Domination of Barbarians [Diplo Game] [Story Thread 1 - April 2012]

[Ottomans (DoB)]

Melih awoke with a start. He had no idea how long he had been asleep, but the debate was still raging. In fact, it was the recent round of shouting that had roused him from his dreams, which were more pleasant than these surroundings. He stood up on a small stool to better see what was going on in the center of the tent.

It was clear that tempers had grown short. Sub-Chieftain Mustafa was screaming about the plentiful fish in the area, and about building boats to travel over water. The majority of the elders knew little of fishing and sat quietly, shaking their heads. They were subsistence farmers, and had been for generations. Uncle Bedri knew that he had their support, but Mustafa had a considerable following, and they were getting bolder.

Chieftain Bedri Ayhan's next action would change the lives of the Ottoman people forever, and would stay ingrained in Melih's memory for the rest of his life. Bedri rose, turned his back to Mustafa, and then in one powerful swirl of his body swung his war club into the side of Mustafa's head.



As Chieftain, Bedri's club was lined with colorful yet very sharp quartzite rock and other decorative stones. It sliced open the top of Mustafa's head. He fell to the ground, blood and grey matter staining the ground. The tent went silent. The debate was over.

The next morning, the tribe broke camp and left the area.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

Messenger - "Our warriors are ready to report to you Chieftan"

Chief -"Send them in"

Warrior 1 - "Chieftain, you make me head of the hunting party. I found some wild boars to the North, but I also found that our nearby waters are teeming with fish. I say we should forget the boars and go after the Fish. We already are the men of the Nether-Regions. We know well the ways of the waters. Those stupid boars are too hard to catch and they run away so fast from our hunters. And they gore us with their tusk. They are too much trouble. We cant control them. Let us go to the waters. Mother Ocean will welcome our boats and fill them with fishes. Shall we start making the nets now?"

Chief - "Let me hear the others first"

Warrior 2 - "Chief, you put me over finding supplies to build our huts and boats. I find there is much trees near us we can use. We can snap off the branches and pick up brush and fallen logs to Make our huts and cooking fires. We are masters of Fire afterall. Mountain Father will grant us great bounty! Let us venture out to him and see if he has even stronger trees and stones for us to use"

Warrior 3 - "Chief, you place me as head man over security. I have many thing to say to you. The naughty Frenchmen to the south are spying on us. We saw a group of their warriors lurking south of here, far from their own lands but so close to ours.


Chief- "Any message from these French to us?"

Warrioer 3 - "No they just lurk and sneak near our land but say nothing to us. We must find a way to deal with this threat. More warriors to protect our people, and better weapons. Let me take some men on the hunt and teach them the way to hide and sneak and stalk in the forests. Then they will be ready to fashion better weapons to fight man, once they have practice fighting beasts.

Chief - "You say there is more?"

Warrior 3 - Yes Chief, my fellow hunter wants to take the fishes, but what if others come to take the fishes too like those naughty Frenchies? We need stronger boats to protect our fishermen. We can build boats larger to carry warriors, then we will be strong to protect our fisheries. And we are surrounded by foreigners, not just those naughty, sneaky Frenchies, but others as well Germ-Mains they call each other, and also the men across the sea that we hear the Frenchies in the Forest calling Mer-men.

Chief - What is Mer-men meaning? "

Warrior 3 - "We think it means the same as Man from Nether-regions, masters of the water. Those Frenchies don't seem to like them. We already hear they make laws against them. We hear the Frenchies fear the Ocean Mother. So if they don't like those men of the Nether-regions, they may not like us either.

Chief - "Here is what I am saying to all you Warriors. Go to the forest and build our shelters and send some Warriors to the French lands to see if they are against us. Watch closely the French in the forest. Set camps out in the hills and woods to scare them off. Start the nets, but do not give up on the Boars. They make fine meat, we must learn to capture and control them. Train more men to be fighters to protect us."

[England (DoB)]

Elizabeth, taking pity on the people of the funny looking hats who appeared fearful of the pleasant and fruitful sea, had her people withdraw from some of their territory so that the people across the waters might also enjoy the bounty of the great sea. "Come let us build a ship so that we may eat the plentiful and teeming fish off our shores and show the funny-hatted Frenchmen that their fears are misplaced." Looking out across the sea, Elizabeth sees that a band of fierce warriors of the orange-fire people move across the land towards the place known as Paris - might they seek to steal the funny-hats? How uncouth.

[France (DoB)]

The tribal elders were in a frenzy as reports of invaders amassing on the borders came in from all directions. The English Sirens and the Spanish Princesses had sent peaceful greetings (although the Spanish Princesses' greeting was emphasized with a group of club wielding young men). Mermen warriors had amassed on another border while a mysterious group of warriors, which the elders decided to call Seelie, appeared out of the forest as if by magic on yet another border.

