College Football 2013 Season

[Solomwi]

Oh, relax. We're leaving Okie State for you. God, I hope we're leaving Okie State for you, no matter what else we do.

[Tupac Shakur]

I can't say much in Okie State's favor, but their color scheme would diversify the SEC.

[Guynemer]

There is Tennessee, though.


And red/white is hardly uncommon in the Big Ten: Nebraska, Wisky, and especially Indiana.

[Solomwi]

Well, the West, at least. And right on cue, the FSU rumor gets some legs. Good lord, Slive, do not step on your dick this badly if you're dead set on expansion. The conference already gets paid for bringing the Florida markets. Adding TAMU with one other team is fine, as long as that other team opens up something new. At a glance, VT or OU would make it a good move, aesthetic sensibilities aside. OSU, CU, or FSU would not.

[Tupac Shakur]

There is Tennessee, though.


And red/white is hardly uncommon in the Big Ten: Nebraska, Wisky, and especially Indiana.

Having seen Oklahoma and Nebraska play many times, I can assure you that "crimson & cream" and "scarlet & cream" are pretty easy to tell apart from one another. It's the darker reds like Mississippi State and Alabama wear that might be hard to differentiate from OU.

[Guynemer]

If A&M and FSU to SEC goes through, the Big Ten's next move breaks down with several possibilities:

The ACC gambit: UVA, UNC, Duke, Maryland or Va Tech
The Northeast gambit: Rutgers, UConn, BC, and Syracuse or Pitt or Maryland
The Big 12 gambit: Mizzou, Oklahoma
The Get With The Goddamned Program, Already gambit: Notre Dame and any one to three of the above

[Tupac Shakur]

I'm torn on whether the ACC gambit or the Big 8 gambit is better for the Big Ten. The core ACC schools are collectively superior on almost every level except football value, but we all know that football is what really matters here. Oklahoma is a top-5 football brand and the Big Ten doesn't really have any other plausible football additions on that level.*

Spoiler:

* No matter what DanS may think, Notre Dame is no longer a top-5 football brand.

[Tupac Shakur]

****'s getting real, by the way; the SEC presidents are having a conference call on Sunday and the A&M Board of Regents is meeting on Monday. God help us.

[Tupac Shakur]

Well I'll be damned: a smart Michigan Man...

[Guynemer]

I am now going to attempt something batshit nutty:

Predict the outcome of every game the Big Ten plays this season.


Week 1:

GAME OF THE WEEK--Northwestern over Boston College, in Dan Persa's triumphant return to the field.
Other winners: Wisky, Michigan, MSU, OSU, PSU, Iowa, Purdue, Nebraska, Illinois, and Indiana
Losers: Minnesota (at USC)

Week 2:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Alabama ass****s Penn State; Michigan falls just short in their first rivalry game under Brady Hoke (and first home night game ever), to Notre Dame; Wisky solid, but not spectacular, over Oregon State.
Other winners: Iowa, MSU, OSU, Illinois, Northwestern, Minnesota, Purdue, Nebraska
Losers: Indiana (Virginia)

Week 3:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Luke Fickell suffers his first loss as interim OSU coach, at Miami (2-1); in typical Notre Dame form, they gag after beating Michigan, and get thumped by MSU (3-0); Nebraska avenges an embarrassing bowl loss and smother U-Dub (3-0); Iowa scrapes by Pitt (3-0)
Other winners: Michigan (2-1), PSU (2-1), Indiana (2-1), Minn (2-1), Wisky (3-0), Northwestern (3-0), Purdue (3-0)
Other losers: Illinois (Arizona State) (2-1)

Week 4:

GAME OF THE WEEK: Michigan triumphs decisively over Brady Hoke's former team, San Diego St. (3-1)
Other winners: OSU (3-1), MSU (4-0), PSU (3-1), Wisky (4-0), Illinois (3-1), Iowa (4-0), Minn (3-1), Indiana (3-1), Nebraska (4-0)
Idle: Northwestern (3-0), Purdue (3-0)

Week 5:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Fickell gets his first signature win due to several "Sparty, NO!" moments--OSU 4-1, MSU 4-1. Nebraska gets welcomed to the Big Ten with a trip to Camp Randall, which turns out about as well as such trips usually do--Wisky 5-0, Neb 4-1.
Other games: Michigan (4-1) over Minny (3-2), Illinois (4-1) over NW (3-1), PSU (4-1) over Indiana (3-2)
Other losers: Purdue (Notre Dame) (3-1)
Idle: Iowa (4-0)

Week 6:

GAME OF THE WEEK--Nebraska's first home Big Ten game goes much better than their first road game, as their defensive smothers OSU, and their offense scores just enough to eke out a 3-point win--Neb 5-1, OSU 4-2.
Other games: Ill (5-1) over Ind (3-3), PSU (5-1) over Iowa (4-1), Pur (4-1) over Minny (3-3), Mich (5-1) over NW (3-2)
Idle: MSU (4-1), Wisky (5-0)

