It's probably onions.

[Lorizael]

I'm sorry.

Last week I did something stupid and checked up on my ex--the girlfriend I broke up with three years ago because she wanted kids and I did not--and discovered that she has a new last name. She married the guy she started seeing after me. I have been inconsolably sad for almost a week now as a result. Random, frequent bouts of crying. Recurrent stomach pain for the first couple days. Unable to concentrate on school stuff. Nearly losing my patience with annoying customers.

I don't know what to do. She hasn't been a part of my life for years now. This doesn't change anything, and it's not as if until now there was some remote chance we were still going to get back together. Theoretically, I should be happy for her. Instead I'm miserable and thinking dark (self-destructive, paranoid, angry) thoughts. If I could sign up for some eternal sunshine of the spotless mind right now, I would have trouble not doing so.

Sorry again.

[Jon Miller]

Choose joy.

At least you recognize that you should be something different. So many people don't recognize that.

Joy isn't going to start by thinking about her, but find something else that is joyous, or even just 'happy'.

If you have no other ideas, watch some kittens or panda cubs being cute.

JM
(I kept it secular)

[ZEE]

Nuke up a slimy, over-salted, dried up, cheap frozen dinner and a mountain dew...that should cheer you up!

AAHZ is off to drink beer and play video games all night now after eating a healthy and filling home-cooked meal that I prepared. I don't think I will take my medication tonight either. Makes me tired and I want to see what random chaos my mind comes up with so I can laugh at it.

[Giancarlo]

Don't let that get you down. I had regrets myself about past relationships. I got depressed and so pissed off when I found out one of my exbfs was dating my bestfriend. I basically destroyed the friendship. It all ended badly. Maybe I should have stayed friends or at least ended the friendship amicably without resorting to being a backstabbing queen (fitting into stereotypes on that). I even tried to destroy their relationship and I spread rumors about each of them.

It is best to move on. You will find somebody who will be your other half... Or perhaps they will find you. Don't get caught up in the past. We all have regrets, but the only way is to look at the future. And don't fall into depression... You are you and you need to put your own happiness first.

[Ben Kenobi]

the girlfriend I broke up with three years ago because she wanted kids and I did not

It was your choice, Lori. Time to move on.

[Lorizael]

If you have no other ideas, watch some kittens or panda cubs being cute.

That only seems to provide temporary relief until something (or nothing) sets me off again.

...

I don't know what moving on means. We broke up three years ago. I stopped spending time with her two years ago. A few months ago I made a concerted effort to stop getting caught up in thoughts about her, not to dwell on my decision, not to get angry at myself for thinking about her, that sort of thing. Then this happens. Yes, it happened because I was momentarily stupid and decided to look her up, but I would have found out eventually anyhow.

[Bereta_Eder]

Having had a few girlfriends gives you perspective

("yes that one sucked. No the toher one was pretty good etc)

[Dinner]

This is silly thing to be so upset about. You chose what was best for your life so now continue doing that and keep your eyes open for a new lady for when the time is right.

[Dinner]

Choose joy.

At least you recognize that you should be something different. So many people don't recognize that.

Joy isn't going to start by thinking about her, but find something else that is joyous, or even just 'happy'.

If you have no other ideas, watch some kittens or panda cubs being cute.

JM
(I kept it secular)

I am curious, as your wife is Indian did she convert or do you two have separate religious beliefs? I ask because religion seems a big part of your life and both marriage and child rearing tie in strongly with religious beliefs.

[Aeson]

"In other news: Reports are coming in that the Universe Consuming Techno Blob has been delayed once again due to Facebook stalking."

[SlowwHand]

There's a "Live and Learn" lesson here on a couple of levels.

[The Mad Monk]

"This too shall pass"

Given enough time, none of this is relevant.

[The Mad Monk]

You put it away for awhile, then you went and reminded yourself, and the pain happened all over again. That is very, very human. We all do it, to some extent; some more than others. It hurts worse when you think there was something you could have done, something that could have altered the result, but in end it's done. It will happen again, when another person leaves. I'm dreading a phone call, myself. My mother has heart failure and is on dialysis. That phone call is coming sooner rather than later. I've come to hate ringtone I've assigned to my parents' home phone. That call will come, and I will think over every last little thing I did wrong or could have done better, and I will hate myself. Over time, it will pass.

Then one fine day, I will stumble across something, and it will remind me, and the pain will be renewed.

That is life. It will pass again.

[Elok]

Well, ideally you'd stop paying such intense attention to your own emotions, as it only gives them more power over you while accomplishing nothing useful. If that's not possible--as I assume is the case--you need to find a way to at least reduce the attention you give to them. Bad feelings happen, and that's okay, but tracking them as closely as you are seems to be encouraging them. Kind of like how venting your anger a lot doesn't relieve it, only gets you in the habit of expressing anger, and thus of feeling it more powerfully so as to express it more forcefully. You're setting up a morbid feedback loop.

You can start small, by just discouraging thoughts about whether it's normal to feel sad for X period. Failing that, discourage thoughts about whether it's normal to wonder whether it's normal. If THAT won't work, go a little more meta than that. Whatever. You've got to start somewhere.

[Proteus_MST]

Take a few pills with Valeriana officinalis (Baldrian) for the next few weeks and get on with your life.

You have spent so much time without your Ex now and I guess you didn't think all too much about her during that time, so obviously, leading a happy, productive life without your Ex is very well possible

After taking the Baldrian, concentrate your energies on projects and school ... and especially on spending some time together with your RL friends ... that should lead your thinking into a different direction