Runners were sent to retrieve the boys of Paris, who were deep in the mountains exploring, but there was little chance they could return in time to save Paris. It was up to the womenfolk and the old men to save Paris by whatever means necessary...

[France (DoB)]

The Virgin Sacrifice

From his hiding spot Jean-Guy peered out at the strange mermen who wielded fire. The had gathered many sticks to build great fires and Jean-Guy feared they intended to burn the very forest to the ground. Paris would be burned to the ground if such savages were allowed anywhere near it.

Most of the rest of the tribal elders were off with his brother Jean-Paul seeking the Seelie while the wise women of the village met with the Spanish Princesses and his own mate Patricia, who was a natively English, off to meet her former ruler Elizabeth. That left Jean-Guy with only a bunch of women and children to defend against the fire-lusting horde.

A plan came unbidden to his mind that was so reprehensible that he immediately disavowed it but try as he might he could not come up with any other plan.

Steeling himself, Jean-Guy separated the women who were of child-bearing age but did not yet have a mate and made them take off all their clothing. There was much wailing and pleading as Jean-Guy instructed the girls in their task. "You must go forth into the land of the fire wielding mermen and slake their lust with your loins. They will ravage you repeatedly but you must persevere for it is only by satiating the savages lusts can Paris and your families be saved!"

So it was that nearly a hundred naked scared young girls walked bravely into the Dutch lands sacrificing themselves to save their homeland.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

"Look Warriors! There are French children coming out of the Woods"

The warriors were suprised to see such young female children wandering alone in the woods. They were cold, naked and frightened.



The Warriors brought them blankets and told them to return to their irresponsible parents. Many thanked the Nether-man, but some other of the girls say they wish to be the wives of the Orange banner. They say that their countrymen are starving, and that they make excuses to kick out the young, the weak and the young girls especially. The girls tell the Warriors that the French only like young boys. They say they want the boys so that they can fill their armies.

The Warriors of the Nether Regions decide to take those as brides who wish to stay and send the rest back with a message. "What do the Frenchman want? Why has he left his own rightful lands to set up campfires so near to us?

[Sommerswerd]

Headship / Royal Lineages of the World

Barbarians – Barbarous the Expelled

France – Jean-Guy & Patrica w/ Jean-Paul sons of Jean
Spain - Himilce, Princess of Spain, Mother of Astor
Portugal – Porto & Portu
Netherlands - Chieftain
Rome - ???
Greece - ???
Germany - ???
Ottomans – Head Chieftain Bedri Ayhan
Holy Rome - ???
Russia - ???
Persia - ???
Byzantines – Leader Constantine
China – Father of Qin Shi Huang
Arabia - ???
Viking – Chief Ragnar
Japan - ???
England – Leader Elizabeth
Celts – Lord Chieftain Brennus & Aithe

[Spain (DoB)]

The fair princess Himilce is not married yet. She is the most eligible royal princess in all of Europe.
Astor is her little nephew.

(although it may be very well the case that the Spanish are the only peoples which refer to their leaders as Royals)

[Netherlands (DoB)]

The French Girls



Once the young French maidens arrived in the Nation of Fire and Nether-regions, they quickly became the most beloved of the Nether-peoples. The girls were young, but very alluring, as if they had been learning their whole lives to become very desireable. Soon they were teaching all the women of the Nation of Fire to be just as alluring and inticing.

And they knew how to make simple drinking spirits. The Netherman had never tasted the intoxicates before. Some of the girls were carrying bushels of grapes when they were found in the woods, and they were able to smash the grapes with other roots and leaves and berries and then make some magic incantations over the mixture. Then they told the men to store the mashed up mixture inside wooden vessels or boar hides.

After a while the sticky mush could be eaten, and it made the people feel happy all over when they consumed the magic brew. The people began calling it "French Stew." The grapes quickly ran out, but the "Stew" could still be made with other things, as long as they knew the proper spells and incantations to make.



So happy were the Nether-people that they decided to give the Frenchmen a gift. The most beautiful singing girls in the land wer Aaf, Arabella, and Aafje, and it was decided that they would be a goodwill messenger to the French. They were sent with a few warriors to escort them, with instructions to teach the French to sing, teach them not to be afraid of singing women and also teach them to catch fish and tell them not to be afraid of Ocean Mother's waters.

This made the people think maybe they should send gifts to the Mer-Man, so they would not be jealous

[France (DoB)]

The young Pierre had been running for many days. He had been so excited when his group had discovered the mound where the Seelies lived and had been celebrating their success with the other boys of Paris when a runner from Paris had arrived to tell them the news that Paris was besieged by enemy forces. Pierre had left his comrades far behind as he relentlessly pushed on to return to Paris to save his love Angeline. The thought of some barbarian harming her made his blood boil and his heart pound like thunder. He had to make it back in time to save her.