Week 7:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Michigan stuns an overconfidant Spartan squad coming off their bye week, and win by three scores in East Lansing--Mich 6-1, MSU 4-2; Northwestern continues their weird voodoo over statistically-superior Iowa--NW 4-2, Iowa 4-2
Other games: UPSET ALERT-- Ill (6-1) over OSU (4-3) (and the fur flies in Columbus), PSU (6-1) over Pur (4-2), Wisky (6-0) over Ind (3-4)
Idle: Nebraska (5-1), Minny (3-3)

Week 8:

GAME OF THE WEEK--MSU continues a bizarre season by once-again ambushing Wisky, winning by 10--MSU 5-2, Wisky 6-1. This ends all chances for an undefeated Big Ten team.
Other games: UPSET ALERT-- NW (5-2) over PSU (6-2) (though a price is paid, as Persa goes down again), Iowa (5-2) over Indy (3-5), Pur (5-2) over Ill (6-2), Neb (6-1) over Minny (3-4)
Idle: Michigan (6-1), OSU (4-3) (and the fires still burn)

Week 9:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Is it possible, OSU at .500? Yup. Wisky cleans their clocks--Wisky 7-1, OSU 4-4; Nebraska continues to make their stadium uncomfortable to Big Ten foes, as "Sparty, NO!" abounds--Neb 7-1, MSU 5-3.
Other games: Iowa (6-2) over Minny (3-5), PSU (7-2) over Ill (6-3), NW (6-2) over Indy (3-6), Mich (7-1) over Pur (5-3)

Week 10:

GAME OF THE WEEK--Michigan, in the past decade, has struggled to win in Iowa City. Hoke's squad makes a game go of it, but falls short. Iowa 7-2, Mich 7-2.
Other games: MSU (6-3) over Minny (3-6), Neb (8-1) over NW (6-3), OSU (5-4) over Ind (3-7), Wisky (8-1) over Pur (5-4)
Idle: PSU (7-2), Illinois (6-3)

Week 11:

GAME OF THE WEEK--Nebraska is upset in their first visit to Happy Valley as a member of the Big Ten, falling on a last second FG--PSU 8-2, Neb 8-2.
Other games: NW (7-3) over Rice, Wisky (9-1) over Minny (3-7), Mich (8-2) over Ill (6-4), Iowa (8-2) over MSU (6-4), OSU (6-4) over Pur (5-5)
Idle: Indiana (3-7)

Week 12:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Nebraska has stuggled on their first set of road trips around the Big Ten, but that ends this week, as does Denard Robinson's season: Neb 9-2, Mich 8-3. OSU continues to turn their season around in a workmanlike victory over JoePa, OSU 7-4, PSU 8-3.
Other games: MSU (7-4) over Indy (3-8), NW (8-3) over Minny (3-8), Wisky (10-1) over Ill (6-5), and UPSET ALERT--Purdue (6-5) over Iowa (8-3).

Week 13:

GAMES OF THE WEEK--Michigan's backup QB, Devan Gardner, shines, as the Wolverines beat the Buckeyes for the first time since 2004: Mich (9-3), OSU (7-5). And Nebraska wins the first ever "Heroes Game" (really?) in dominating fashion--Neb 10-2, Iowa 8-4.
Other games: MSU (8-4) over NW (8-4), Indy (4-8) over Pur (6-6), Ill (7-5) over Minny (3-9), Wisky (11-1) over PSU (8-4).


Final Standings:

Legends Division (or, as EDSBS calls it, "Where's Wisconsin?")
1. Nebraska 10-2 (6-2)
2. Michigan 9-3 (6-2)
3. Iowa 8-4 (4-4)
4. Michigan State 8-4 (4-4)
5. Northwestern 8-4 (4-4)
6. Minnesota 3-9 (0-8)


Leaders Division (or, as EDSBS calls it, "Why's Wisconsin Here?")
1. Wisconsin 11-1 (8-0)
2. Penn State 8-4 (5-3)
3. Illinois 7-5 (4-4)
4. Ohio State 7-5 (4-4)
5. Purdue 6-6 (3-5)
6. Indiana 4-8 (1-7)


Conference championship: It is a lot closer this time, coming down to the final drive, but the Badgers hang on to beat the Huskers once again, in the inaugural conference championship game.

Bowl selections:
1. Wisky
2. Nebraska
3. Michigan
4. Penn State
5. Iowa
6. MSU
7. Northwestern
8. Ohio State
9. Illinois
10. Purdue

[Tupac Shakur]

I am now going to attempt something batshit nutty:

Indeed. How can you think about the season at a time like this?

Legends Division (or, as EDSBS calls it, "Where's Wisconsin?")
Leaders Division (or, as EDSBS calls it, "Why's Wisconsin Here?")

Both accurate and superior to the actual division names.

[Guynemer]

Well I'll be damned: a smart Michigan Man...

