A Debate in the U.N.

Metaliturtle · April 27, 2002, 02:26

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is Iam Zippy, bringing you the first nonsense debate of this year's U.N. General Assembly, the winner, of course, will be the undisputed leader of the world.

Our debate topic: The Deliciousness of Pie

Our first question on this topic comes from Shaka of Zululand, and it is directed at Abe of America, Abe, do you think that pie is delicious? If yes, why? If no, why not?

Abe: Of course pie is delicious, it has to be, because nothing's as American as apple pie, and nothing's as delicious as a tasty American (pause) Pie!

Splendid answer, Shaka, your rebuttal?

Shaka: Although we've heard that pie saying before, you still haven't answered the question, do YOU think pie is delicious?

Abe: Of course

Shaka: Thank you.

Our second question is one of Mr. Lincoln's as he answered the first one, and his name was also drawn at random. It reads "Alexander, in terms of pie, deliciousness, yes or no?

Alexander: Yes, in terms of pie, I must support yes to deliciousness.

Our third question comes from Queen Elizabeth, it reads: All, when ranking the following, which would be first out of, Pie, Pie, and Pie?

Abe: I must say the second option, "Pie," is the most appealing

Shaka: Pie!

Alexander: Number three is satisfactory for me.

Hold on, I'm getting an emergency briefing from the overpopulation commitee, we must go into general assembly.

*28 minutes later

'The honorable delegate from Iraq is acknowledged'

"Iraq proposes an ammendment to the resolution, we would like to add a third clause, to be named 'Operation: Condom Drop,' and would entail the paradropping of over 30,000,000 condoms onto underpriveleged, uneducated, third world, nations."

Thank God those negotiations didn't go on longer, I'm glad that condom thing killed the whole resolution for this period. Anyways, once again this is Iam Zippy, with the debate that will decide who the ruler of the world is. Right now there is a tie with all contestants but Elizabeth who had yet to be asked a question.

This question comes from our audience, it reads, Alexander, why can you spend a half hour debating condoms instead of helping Grecian expansion

Alexander: You obviously missed your pie, one will be delivered to you instantly.

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This story based on Model U.N. The coolest club, Civ 3 element is the sec. gen. and char names, (besides Iam Zippy) What'd yall think of it, the debate will continue, but should the U N have the power to change the subject, It's up to you.

civman2000 · April 27, 2002, 08:34

strange....but thats you

Ninot · April 27, 2002, 11:29

just my favorite brand of humor! excelent.

cmon, continue! we must resolve this pie issue. Ask Abe again.

Metaliturtle · April 27, 2002, 12:09

Welcome back folks, Iam Zippy again, if you haven't been viewing, this is the debate to end all debates, the debate to gain control of these United Nations, and the debate to gain control of the world.

Now one of Alexander's questions, this one reads as follows; Shaka, what is your stance on pie? Delicious, or Delicious?

Shaka: Both

Do you have a rebuttal Alexander?

Alexander: Yes; If you had to pick Shaka, pick ONE

Shaka: fine...um......um.......DELICIOUS

Hahaha wasn't that fun? Next we need someone in our legislating body up here, ah Imgonna Gopoopoo from the nation of Zululand, you have a question?

Yes, why is it pie, aren't weasels more nutritious?

Imgonna? Who's that question directed to?

All

Ok then, Abe? Your response?

Abe: Although scarfing weasels may be a common practice in your country, Mr. Gopoopoo, I believe the case here is that pie is the only universal thing of deliciousness.

Shaka?

Shaka: Yes, weasels are much more nutritious, but no where near as cool as pie, less useful too.

Alexander? Your turn

Alexander: Ha, did you know that your name is I'm gonna go poo poo?

Oooh kay.... Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: In England, we have many more nutritious foods than weasel, indeed, if an englishperson is seen eating weasel, he's thrown into the loony bin for careful examination and some probing

Now is the time the contestants ask each other questions, when a contestant cannot answer the question, he's out of the debate, last contestant standing wins the Secretary General Seat. But first a few words from our sponsors.

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What'd you guys think? Funny? Not funny? Likes? dislikes?

Samuel Johnson · April 27, 2002, 12:44

From Chicken Run: "It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out."

Sometimes I think the U.N. is more like, "pies go in, chickens come out..."

