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  1. #1
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    Cute Girl at Supermarket

    Unlike AS I am pretty damn good at keeping relationships going, but not so good at picking up girls or initiating things. In fact I've never so much as asked a girl for her number when out and about.

    Lately, this incredibly cute cashier at the grocery store I frequent has been looking over at me and smiling a lot when I'm in the store. Obviously I have to man up and talk to her. This is a dumb question, but what do I say? How do I do it?
    Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

    When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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    For this sort of question, we need the help of Pekka.

    Seriously, though, try "hi, what's up" and let it go from there. Treat it as a normal conversation, try to convince yourself to act natural. And slip in, "are you doing anything when your shift ends? I'd love to take you out for coffee/tea/a long philosophical discussion of your kid brother's right to vote later."

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    Tell her you are "kind of a big deal", and "you may remember me from such TV shows as _______________".

    If things go well, you can progress to phase two: Tell her how your apartment smells of rich mahogany and you have many leather-bound books.
    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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    rah's Avatar
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    Note any difference and then comment on it in a positive way. A winner every time.
    'Your hair really looks good this way'. 'nice shoes' BINGO.
    It shows you've been paying attention to her.
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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    weren't you kissing a girl the other day. you slut!
    "The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.

    "The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton

  6. #6
    OzzyKP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C0ckney View Post
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    weren't you kissing a girl the other day. you slut!
    Eh, doesn't look like it is gonna work out with her. Moving on.
    Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

    When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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    SlowwHand's Avatar
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    OR, she can assume you thought her hair looked like crap all this time.
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

  8. #8
    rah's Avatar
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    Funny slow, but yeah you'd think some women would think that but I've never seen a woman not light up brightly after that line.
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.
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  9. #9
    OzzyKP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elok View Post
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    For this sort of question, we need the help of Pekka.

    Seriously, though, try "hi, what's up" and let it go from there. Treat it as a normal conversation, try to convince yourself to act natural. And slip in, "are you doing anything when your shift ends? I'd love to take you out for coffee/tea/a long philosophical discussion of your kid brother's right to vote later."
    I'm not terribly good with small talk or initiating conversations with people I don't know. (i.e. the whole problem)

    Plus, she is a cashier, so whatever I say I'm probably gonna say while in the checkout lane with people behind me and her ringing me up. Unless I hang around for an hour or two waiting for her to go on break, but that'd just be super creepy, no way would I do that.
    Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

    When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

  10. #10
    OzzyKP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rah View Post
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    Funny slow, but yeah you'd think some women would think that but I've never seen a woman not light up brightly after that line.
    Also, it'd have to actually be true. I don't remember details on how she does her hair or what shoes she wears.
    Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

    When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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    Asher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OzzyKP View Post
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    Also, it'd have to actually be true. I don't remember details on how she does her hair or what shoes she wears.
    Then how interested in her could you be?
    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

  12. #12
    rah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asher View Post
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    Then how interested in her could you be?
    Ding ding ding ding ding ding
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

  13. #13

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    just go and buy some groceries when the store is about to close, or when you know it's really quiet. also, the fact that you won't have much time will disguise the fact that you're crap at small talk.
    "The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.

    "The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton

  14. #14
    rah's Avatar
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    And after a few compliments, she'll be looking forward to seeing you in the future. I'd be willing to bet that after a few more comments, she'll initiate conversation. Once she does that, asking her to go for a quick cup of coffee is easy. Who cares what the people in line think. Most of them will probably be envious anyway.
    "If black people robbed you, I'd not consider it prejudice for you to be angry at black people in general" - Ben Kenobi
    Lessons in Christianity.
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

  15. #15
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    Ozzy, it appears that the problem is an excess of thinking. Now you've talked yourself out of it, for reasons that are all in your imagination.

    Just establish a verbal starting point. The fact that she's a cashier works to your advantage, because you are gone before the conversation can break down into awkward pauses. Try something along the lines of "Hello, how's it going today?"

    Once speaking with you is an established ritual, you can move on to advance topics, like names.
    Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
    RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

  16. #16
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    SHE PROBABLY HAS A NAME TAG!
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

  17. #17
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    Do absolutely nothing, move on with your life. Forget about this silly "girl" business. Go play a video game, order a pizza, and listen to AAHZ music for the next 5 years.

