Still alive

[Pekka]

What overwhelming support, it feels good, friends!

I had a weird experience on Sunday. As my mom is a pastor, she invited me and the kids for the service and ice cream afterwards, so we went.
After the service, some old woman came to me and took my hand and smiled and said "you must be Pekka?". I said yes. She said, and I kid you not, "You are a living answer to our prayers!" adn she kept shaking my hand as if I had liberated a country from oppressors. She kept saying how they knew about my situation and kept praying and how happy she was I was still here and she just would not let me hand go! But the smile she had was genuine and with only true and good intentions.

It was kind of moving. A total stranger to me. Had never met her in my life. Clearly this was a big deal to her and that she had took some pain in thinking about my ordeal and done the thing she knows best to try to help.

So even though it did not show, I was moved. It was one of the nicest things I've ever experienced

[DaShi]

Start a cult!

[Kidlicious]

Some people in the US were also praying for you

[regexcellent]

Pekka, I can't speak for anyone else here but at least for me your struggle has been greatly motivating to me. I kept thinking, "man, I don't see how he's gonna get out of this." And then you made it. I think a lot of people would have given up by now, not done the chemo, just wasted away. But you fought it and won.

[EPW]

It's all just a setup. Pekka's going to get run over by a bus and the mother-in-law is going to win the lotto.

[Bereta_Eder]

Pekka will probably make a wild turn and evade the bus only to catch in the air the lotto ticket that his ex mother in law let slip from her hand.

[Pekka]

Yeah I know some Polytoners said prayers as well! I mean... I can say what lots of people who didn't made it did or didn't do... I know what I did. I didn't do much differently. I know what I did that most didn't do. I ate medibles while on chemo rounds because the particular drug was said to be enhanced by THC. (Very illegal in here so had to do it "secretly"). I know a lot of people in here don't do it.

Another thing was greatly enhanced diet. And one, exercise.

Last but not least, lots of people did pray for me.

Which of these made the difference? I don't know. Maybe they all did. I just can't know for sure. I don't see why I should change what worked before.

I have my ex-mother-in-law in a death grip if needed. I have her on tape as well, screaming at me all kinds of obscenities. She's a special ed teacher. I can actually make a child protection notification AGAINST her. She screamed at me in front of the kids you see. She ought to be notified as a danger and abuser. I can call to her job, to the principle. Asking where the F is my home key, and if tehy are aware that the employee the have screamed at me what a and I quote "rertarded" people we are. Nice.

That's jsut to begin with. I can have 8th of her home. Trusting my ex doesn't know this forum, I'll let you on another good one:
So in division of assets, my wife inherited 4th of her mom's house. So that's in the table by default. It is NOT protected by a will (stating "this property is denied in case of divorce from the other party" or something like that). So, that means, half of that belongs to me.

AND it gets better: my wife bought a car, I even texted her not to do it because half of its value is mine, meaning she has to pay me half of what that car is worth. She did it anwyay. To show what? The narcissist in her is so strong, she wanted to show case me she can do what she wants. Unfortunately, the law states, that I get half of the car.

This is a teaser, the best part is:

Her moms house is "guarantee" for her summer cottage loan. Meaning that if I so choose, she'd have to pay me around 20k on the spot if I wanted my 8th of the house to be paid, meaning SHE CANNOT get another loan to cover for it, since the property is ALREADY being used as a deposit! It's a pickle, what to do... It gets even better... as it is linked to teh summer cottage, half owned by her new husband who has sent me some *******an text messages, I can now leverage myself into the cottage, as a part owner, and demand to be paid or we can agree on the weekends I get to be there by myself, since I now own part of it as a lender/investor, unless they pay me out right away.

Maybe I don't want money, maybe I just want my own set of keys to her moms house and invite my friends there. We can have a party for sure.

AND if they indeed pay me out of her moms house, it is no longer worth the same as a guarantee for the summer cottage loan, so she has to come up with a new extra 20k JUST for that loan, or they will lose it. In any case they will need a new loan as it will be void and null after deposit is gone as it was when first negotiated.

