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1. Start with high-quality Greek opium, mixed with whatever they're selling on the Chicago streets these days.
2. Cook down over a stove for a long, long time.
3. Cut with panda semen. Note that this will cause a good portion of the contents to evaporate. If it makes you feel better, tell yourself those were the crap parts anyway.
4. Add some Dutch holy water. You will not notice any change in the mixture whatsoever. This is normal.
5. Finish with Filipino poppy extract. It is unclear what this last addition accomplishes.
There are a number of varieties for sale. The most popular include:
"MikeH," a cheap high poured sloppily into the bag by unmotivated workers.
"JonMiller," which is double-strength.
"KrazyHorse," which is basically MikeH, but immaculately packaged and three times the price
"Loinburger," which is cut with mescaline ("Giancarlo" and "Zylka," cut with acid and PCP respectively, have been discontinued)
"MollyBloom," a vintage blend with a fine bouquet and hints of raspberry, varnish, tequila and . . . hey, pay attention!
"Ben Kenobi," which is just a baggie of dried oregano. labeled "DO NOT INJECT THIS HIGH QUALITY OPIATE DRUGS ARE BAD THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE."
"Albie," sold as an empty bag because our savannah ancestors did not use psychoactive drugs. Free with purchase of a new car.
2. Cook down over a stove for a long, long time.
3. Cut with panda semen. Note that this will cause a good portion of the contents to evaporate. If it makes you feel better, tell yourself those were the crap parts anyway.
4. Add some Dutch holy water. You will not notice any change in the mixture whatsoever. This is normal.
5. Finish with Filipino poppy extract. It is unclear what this last addition accomplishes.
There are a number of varieties for sale. The most popular include:
"MikeH," a cheap high poured sloppily into the bag by unmotivated workers.
"JonMiller," which is double-strength.
"KrazyHorse," which is basically MikeH, but immaculately packaged and three times the price
"Loinburger," which is cut with mescaline ("Giancarlo" and "Zylka," cut with acid and PCP respectively, have been discontinued)
"MollyBloom," a vintage blend with a fine bouquet and hints of raspberry, varnish, tequila and . . . hey, pay attention!
"Ben Kenobi," which is just a baggie of dried oregano. labeled "DO NOT INJECT THIS HIGH QUALITY OPIATE DRUGS ARE BAD THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE."
"Albie," sold as an empty bag because our savannah ancestors did not use psychoactive drugs. Free with purchase of a new car.
excellent 
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