    I WILL!
    "But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me."Jesus Christ; Luke 19:27
    "Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives ravished." - YHWH; Isaiah 13:16

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    "Excuse me, do you have anything larger than Extra Large Magnums?"

    ACK!
    Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

  19. #19
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    Pull her hair, but not too hard. Run away giggling

  20. #20
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    Does she work at Safeway? If so, when she asks you for your club card tell her you forgot it at home and give her a slip of paper with your phone number on it.

    SP
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  21. #21
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    Lean close to her and say "you smell even better than you look".
    I'm not a complete idiot: some parts are still missing.

  22. #22
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    You guys are creepy.
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlowwHand View Post
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    You guys are creepy.



    You're just figuring that out now? Look how fast we scared Eco away.
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

  24. #24
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    Fake it until you make it. I find myself having to dust off some unused skills lately myself.
    I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
    [Brandon Roderick? Never heard of him.][Hanged from Yggdrasil]

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    Dude, just ask for her number/when she gets off. Women decide whether they're interested within the first 30 seconds just like men. Don't be creepy, be friendly, smile. If she says no there's probably not much you could have done.
    12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
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    Killing it is the new killing it
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    Quote Originally Posted by OzzyKP View Post
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    Also, it'd have to actually be true. I don't remember details on how she does her hair or what shoes she wears.
    It doesn't actually have to be true. Remember, this is just an excuse to start talking to her. You could say something like "Did you do something different with your hair? I kinda like it". If she's interested in you she won't give a hoot whether it's true or not.
    ...people like to cry a lot... - Pekka
    ...we just argue without evidence, secure in our own superiority. - Snotty

  27. #27
    Al B. Sure!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OzzyKP View Post
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    Eh, doesn't look like it is gonna work out with her. Moving on.
    I thought you were 'pretty damn good at keeping relationships going'?
    "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
    "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by OzzyKP View Post
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    I'm not terribly good with small talk or initiating conversations with people I don't know. (i.e. the whole problem)

    Plus, she is a cashier, so whatever I say I'm probably gonna say while in the checkout lane with people behind me and her ringing me up. Unless I hang around for an hour or two waiting for her to go on break, but that'd just be super creepy, no way would I do that.
    You don't need an hour to flirt and express interest.
    A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

  29. #29
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    Is she a minor, working in a grocery store and all?
    "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
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  30. #30
    Al B. Sure!'s Avatar
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    My suggestion, for what it's worth, is to not over-think it. If you think she's looking at you, then you really don't have to do that much. But if it turns out it was in your head or other things are going on and she's not interested, don't sweat it. If you didn't notice little things about how her hair was, etc., you're not that interested to get hung over on a rejection.

    I would suggest just making a comment and having a short conversation. The situation with other customers, her working, and the fact that you won't be able to having a lengthy conversation is very much to your advantage! You can go a number of ways here.

    You can go the innocent, casual route and just comment on something about the supermarket or the job or the food you're buying (have you ever had this before? You think it's good?) even just how is she doing (she might just say fine here so you need to keep the conversation going... maybe say something BRIEF but INTERESTING about your day).

    You can go the compliment route and imply interest without stating it. Compliment her hair. NEVER say anything like you look pretty. Compliment on something specific like her hairstyle. You could in theory just make that compliment and keep it moving then the next time you're in there (NOT the next day, by the way!), she'll probably be more open to talk or may initiate conversation.

    You can also go direct and try to get the number right away but I honestly wouldn't suggest this if the only words you two have exchanged have been the total and whether you want plastic or paper. If you do choose this route, or you'll use it later down the line, you have to be confident and have a plan of what you want to do. For example, Give me your number and if you're free on Saturday, we can go and see that such and such movie. See that? ASSUME THE SALE! You're not asking for her number or giving her yours, you are TELLING her to give it to you and you already have a plan for what to do. If she says she can't do Saturday, don't go all "well what about sunday or friday? or when are you free? Oh my god, are you ever available when i'm available?! Do you like me or not?! FREAKOUT!" Your best bet is to just say, oh maybe some other time and keep it moving. If she's not interested, you save face, and if she is but she couldn't do that day, she now knows you're interested but not TOO interested.
    "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
    "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

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