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Classroom ninjutsu

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  • Classroom ninjutsu

    Subbed my first class today--sixth grade English. Went pretty well (especially considering I'd never taught anybody anything, or even supervised more than one kid at once, before in my life), until the last period when I almost think the little buggers started conspiring against me. Seriously, one kid would ask me for help with the assignment, and immediately three others would be at the other end of the classroom doing something obnoxious, unnecessary or just mind-blowingly stupid. They coordinated it somehow, the good ones who just need help and the ones who want to do something like tie another kid's shoelaces together.

    And no, I'm not making that one up, one boy actually tied another's shoelaces, from different shoes, together--boy #2 claims he didn't notice. FFS! How do you not notice that? No, I wasn't silly enough to ask, I just split them up, but how, I'm asking? Did he actually notice and think, hey, that sounds fun, I'll be unable to walk? And lemme tell you, it wasn't just a bow, or even a square knot. This child's shoelaces looked like a miniature rubber-band ball.

    The rest of them, thankfully, just got out of their desks and wandered over to "help" kids on the other side of the room, unasked-for. Or just moronic roughhousing between boys. Or girls holding loud conversations with their friends on the other side of the classroom. Could have handled one or two, but they went off one after the other, like firecrackers. It was a bloody tweeny-bopper ambuscade.

    So, I've seen shots from anime where a guy will split into several people. Is there some way to do that in real life? Because I'm damned if I can think of another way to keep twenty kids in line when they don't want to. Unless you have a list of all the bad ones beforehand, and a little corral to keep them in.

    Oh well. Next time will go smoother, I hope. I imagine that, by the last period, any kids will be tired of learning and ready to act like cretins.
    1011 1100
    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

  • #2
    you never taught anybody anything but they gave you job teaching?

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    • #3
      Substitute teacher trying to teach a class? Good luck with that one, Elok!
      "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
      "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

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      • #4
        Substitute teacher. It's not really teaching, it's "here's what your teacher left for you to do, be good kids and don't hit each other."
        1011 1100
        Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Berzerker View Post
          you never taught anybody anything but they gave you job teaching?
          Yeah I'm kind of wondering that one. Could I be a substitute teacher? If Elok can do it, why can't I?
          "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
          "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

          Comment


          • #6
            I've had substitute teachers that actually taught the class, though... sometimes better than the real teacher. If you go in there with confidence and get down to business, kids can be receptive.
            "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
            "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

            Comment


            • #7
              Eh, my substitute teachers were generally bored thirtysomething women and crotchety, lecture-happy old people. At least, once I got past elementary school they were.
              1011 1100
              Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Al B. Sure! View Post
                Yeah I'm kind of wondering that one. Could I be a substitute teacher? If Elok can do it, why can't I?
                You live in Philly. I sure as hell wouldn't want to sub there--certainly not for the middle/high school kids I'll be looking after. But yeah, you probably have the qualifications. They're not that high.
                1011 1100
                Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                • #9
                  A lot of times substitute teachers are college students getting their Masters in Education. In high school, most of our subs were scarcely older than us.

                  We actually had a long-term sub for several months and he would actually play basketball with us during recess

                  There were a few subs who were older. Funnily enough, they were very familiar to us because they were repeat substitute teachers. There was an old Spanish guy who everybody knew because he subbed some class like once a month He was the go-to guy for most classes and everyone was familiar with him.
                  "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
                  "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

                  Comment

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