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The shotgun effect

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  • The shotgun effect

    The trick to getting your threads to stay on the first page is to create a lot of them. I will be offering a free workshop as part of my ongoing web comedy series.



    Random:

    I'm pooping now. Literally squeezing it out of my butt as I type. I'm doing my best to document the experience. I've never done that. Ooh, slightly poking out like a turtle.

    Because this part of the world has turned into the planet Hoth, I also brought in a space heater. There is nothing quite like pooping at 3am in the dead of winter while having the heat blow on you full blast. I'm tempted to say it is heavenly.

    My arm hurts a little. I think I have been overworking my forearms. Normally I would put a naughty smiley after that, but I have not masturbated for more than two weeks. I believe that is a personal record.

    What is the longest you have gone without punching the kangaroo?
    To us, it is the BEAST.

  • #2
    Very long, there are no kangaroos here
    Indifference is Bliss

    Comment


    • #3
      To us, it is the BEAST.

      Comment


      • #4
        Had another tough choice just now. Sleep. Poop. Or eat.

        Naturally, I chose poop.
        To us, it is the BEAST.

        Comment


        • #5
          Poop > sleep > eat
          Indifference is Bliss

          Comment


          • #6
            My second girlfriend tried to get me to stop masturbating many moons ago. I probably managed a few weeks.
            Last edited by Lorizael; February 26, 2015, 10:26.
            Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
            "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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            • #7
              Did she actually think the honor system would work?
              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

              Comment


              • #8
                At that point in her life, she was used to getting her way. Eventually, I taught her the wonders of masturbation...
                Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

                Comment


                • #9
                  "no honey, I haven't touched myself since you told me not to"
                  It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                  RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    "No honey, there's no chance in hell I'll stop masturbating, and you will have to learn it has nothing to do with how much I love your or find you attractive/hot."
                    Indifference is Bliss

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Poor Lori
                      To us, it is the BEAST.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        There was a 2-year stretch 8-10 years ago when I pretended not to masturbate (while the evil bestfriend was sending me naked pics). Don't feel too bad for me.
                        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't think less of you because of that.
                          To us, it is the BEAST.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            As long as it was just pretending I have no problem with it.
                            If he had actually done it, that would have been sad, and unnecessary.
                            It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                            RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

                            Comment

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