How much does audio quality affect the appeal of a vocal recording?

[Pax]

You know what it is - It's too basic. I kinda like the intro of the song then you come in with a nursery school hook. Still better than the other songs I have heard.

[Pax]

Superhero - Not a great song, Not feeling it. Have you ever had Patron?

[Pax]

Your acapella tracks reveal your voice in it's rawest form. You have potential and you have several problems.
1. You are in search of a style.
2. Your lyrical content.
3. Your lyrics/rhyme scheme/flow
4. Your delivery
5. Your backing music is usually boring

[Pax]

Style - You have to find one that fits you and your voice and brings out the personality that you have.
I would say your safest zone would be old school 80's/90's
I suggest as an exercise take these song instrumental a rap the exact same lyrics over them to get your delivery and flow down as well as style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND7sPNwWko&ob=av2e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMgfi...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywmMO8iilaE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRflk...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K8AFdUe8Qg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNrYITT5DUc

[Pax]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UuFHMnWMRo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld_4AyD2SzY

try some of these websites to get original music that not's boring..
The backing music has to have character and you have fit your rhymes into the song seamlessly. Think words like funky and etc..
http://www.audiosparx.com
sounddogs.com
audiolicense.net
rumblefish.com

Now Al, I have given you a fair and honest critique of your songs. Are you going to take my advice.

[Pax]

Oh yeah, your intros sometimes kill the songs before they start. Most times it's best to start the songs not have you tell us what the song is about. Save that for the video if necessary.
You also use the word "like" as a crutch.

[Pax]

killer beat crazy flow
These guys are from NYC but they developed their style while attending college in the south. You can hear both the Northern and the southern influence in the beat and lyrics. If you want to develop yourself you are going to have to step outside your shell.

[Al B. Sure!]

I'm here and I do appreciate taking the time to respond with so much.

I'm puzzled. In every response, you say there's a lack of authenticity but then you say this:

I know it's fiction but most rap is and as long as we're telling a story let's make it a good one.

I'm not sure what I can work with here. I posted songs about me not getting women but I doubt that that authenticity would make a difference in my appraisal.

What can I do concrete to improve? I need something tangible.

You say I'm boring but others say I need to tone down the emotion because it sounds too much like I'm talking because I'm stressing too many words. Which one is it? None of this is making any sense.

Your acapella tracks reveal your voice in it's rawest form. You have potential and you have several problems.
1. You are in search of a style.
2. Your lyrical content.
3. Your lyrics/rhyme scheme/flow
4. Your delivery
5. Your backing music is usually boring

What does this mean? What is "Your lyrics/rhyme scheme/flow"? How can that be fixed? That is something that is tangible because it's on the paper.

As always, it's flow and delivery not right. But what about it is not right? How can it be improved?

[Al B. Sure!]

Look, I've heard plenty of people just starting out and they make the same mistakes. They put way too many syllables into each bar and they go off-beat. Those are very common problems so I tell them to not put more than 10 or 12 syllables per line and to put the rhymes on the snares. That corrects both problems.

Something like that is very concrete advice. I need the equivalent of that. What is the equivalent of that to correct my deficiencies?

[Al B. Sure!]

Pax, don't think I'm being callous or that I don't appreciate your help. You obviously spent a lot of time listening and responding. Thank you. Look at my questions and responses as me being very aggressive to improve. Like I want to know what I can do specifically to be better.

[Tupac Shakur]

Something like that is very concrete advice. I need the equivalent of that. What is the equivalent of that to correct my deficiencies?

.

Seeing as I'm the most qualified person here, I'll sacrifice a little of my precious time to set you straight...

1. It's not just your setup; your flow is off and definitely needs work. Try loosening up so you don't sound so wooden and lacking in rhythm.

2. Your rhymes are lazy and sometimes non-existent; definitely need work. Rhyming "bag" with "bag"? Really? You do know that "bag" rhymes with "swag", right, which you use in the chorus and never rhyme with anything? "Fresh" and "death" don't rhyme, and you don't have the skills to make them seem like they do.

3. Your accent (or whatever accent you're adopting for effect) is hard to understand and annoying. You slur your words like Kanye, only you don't have a car accident to blame it on.

4. "See I'm from Philly, so you know I like scrappin'. Puttin' lights out faster than Barry White albums."