Pierre was back in French territory when he met up with Jean-Paul, who was Angeline's father, and the tribal elders who had gone out to seek the elusive Seelies. Jean-Paul had shouted his greetings to the Seelies from afar but they had faded back into the woods as silently as they had arrived. In the distance the great fires of the mermen could be seen but they were still in mermen territory and towards Paris the air was still clear and smoke free. Pierre was relieved that everything appeared all right and slowed his pace to escort the tribal elders back to Paris.

As Pierre entered Paris his heart began to sink as something was obviously not right most of the women were crying and many of them appeared to be gone. Pierre franticly cast his gaze around for his love Angeline but she could not be found. Jean-Paul met with his brother Jean-Guy in the street and demanded to know what had happened.

Jean-Guy told the tale of how the virgins of Paris had sacrificed themselves to the mermen who called themselves Nether-men and their land the Nether Regions. The Nether-men had ugly women and when they saw the beauty of French women they orgasmed from the very sight. The Nether-men ejaculated prematurally so frequently that a small handful of French women could keep all of them sated so some of the older french girls had arranged to allow their younger sisters to return to Paris. Brave Angeline had been one of those who had volunteered to stay behind so that the other girls might be saved.

As soon as Jean-Guy had uttered Angeline's fate, Pierre's club swung out on its own volition and sunk into Jean-Guy's head like a melon. Pierre howled and beat his chest in rage and sorrow for several days and none dared approach him. When the rest of the boys of Paris returned they sought to calm Pierre. Pierre became an icy calm as he coldy declared himself ruler of Paris and swore that Paris would never be undefended again. Not even the tribal elders dared to challenge Pierre's rage and many took comfort that Pierre would protect them so it was that Pierre became the first despot of France.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

"Chieftain there is a new head man in Frenchlands"

"Who is he?"

"He is called Pee-here, slayer of Jon-gee the Womangiver"

"Why would they call him such a thing?"

"Our Warriors saw this man enter the French village and kill the man who seemed to be the leader, called Jongee. The Warriors are saying that he killed the Jongee man, his wife Poortrees and his brother Jonpall. Then he ate from their skulls as you eat from a melon shell and he drank their blood. He is quite savage, this Peehere. The French girls are saying that the brothers are sons of the Founder of the French nation, a man named Jon. It was the Jongee man who sent the girls away to us is what the French girls are saying"

"This is not good. Maybe this Peehere the Slayer is angry at our Orange Warriors for taking some of the French girls as wives. But they belong to the Nation of Fire now, they are Daughters of the Orange now, like all our women. We sent some women singers to them. They must be happy with those. Let us stop calling those daughters from Frenchlans French. Call them Daughters of the Nether-regions from now on."

"Chieftain, what about Daughters of the Underworld, so that our original women are not angered."

"That is good. The Underworld, where our Ocean Mother reaches. They shall be the Daughters of the Underworld, and forever they belong to us and their offspring will be our brethren. Go and tell the people."

[France (DoB)]

Some of the boys of Paris captured the Nether-people spies and brought them before Pierre the new despot of France. The spies were beaten and tortured as Pierre interrogated them about their homeland. Many hours later the male spies were brought to the banks of the sea and their heads held underwater until they drowned so that the people of Paris could see.

Pierre decreed, "These are not mermen with special powers over the water. See how they drown just like anyone else as they choke on their Ocean Mother's urine."

Pierre then had three great pyre's built just far enough from Netherland that they could be made out and a loud voice could be heard. Then he had the three female spies each tied to a stake on the pyres and demanded that they sing songs to their Fire Father. The drowned Nether-men were tossed in front of the pyre so that they could be seen as well.

As the Nether-women sang, Pierre lit the pyres under them and their songs quickly turned into wails and screams of agony as they burned to death.

With the pyres still burning behind him Pierre bellowed across the border to the Netherlands, "You want to see my Nether Regions?"

With that Pierre pulled out his penis and urinated on the drowned corpses of the Nether-men spies. The French people laughed at the jest and thus did the slang term Nether Regions come to mean genitalia.

[Vikings (DoB)]

The Thing is now many months ago. It was hard to convince Ragnars men to overcome the standstill, that had hamstrung the tribe over so many years, but missing their beloved drinks, they after much grumbling and cursing finally came back to their minds. Ulfr had been a great help to keep peace on the Thingplace, as it had been tradition earlier, and will be tradition again.

