Anybody ever had that phone call?

[notyoueither]

Hello.

Are you so-and-so?

Yes.

Was your mother so-and-so?

Yes.

Hi. I'm your sister!

-----

Very interesting to hear from someone my mother had to give up for adoption, and to meet her. Although she would not be everyone's cup of tea, I like her a lot. She is like my mother in so many ways. Very similar interests that are very not mainstream. Very different in other significant ways.

A big issue is my concern for her feelings about having been given up and my overcompensating to try to make her feel comfortable or better about it somehow.

Has anyone here had a similar experience? I'd read about it and said wow, that could be strange. Now I know how it feels. It is world altering, in a way. A good way, in my case (and hers, I think).

[Lonestar]

She's trying to scam you out of money.

On an unrelated note, I'm pretty sure I'm your brother. Can you loan me about 6 hundro?

[notyoueither]

I checked for scams, and am aware of the pitfalls.

No, bro, I need your help to get my bank in Nigeria going again. There's $49 mil locked up there, I just need your personal details to transfer the money to you. Send them by PM, urgent, and keep this confidential.

[dannubis]

On both your posts...

[MikeH]

Were you aware of your sister's existence before this call?

[notyoueither]

No. It was the bolt from the blue that I have read about. My mother took this to the grave.

It was actually easier for me than I described. She contacted my older brother before me. He called me and discussed it with me. That's actually when the world changed for me. When she called several months ago I was somewhat prepared. That was good as I was a better listener, and was more supportive (I think). Both he and I were quite pleased by the prospect of gaining a sister, but a bit on guard.

She arrived on a trip last week. I've spent several days with her, and it's all been good except for the issue that is a consequence of my trying too hard and is easily corrected.

[MikeH]

Well congratulations on your new sister.

[Asher]

That'd be quite surprising to anyone, I'd imagine.

Congrats.

Is she in Edmonton?

[Imran Siddiqui]

Congrats! That's really cool!

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Very cool. Family

[notyoueither]

Thanks.

Is she in Edmonton?

She is visiting for a time. I'm getting a chance to get to know her.

[Aeson]

That's cool NYE.

Never had a phone call like that ... but did watch Star Wars so if you ever need any advice ...

[notyoueither]

Hmm... maybe not.

[Tuberski]

I have an older brother out there somewhere that was adopted. He'd be in his mid 50's right now.

ACK!

[notyoueither]

You know about him? How did that go?

[Tuberski]

I know about him only because my mother told us. We've never met him.

ACK!

[Ecthy]

Talking about secret or unknown family, it's amazing what stuff comes to light over the years. I won't go into detail here, but on some days I ponder about that one line "The seed is strong" from the Game of Thrones and what family secrets it may hold, especially when looking at the apparent mutual unfamiliarity (ha!) of some more or less close relatives (I know it doesn't bode well with genetics, but you get the idea). No secret siblings involved, though, I hope, although there is some half-uncle, known only by his name, from one affair grampa's had some time ago

[Alexander's Horse]

I can make that phone call.

[Hauldren Collider]

Wow, very cool nye! Hope everything goes well, and congratulations!

[Japher]

Happens to me all the time... my mom was a huge slut

[Tuberski]

Happens to me all the time... my mom was a huge slut

Yes she was, my son...

ACK!

[Az]

Awesome story.

For me, it is worrisome. My dad got a little drunk once and told me I have a couple of brothers from before he met my mother. Means they are 30 or 40 or something. We never discussed it since. I don't know how to deal with it, honestly.

[Ecthy]

My maternal grandfather (not the one I was talking about earlier) has been single ever since he and my grandma got divorced more than 50 years ago. Who knows what secret relatives exist on that side...

[Rufus T. Firefly]

I can make that phone call.

Me too -- or, I could once I did the research, I guess. I have no special interest in finding my birth family per se, but I sure has been a pain in the ass not knowing my medical history; it would be nice to have that.

[Donegeal]

While it has not happened to me, I have an Uncle who got a girl pregnant when he was just 14. The baby was given up for adoption. About 4 years ago (at the behest of his GF) that boy contacted my uncle and went to the family Christmas that year. He's about my age and talking with him, he said 'it explains alot about me.". He like my uncle and our family. He wanted to keep in touch be included in family get togethers, but his GF was put-off by the families antics so he stayed away. Anyway, that stuck up little ***** and him are no longer together so guess who's coming to christmas again this year?

[notyoueither]

I know about him only because my mother told us. We've never met him.

ACK!

Maybe someday. It's quite a hoot for my brother and I.

Talking about secret or unknown family, it's amazing what stuff comes to light over the years. I won't go into detail here, but on some days I ponder about that one line "The seed is strong" from the Game of Thrones and what family secrets it may hold, especially when looking at the apparent mutual unfamiliarity (ha!) of some more or less close relatives (I know it doesn't bode well with genetics, but you get the idea). No secret siblings involved, though, I hope, although there is some half-uncle, known only by his name, from one affair grampa's had some time ago

You mean they don't look alike?

That is common for the women in my extended family. Not much resemblance. The men tend to get the distinctive features (nose and eyebrows).

Awesome story.

For me, it is worrisome. My dad got a little drunk once and told me I have a couple of brothers from before he met my mother. Means they are 30 or 40 or something. We never discussed it since. I don't know how to deal with it, honestly.

For my brother and I it is easy. We have nothing to lose, only to gain.

While it has not happened to me, I have an Uncle who got a girl pregnant when he was just 14. The baby was given up for adoption. About 4 years ago (at the behest of his GF) that boy contacted my uncle and went to the family Christmas that year. He's about my age and talking with him, he said 'it explains alot about me.". He like my uncle and our family. He wanted to keep in touch be included in family get togethers, but his GF was put-off by the families antics so he stayed away. Anyway, that stuck up little ***** and him are no longer together so guess who's coming to christmas again this year?

That sounds good!

[The Mad Monk]

Reunions

[Tuberski]

Me too -- or, I could once I did the research, I guess. I have no special interest in finding my birth family per se, but I sure has been a pain in the ass not knowing my medical history; it would be nice to have that.

Your name isn't Billy, right?

ACK!

[Alexander's Horse]

apparently there is a high risk of incest with adoption reunions, particularly mother-son - ick!

[Sparrowhawk]

apparently there is a high risk of incest with adoption reunions, particularly mother-son - ick!

Citiation needed (though in all honesty, I REALLY hope you can't quote a reliable source on this one, as I would prefer not to beleive it).