Ok, sorry. Just playing wit' ya…

    Siro: Speaking of PH… What are he and Paiktis up to?

    Imran: Drinking alcohol?

    Siro: No, I mean right now – there near the showers and locker rooms!

    Imran: Hmm… PH and Paiktis taking a shower? Impossible! Let's take a look!

    PH (to Paiktis) : Here, you take the itching powder and put in the Turkish socks.

    Paiktis: (evil laugh)

    PH: Stop that. And what are you doing with that? Eww, put it down!

    Paiktis: Well, I thought that it would be nice to put there some maggots too…

    PH: No, you put the maggots in their trousers.

    Paiktis: What would I do without you?

    PH: That's right. How would you shave your back?

    Paiktis: Har dee harhar. Would you like some maggots with that?

    PH: Nope, doing just fine, thanks. (notices two characters observing them) Hey! Who is that?

    Siro: I think we are the ones who should ask that question!

    Imran: But we already know the answer – it's Paiktis and PH.

    Siro: Right.

    Paiktis: No peeking! I'm undressed!

    Siro: Quick, Imran, start a discussion about capitalism and American foreign policy. While they're busy arguing with you, I'll attack them from behind!

    Imran: What are you, a turk?

    Siro: Not that way!

    Imran: (to PH and Paiktis) You know, I always felt that capitalism is the best system. It makes everyone, including the poor, richer. It lifts all boats. Just look at history. And American Foreign Policy is to spread the greatness of Capitalism to all…
    (that was an Imran cut in TM)

    Siro quickly jumps in the locker room, by chance missing the pointy end of a sharp spear placed there for no obvious reason.

    Siro: (to himself) "Damn Civilization III fanatics"

    Siro quickly removes the itching powder and cleans the maggots out of the Turkish uniforms.

    Imran: …and that's why America is the greatest country on earth (TM)

    Siro: Ok, we can go now.

    Siro and Imran walk away as PH and Paiktis can be heard making a list of American wrongdoings starting from 4000BC.

    Imran: Wait… America didn't exist back then.

    Siro: But it's a Civlization forum.

    Imran: Oh yeah, go on.

    * After a while *

    Imran: You know, my back is itching. It's probably because it's so hot here.

    Siro: (grins)

    Imran: Oh yeah, thanks for scratching that. Oooh Yeaaah, right there. No! Higher! Higher you perv!

    Siro: (grining) I'm not touching you.

    Imran: Wha… Erm… Where did you put the itching powder and maggots?

    Siro rushes to finish the second chapter.

    Imran: You just wait!!!!!! Damn Jew!!!!

    (to be continued)
    Last edited by Sirotnikov; June 14, 2002, 22:00.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thump-ti bump-ti

      Comment


      • #4
        ROFLMAO!!!!
        "I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer

        "I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand

        Comment


        • #5
          maybe you'll end up running into echthelion at the game...



          awesome!

          Comment


          • #6
            Finally some fun in OT
            "The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
            "Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.

            Comment


            • #7
              WE WANT PART THREE!!

              Comment


              • #8
                You newbies! You don't have to wait for third chapter - write it yourself! That's the spirit of Excellent Adventures!
                "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
                "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

                Comment


                • #9
                  Exactly right, Stefu (ugh, I'll have to clean out my mouth after that).

                  Anyway, I'll give you a little more to go on, and then you can help write some more (I don't want to simply talk to Siro... he smells you know).

                  --

                  After Imran tracked down Siro and kicked him in the side and didn't stop until Siro renounced all Israeli claims in the Middle East (with his fingers uncrossed, as Imran made sure), they went to try to find out the next piece of the puzzle.

                  It was June 3rd, and Brazil was facing Turkey (2-1 Brazil, btw).

                  Imran and Siro were on the lookout for people looking much hairier than average humans or wearing much too much red. Of course they ran into a roadblock when Imran realized the Turkish uniforms were red.

                  Imran: You know, they couldn't make it easy for us.

                  Siro: Damn Commies! Just like in 1917!

                  Imran: Yah! Er.. what?

                  Siro: Well... they sucked back then too?

                  Imran: Ah, yes. I guess you are right.

                  Siro: So, we are consigned to finding hairy people.

                  Imran: Yes... unfortunetly I don't see... WAIT!

                  Siro: What? A cute Israeli chick wearing leather?

                  Imran: NO... wait, what?

                  Siro: Nevermind.

                  Imran: No, a superhairy man. If I didn't look hard enough, I'd say it was a monkey.

                  Siro: *gasp* It must be....

                  Imran: Yes?

                  Siro: MarkG!!

                  Imran: You know he doesn't exist! Like I said, he's just in our computers.

                  Siro:

                  Imran: Ok, ok, we'll check it out.

                  Imran and Siro went around the corner to see what the hairy man was up too...

                  (go on... write something. Yes, you. It ain't that hard. Everyone else might say you have no sense of humor, but we morons will surely find something you say to have a little redeeming value.)
                  “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                  - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Suddenly, something completely unrelated happened.
                    "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
                    "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Come on, Stefu, you have absolutely no sense of humour!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Come on, Stefu, you have absolutely no sense of humour!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          (Third time is a charm)

                          Come on, Stefu, you have absolutely no sense of humour!



                          (notice how I subtly turn my DP into a joke)
                          (with an emphasis on 'subtly')

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You consider that a joke?! Bah!

                            though now it seems like more people read this and maybe more people will come to say hello *crosses fingers*... or maybe not.
                            “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                            - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              So should we help these poor people and post a third episode?

                              Or wait and watch them squirm?

                              Anyway, why ain't you on ICQ ?

                              Comment

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