Good god, this is terrible. Poorly delivered, doesn't rhyme, and verges on nonsensical. Please change this.

[DaShi]

I think Alpert should just go for shock value alone.

[Al B. Sure!]

Loosing up would be what? Like having sex and drinking?

2. is not relevant. The 'non-existent' rhymes does not apply to anything else but that song.

3. Accent is from Philly. How should I speak? I thought authenticity is important

4. That is a perfectly fine line. Even if it's cringe-worthy to you, there's nothing wrong with that punchline.

[Al B. Sure!]

Loosing up would be what? Like having sex and drinking?

2. is not relevant. The 'non-existent' rhymes does not apply to anything else but that song.

3. Accent is from Philly. How should I speak? I thought authenticity is important

4. That is a perfectly fine line. Even if it's cringe-worthy to you, there's nothing wrong with that punchline.
"And since I brought the Heat, I got them feeling like Delonte West after Lebron James left" I'm sorry that one is hot, too. And the rhyme is hardly non-existent (rhyming Beyonce dress, Delonte West, Lebron James left; those are are polysyllabic rhymes)
Yes, I go for quantity more than quality lately on punchlines but I really don't think the punchlines are a problem. People usually think my punchlines are hot. That is, when I rap them in person. Maybe something is lost by recording.

[Pax]

How come you don't sound like black thought?
I'll get back too you on the authenticity/fiction question

[Al B. Sure!]

How come you don't sound like black thought?
I'll get back too you on the authenticity/fiction question

How come I don't sound like Will Smith?

People don't all have the exact same voice

[Pax]

exactly, so your philly accent is irrelevant.
It's funny that when I think of philly rappers I think Black Thought and you think Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Okay this is what I mean by authentic. Even if you yourself have not sold drugs, had sex, rolling in cash when you rap about it I should believe the story or be able to suspend my belief. Example, I know that Lil Wayne is not a real thug in the sense that he obviously has never sold drugs or killed anyone. However, when he raps he is believable because he has either done research or been exposed to people who have done those things. Then, he lets that come out in his lyrics and voice. His emotion and passion compel me to believe the story.


Another great example is this song by pharoahe monche

[Pax]

AL,
Both of these songs deal with the same topic "shooting and killing someone" but they do it in unique ways. And they have everything that you need to work on..
1. You are in search of a style.
2. Your lyrical content.
3. Your lyrics/rhyme scheme/flow
4. Your delivery
5. Your backing music is usually boring

Also watch when these guys are performing, they are animated. You can feel there energy. Even Rick Ross. When you are rapping you need to get into it. Be committed , attack the track so to speak. Your passion for your song has to come through or else it's boring. Listen to Aretha Franklin, you can feel what she is singing and listen to Method Man and Mary Blige same deal

[Al B. Sure!]

Okay Pax, I really appreciate you taking the time and while I'm sure everything is making sense and is intuitive to you, you're not really helping me You have to understand, you saying things like "be authentic [even when you're talking about something you didn't do or isn't really you], be passionate, etc." are like these empty platitudes that sound good but don't provide me with anything concrete.

You say be emotional but other people say I'm too emotional. I stress too many words and when I just rap what I consider monotonically, they think I sound better. My emotion makes me sound too halting and staccato is what people tell me. I don't flow smoothly; it sounds like stuttering because I'm stressing too many words too hard.

You mention emotion but you cite people like Rakim. Rakim is monotone as hell. That man never strays from the same aggressive cadence.

You bring up Pharaoh Monche. His delivery is way too unorthodox to emulate. The man always sounds off from the beat.

Frankly, I'm lost. Remember my example of what I would tell your typical just-starting-to-rap guy? To shorten his bars to ~10 syllables and to hit the rhymes on the snares of the beat? I need something concrete like that. Something technical. How can I rock the beat from a technical standpoint?

like you say I need to work on:

1. You are in search of a style.
2. Your lyrical content.
3. Your lyrics/rhyme scheme/flow
4. Your delivery
5. Your backing music is usually boring

But what the hell, man? How can I work on that? What is wrong? What exactly is wrong with the rhyme scheme/flow? What would make it better?

[Al B. Sure!]

It's funny that when I think of philly rappers I think Black Thought and you think Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

No, really, I think of Cassidy or State Property.