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Metaliturtle · April 27, 2002, 13:23

LOL

civman2000 · April 28, 2002, 00:04

Metaliturtle · April 30, 2002, 05:25

--Commercial Interlude--

Pies, Pies, They're fun to eat
filled with fruit or even meat
Pies taste good every day
if you don't eat pie you're prolly gay

((more coming when I get un-hooked from Sid Meier's SIMGolf))

dunk · April 30, 2002, 09:07

I like pie.

Was there a person dancing during the pie commercial?

Metaliturtle · April 30, 2002, 16:37

you know it dunk

civman2000 · April 30, 2002, 17:02

pies are gross

Metaliturtle · May 1, 2002, 18:23

Yes, once again, this program brought to you by pie. Pie, helping people think it's delicious since the 2000s BCE

Our next question is from Elizabeth. Elizabeth, which esteemed leader do you choose?

"Shaka"

Ok, Shaka, remember that if you answer this wrong, you are out of the running for secretary general.

"ok"

Elizabeth wetted her lips,"Shaka, what is pie made of, and why does that make pie delicious?"

"umm, there's filling, that's what makes it delicious, and there's flaky stuff on it, that is the outside."

I'm sorry Shaka, that is incorrect, Every part of pie is delicious.

"Damn"

Don't worry Shaka, we have some lovely parting gifts. First, a year's subscription to "Global Domination", the premier magazine for the sadistic warmonger. Second, a copy of our Home game, complete with the critically acclaimed book "United Nations for complete retards like Shaka." You also recieve the island of shittia, the place where we tested out all of the world's nuclear arsenal, let the radiation from the Sun and Earth warm you through the miracles of modern science. Thank you for playing.

Metaliturtle · May 2, 2002, 03:13

Ok, Elizabeth, now you pick who asks you a question

"ok, ummmmmmmmmmmm....mmmmm...Abe!"

"YES" Abe was ecstatic

Lizzy, now re-

"DON'T CALL ME LIZZY YOU LITTLE FRUIT!!!"

Elizabeth, if you answer this wrong, you are also out of the running.
Abe, your question?

"Yes, Elizabeth, what nationality is most associated with pi?"

"All are equally associated with pie"

WRONG!!!!

Abe clearly stated the greek letter, pi, not pie, the correct answer would be Greece
Alexander pumped his fist in excitement over his beloved homeland.

And because you are such a b*tch Elizabeth, you get a free Stick from asstomectomy, permanently removing that big stick from up your arse.

Now it's time for a commercial, when we return, Abe and Alexander shall have a battle of wits over a DIFFERENT SUBJECT, but first, a message from our sponsors.

Metaliturtle · May 3, 2002, 00:54

This section of the United Nations brought to you by Porn,

PORN, helping losers fantasize since 1000 B.C.

Also brought to you by Duck brand Duct Tape

What's long round and sticky?
Duct tape.

And

The Shaka campaign to kill Elizabeth because of her being such a b*tch

Shaka says:"SURPRISE LIZZY, WE INVADED!!"

______________________________________
Hey, i should embellish on this, maybe after I finish my homework

Homework: P*ssing Metaliturtle off since 1980

Thrusters · May 4, 2002, 17:17

you are my idol and u write the best stories

Metaliturtle · May 4, 2002, 17:19

Thank you ::Metaliturtle feels pride::

civman2000 · May 12, 2002, 09:35

story contest bump

Metaliturtle · May 12, 2002, 10:14

HA, the new subject. Once again, this is Iam Zippy with the concluding debate in the lovely United Nations building. We have a tie between Lincoln and Alexander, so we're going to bring out a new topic: Ninjas.

Abe, you start.
"Just check out my webpage, www.realultimatepower.net"

Alexander, your rebuttal?
"My ninjas are here!!!!"

The ninjas started flipping out, and it was totally sweet, after everyone, including Alexander, had died, they busted out their guitars, and started wailing on them hard. Then a whole bunch of hot babes came out of nowhere and they porked.

The End

Metaliturtle · May 12, 2002, 10:15

Actually go to that website, it's hilarious, and if you read the getting pumped movie scripts, you'll see why the ending is silly

Metaliturtle · May 12, 2002, 18:49

feedback? anybody?

civman2000 · May 16, 2002, 18:39

bump! How's that for feeedback

Solomyr · May 17, 2002, 16:14

even looking at the website, the ending was weak. ya should have abe or alex whip out a light saber (there's a real weapon) and kick the other guys ass. IMHO

but for the most part, that strory was pretty funny.