Not long after this remarkable day, the village of Nidaros was founded not far from their old cave, at the shores of the blue sea. Wild hills and peaks in most directions, and danger lurked all about, but the sea seemed to be teeming with edible fish, so the Thing decided, that the tribe builds some boats. Nothing yet fit to transport warriors, but at least to bring home some catch to sate their hunger.

Ragnar left Nidaros under Ulfrs rule and got together a band of warriors, to explore the surroundings. They found some nearby deer, then turned towards the midday sun. After some way on what appeared to be a narrow tongue of land, they arrived at a sound. Looking over the water, they saw there funny people dwelling. Some seemed to be painted all in orange, the others preferred simple grey. Ragnar tried to call them, but they were too far away, and probably didn't even notice the smoke signals, that were Ragnars next attempt.

At evening, they sat around the fire, and shared their thoughts about the strange people they had found. Some of the men believed, this might be the place, where the gods dwell. But the majority thought, that they were mortals just like Ragnars tribe, only led by other leaders. But then, one of the men asked loudly:

"But what if they are hostile?"

This question found Ragnar unprepared. Sure, from the distance they seemed to be all peaceful. But you never know. Their orange painting looked quite savage. May be they even have boats and are capable of crossing the sound. Finally he replied:

"We need to do two things. First, we must contact them to see what they're up for, and if we swim or use tree trunks as boats. And second, we need to be prepared for everything."

[Celtia (DoB)]

Cuidightheach sat on a small hill overlooking the village. He knew was approaching the last days of his life, but he was content. He looked at all the people he loved and cared about - his people - and he felt warmth and joy. The village was in full celebration, as Aithe had finally given Brennus a son. Cuidightheach remembered how painful it was for him to tell Brennus that love was not for chieftains, he remembered seeing the brief spark of fury in Brennus' eyes as he uttered those words to him. He uttered a prayer of thanks to the Earthmother, as he did every day, for not separating Brennus and Aithe.

The Celtic people would prevail, and live on for years to come, he was sure. The only faint feeling of sadness Cuidightheach felt was that he was not going to be there to see the future of the people - but who might know what the Earthmother had in store for him?

He rose up, and slowly walked down towards the village, looking forward to take part in the celebrations.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

"Cheiftain! We are at war with the Frenchmans!" said the warrior.

"What! Why!"

"They enter our land and murder our Warriors. Then they mutilated the singers we sent! They cut their genitals, screaming "Nether Regions! Nether Regions! They say that Nether region is now a word for genitals. Then Pee-here the Slayer pees on our warriors dead bodies! Andthen they drown the Warriors and they burn them for no reason! They insult us! We must go to War!"

The Chieftain laughed

"My son, sit down and listen to the wisdom of your elders. We come from the womb of Mother Ocean, just as a babe comes from the Womb of the mother. The deepest regions of Mother Ocean are where all souls must go when they die. Then they are reborn with Mountain Fire. So the Netheregions are the source of all. The Frnchman means to insult us, but he is right. Nether regions are the source of all life, and our own Nether regions are in the image of the Nether regions we come from. "

"I forgot that Chieftain. Forgive me. Still, the people are angered by the French insults, and some are calling our lands Nether-Lands instead of Nether Regions because the French insults."

Do not worry fore that. As for our men, our Warriors are safe. I just hear from them that they find grapes in the south and they are going to get some so the Daughters of the Underworld can properly flavors some more of the stew we love. The singers are safe. Even though only a fool would burn such beauties as the ones we sent, but the Frenchman don't care for beautiful women only young boys they are interested in. Despite this, Frenchman has never seen such strong warriors as even our women. I have it on good authority that our women are still alive and teachers to the French boys in the ways of seafaring and fighting and in this way they are useful to the Frenchmen. The bodies that they burned were nothing but straw dummies. Even if they did drown our Warriors, everyone knows that the greatest honor of a Netherman is to die in the clutches of Mother Ocean. The second greatest honor is to die in the Fire of father Mountain. So even if they did kill our people, they gave them the most hallowed deaths a Netherman can hope for. "



"Yes I know this, But why would they pretend to kill the maidens?" warrior asked

"Because Pee-here is a very small man, much smaller in stature than his brother Jonpall and he needs to show his worth through deception. All this was a clever deception to make him seem big and strong. He wants to rule the Frenchman, and have his pick of the young boys who attend him. Then he can mold the boys in his own image."


"What shall we do Cheiftain?"


"Do nothing for now. Peehere has made war on us, even if just a war of words, but such a beast will soon be overthrown. For now increase our patrols and claim more of the surrounding lands and waters. Send messengers to the Mermen across the Westsea and the Germ-Manes to the East. See if they are friendly or foe like Peehere. And find out more of the Northmen we spotted across the Great Northsea"