What he says makes a certain sort of sense, but the ACC gambit would significantly boost the basketball revenue, if not football revenue. They could ignore the Virginia/Maryland schools, and go for UNC/Duke and Okie/Mizzou. Okie State, not really interested.

[Guynemer]

I am now going to attempt something batshit nutty:

Indeed. How can you think about the season at a time like this?

Legends Division (or, as EDSBS calls it, "Where's Wisconsin?")
Leaders Division (or, as EDSBS calls it, "Why's Wisconsin Here?")

Both accurate and superior to the actual division names.

What do you think? Plausible outcomes?

The supposed competitively-balanced divisions aren't looking so hot in year one, in my opinion. One division has no less that five plausible contenders, while the other has only one, maybe two depending on how you feel about the Buckeyes.

[Tupac Shakur]

What do you think? Plausible outcomes?

Almost boringly so. You may be a little too caught up in Hokemania and little too down on "Ohio", but I didn't find much else to quibble with.

The supposed competitively-balanced divisions aren't looking so hot in year one, in my opinion. One division has no less that five plausible contenders, while the other has only one, maybe two depending on how you feel about the Buckeyes.

I always thought that the quest for "competitively-balanced" divisions was faintly ridiculous given the cyclical nature of program quality. A simple East-West split would've been fine, and would've prevented the embarassment that is the divisions that shall not be named.

[Tupac Shakur]

What he says makes a certain sort of sense, but the ACC gambit would significantly boost the basketball revenue, if not football revenue.

Basketball revenue doesn't matter. If it did, Kansas wouldn't be heading to the Big East.

Okie State, not really interested.

No one is, and the Big Ten shouldn't take them just to get Oklahoma. Leave that to the Pac-12.

[Guynemer]

I can't imagine the Pac-12 is chomping at the bit for Okie State, either. I think the only way they take Okie State is with Oklahoma. I can't see any other plausible expansion for the Pac-12 at this point. Maybe Kansas/KSU?

[Tupac Shakur]

I can't imagine the Pac-12 is chomping at the bit for Okie State, either. I think the only way they take Okie State is with Oklahoma.

Of course. My point is that I think the Pac-12 is willing to take Okie State to get Oklahoma, whereas the SEC and Big Ten are not.

Maybe Kansas/KSU?

Maybe. I don't think the Pac-12 takes any more Big 12 schools without Texas and/or Oklahoma as part of the deal.

[Guynemer]

If the Pac-12 doesn't take any more Big-12 schools without Texas or Oklahoma, and they are unavailable, then who would they take? I honestly see no other plausible options; they already got the only plausible MWC squad, BYU is happy to stay independant... the Pac-12 seems pretty boxed in at this point.

[Tupac Shakur]

If the Pac-12 doesn't take any more Big-12 schools without Texas or Oklahoma, and they are unavailable, then who would they take?

No one; there's no point in expanding beyond 12 teams if you can't pick up any schools who will add enough value to make it worth it for the current schools. The Pac-12's geography definitely limits its options (the Big Ten is in a similar situation, but to a lesser extent), which I think is why Larry Scott was so aggressive in trying to form the Pac-16 last year.

[H Tower]

I say we all blame sloww and call it a day. I'm just hoping at this point that we don't end up with 20 team mega conferences.

[Tupac Shakur]

I say we all blame sloww and call it a day.

[Tupac Shakur]

Fake Dan Beebe is currently drunk tweeting, btw.

edit:

Fake Dan Beebe
if i reachh 5 thousandy followers tonight, ill let folllwer number 5000 pick a school to invite to teh big 12 #drunkbeebeparty

[Tupac Shakur]

I think this video sums up this round of Big 12 drama pretty well.

Spoiler:

Texas A&M = Walter Sobchak
Texas = Larry
Longhorn Network contract = Larry's homework
Big 12 Conference = red Corvette
Kansas State = sloppy bearded guy

[Guynemer]

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS.




As an aside, the music cue into the following scene with them in the car, with the In & Out Burgers? Absolute cinematic mother****ing genius. Of course, much the same can be said for that entire film.

[Tupac Shakur]

This better not be true (and given Greenstein's track record, probably isn't)...

Delany also confirmed to Tribune that SEC expansion would not affect Big Ten -- for now: "We have closed down active expansion."

http://twitter.com/#!/TeddyGreenstei...04605467566080

[Guynemer]

Yeah, I think that goes under blowing sunshine up one's ass.

[MRT144]

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS.




As an aside, the music cue into the following scene with them in the car, with the In & Out Burgers? Absolute cinematic mother****ing genius. Of course, much the same can be said for that entire film.

movies dubbed for cable or network TV are terrible. And I believe it was, fight a stranger, not find a stranger.

[Guynemer]

Not that either of them makes sense, but that makes marginally more. It's such a delightful non sequitir.

[Solomwi]

Word I hear from the SEC presidents' meeting is no to TAMU.

[Guynemer]

Oh my.