It can be SO painful if they want to fight. Plus my dad can send a bill to my wife of 85k euros. We checked this with our lawyer and indeed it can be done. ADN it can be sold to creditors who can do what ever they want to do with it.

I'd say we are in a position, my wife is not. We are STILL saying "walk out and you don't owe anything at all". She disagrees. She thinks she ought to get paid for her "work" as my wife. And that her efforts as a mother needs to be compensated. Oh well. It's get out, continue the new life, or get bankrupt and I get paid. The only reason I haven't already gone for it is because we do have kids and I know she would kill herself as a result. She does not deserve all that ****, her mom does. I'll go after her assets ruthlessly if she keeps messing up with me or our kids. She is the worst of them two, the one who made my ex wife into a narcissist. She is the queen ***** narcissist. She lives double life, I know she enjoys multiple sex partners, I don't know if she too is a drug user, probably not but at least sexually extremely promiscuous, and lacks all empathy. And has screwed up her own daughters, uses them as pawns in her own sick game. I feel no remorse for her. None what so ever.

[Pekka]

I don't feel good about any of this. Let's just say this has helped me to shut my mouth, knowing that I can take them all out legally if needed. I've felt like shouting lost of times, when I've been shouted at. Like, why is my cheating wife yelling at me, in front of the kids, all kinds of lies about me? Why is she and her mom attacking me while I'm trying to, literally, recover from fairly serious cancer (terminal). I know they were BOTH in the knwo of what was going on, waiting for me to die, so she would inherit me and get the house, AND get the widowers pension. That's what queen ***** narcissist got.

And she kept cheating on me even after all this, during and after. And I kept my mouth shut.

I still keep my mouth shut. The point is. IF she starts ****, she will lose everything if needed. If she goes insane with her attacks, she can no longer see the kids, unless I permit it (which I would of course, but far less than now), and just take her mom to a lesson of what can happen in the REAL world that collides with the narcissit make belief world.

It is strange, I will ask my therapist abou tthis, but I mostly pity my wife. I think she is a loser. She has nothing and she will always stay that way. Her life is probably nightmare anyway. She tries to escape, yet she doesn't realise it's her own mother. She is escaping from her, unconsciously, and her mom keeps her tabs on her. She drops in regularly just to show what's up and who the important one is.

I mean my ex wife has screamed at me, about stuff, that was directly meant to her mom. It's weird! Except she doesn't even get it.

Her mom is fully aware of what she is doing so I find it unforgiveable. I can forgive my wife. She is also a victim of a bigger, sick and sadistic game. That's why I pity her, that's why I don't want to put her down or attack her at all, but I do want to take out the bully, which is her mother. But I'd rather jstu isolate her from my life and let them suffer in life as they co-exist and destroy each other. It's a sad story, really. Completely ****ed up. And so obvious once you get the hang of it, which takes time and outside help.

[Kidlicious]

Can you get a protective order? Idk what the term would be called in your country. You shouldn't have to have people screaming at you in front of your kids. That is abuse towards you and your kids

Also, they lie about you in front of your children?! Pekka, nip that in the bud. Take care of that immediately. That's very bad. Speak to your lawyers about that.

[Kidlicious]

Can you get a protective order? Idk what the term would be called in your country. You shouldn't have to have people screaming at you in front of your kids. That is abuse towards you and your kids

Also, they lie about you in front of your children?! Pekka, nip that in the bud. Take care of that immediately. That's very bad. Speak to your lawyers about that.

[Joseph]

Hello Pekka

Been away for a while. It is good to hear that you will not be leaving us any time soon. Hope all of the above goes well for you. Have you thought about making a call to the other wife? Does Finland have what we call in the U.S., a Living Trust? My Wife and I have one. In the Trust, all assets goes the the Persons listed in the Trust. No Probate. No one can sue the Trust.

Joseph