[Pax]

No, really, I think of Cassidy or State Property.

That's better, I was beginning to be concerned.

[Pax]

Good point about Rakim. With Rakim, I was referring to his rhyme patterns. But also his storytelling ability. Paid in full is a song that I can really relate to because his storytelling ability is just that good. His wordplay is incredible. I've been reciting this since 86-87

I take 7 MC's put em in a line
And add 7 more brothas who think they can rhyme
Well, it'll take 7 more before I go for mine
And that's 21 MC's ate up at the same time

I'm also not advising you to try to copy Pharaohe Monches' delivery just the fact of how passionate he sounds about killing the mayor. When I listen to this song, I believe that this could have happened and also the originality of the song. So I'm talking about two things here original storytelling and passionate delivery.

Passionate delivery. I gave you several examples above to give you and idea of what I mean by passion. I agree that it's an intangible quality. Never the less, it's necessary, if you want to be successful in life period. When I am talking about passion, I am not talking about how you stress your words at all. I see know reason why you would be halting or staccato other than lack of vocal control. Have you ever heard a song that made you cry. Have you ever heard a song that made you mad? Horny? Depressed? Happy? want to dance?
So it starts with the content of your song. After you write your lyrics and read them back you should have some emotional response, you should probably be able to visualize what you are talking about as you read it back. If you read the lyrics and no feeling/ emotions comes to you then this song is a no go. Now lets' say that you read the lyrics and you got some emotional response. Now you must convey that response to the listener, like when you say throw your hands in the air. I never felt like throwing my hands in the air because your lyrics/rap/music did not incite me to party. Now on the other hand when you look at the Dead Prez song hip hop. It hasa better music than your song. it has a passionate delivery with deep lyrics. So maybe passionate can be translated to "I really mean what I'm saying" and that song does incite me to emotions and thought.

I hope this is not to confusing but I would say that the formula for passion would be great music(beat), great lyrics, voice(delivery). I think your songs lack all three. I gave you a recommendation for where to find great music - that should help. I gave you a recommendation - to practice rapping over the beats to great songs - that should help. I gave you the recommendation to use original subject matter or use typical subject matter in an original way - that should help.
P.S. I know that I gave you these specific recommendations so try them and I know that your songs will improve.

[Pax]

Al,
I think that your rap songs would come out better if you first, decided on a goal for the song.
Example. I want this song to make people dance.
Then you picked backing music that made you feel like dancing or at least nodding your head.
Then you go through whatever process you have for making your rhymes.
When you play the song back to yourself if it does not accomplish the goal you had in mind then back to the drawing board.
Another way to figure this out is if you have a friend that knows how to dance and he/she does not want to dance to the song or can't get into the right rhythm on the song then back to the drawing board.

Also take the recent song by Nas and Raekwon. That songs hits on a lot of levels. I can run to it. I can play it in my car. In my headphones and it gets me pumped up. Notice how in the video, Nas is able to rock out with the beat. Your songs should enable you to do the same thing.

[Al B. Sure!]

What do you think about my rap lyrics as spoken word? Just recorded them now for you to hear.

http://soundcloud.com/ramseya/missed...on-spoken-word
http://soundcloud.com/ramseya/a-week-ago-spoken-word
http://soundcloud.com/ramseya/10th-a...in-spoken-word

[Al B. Sure!]

Here, Pax, part of that verse from My Melody you like so much. I spit Rakim's lyrics my way with my own cadence.




I found an instrumental and recorded me rapping to the beat but as a rap acapella. So the above was Rakim as spoken word. This is to the beat but just vocals:



Just trying to explore if it's my voice/delivery/flow or if its my lyrics not matching my voice/delivery/flow.

[Pax]

Not criticizing yet but if you could do the same thing you just did with these songs

[Pax]

I think the PE song fits your voice the best I just want to verify.

[Al B. Sure!]

I did and it all sounds like ass. I don't know the words so it sounds like me reciting it and trying to keep up with the actual rapper.

[Al B. Sure!]

I'm thinking I need to deliver lyrics more song-songy to fix that halting staccato. Probably have less emphasis on multiple syllable rhymes since that also contributes to that 'halting' effect.

[Al B. Sure!]

How's this one?

http://snd.sc/q2OTeI