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So, Canada is basically like a crap Australia?

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  • So, Canada is basically like a crap Australia?

    I'm mainly posting this because I said to KrazyHorse that if I wanted to troll him (and Asher) so he couldn't resist posting I'd just post something like this thread, and even if he knew that's what I was doing he still wouldn't be able to help himself from responding.

    So let the "does KrazyHorse have any self control?" challenge commence!

    1. Sports

    Australia participates on a competitive level with the world in the 3 most popular team sports. Former Cricket and Rugby World champions, regulars at the football world cup. They can also produce Olympic athletes (who, if they take drugs are better at not getting caught), world class tennis players, Gold medal winning field hockey teams, world class swimmers etc. etc. etc.

    All Canada can do is be (usually) slightly worse than the US at Ice Hockey, and participate in a few minority sports for special people who live in cold places where their main competitors are Scandinavians and people who live in bits of the US that are more like Canada.

    Not only that but when Canada does produce a half decent sports person they just come and represent the UK! Greg Rusedski, Lennox Lewis, Owen Hargreaves etc. This is because Canada sucks at sport.

    2. Quebec

    This sort of goes without saying, even if the rest of Canada was more awesome than Australia, Australia doesn't have an entire quarter of the country turned over to being a sad mockery of Frenchness that even the French despise.

    3. Serving me beer

    Australia dedicates itself to sending tens of thousands of it's young women and men to the UK every year to work in bars and serve me beer. These tanned, fit young things (years away from their first melanomas) also get incredibly drunk and shag anything that moves. I don't see Canada taking one for the team and servicing the Motherland with it's best and brightest.

    4. Accents

    As grating and annoying as the Australian accent can be, with that infuriating upward inflection, at least they don't just sound like slightly retarded Americans.

    5. Mounties

    Seriously WTF?

    6. Wine

    Canada might produce tiny quantities of great Ice Wine but Australia is an international wine juggernaut producing everything from cheap tasty plonk to ultra high quality premium wines. Every UK supermarket is lined with dozens of great Australian selections. I've never even seen a Canadian wine.

    7. Deadly Wildlife

    Australia has dozens of varieties of deadly snakes, spiders and great white sharks. Canada has a bunch of cute fluffy wuffy little polar bears. Aaah. Are you scared of a poor ikkle cuddly bear?



    8. GDP. Australia absolutely kicks Canada's arse with an extra $885 in GDP per capita.

    Canada

    GDP (PPP) 2009 estimate
    - Total $1.281 trillion[5]
    - Per capita $38,025[5]

    Australia

    GDP (PPP) 2009 estimate
    - Total $851.170 billion[7]
    - Per capita $38,910[7]

    9. The powerful neighbour.

    Australia is it's regional power, it's nearby cousins in New Zealand slightly bitter at their local rival's international influence and sporting achievements. It tries to channel it's energy into a sporting rivalry and celebrates any victory in even the most niche of areas. Canada is New Zealand to the USA's Australia. Canada can never get over the fact that it is just a little bit worse in every way than it's southern neighbour and that's a pain they can never lift.

    Many young talented, intelligent Canadians are drawn south of the border to find decent education and good jobs. Because Canada just plain sucks.

    10. Sugar Tits

    Crocodile Dundee, Mad Max, iconic Australian heroes playing Australians. Sure there are loads of Canadian actors, but they only do well 'cause they can pretend to be Americans. Admittedly some Australians do that but when's the last time you saw the hero of a movie be a Canadian playing a Canadian? And I don't mean some **** Canadian film that no-one outside Canada has ever heard of.

    I'm sure you guys can think of many more reasons. I'll stop there. I'm no fan of Australia, but as an unbiased observer it's clear that Australia wins hands down.
    Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
    Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
    We've got both kinds

  • #2
    Australia is way crappier then Canada. It has less water and everyone know deserts are where ****ty people live.
    Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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    • #3
      Brilliant Oerdin thank you!

      So Oerdin thinks I'm wrong, further supporting my argument.
      Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
      Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
      We've got both kinds

      Comment


      • #4
        I mean Canada is plenty crappy trying to pretend they aren't really Americans yearning to be annexed by god's true country, they even try to invent their own Thanksgiving knowing full well they're just copying American traditions as they always do, they even have their own baseball times knowing full well they are in the national league and so are already part of the US. Yes, it is sad to see Canadians in such a state of denial but it is their natural purpose in life and they know their sole purpose is to join the greater North American Union.
        Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by MikeH View Post
          Brilliant Oerdin thank you!

          So Oerdin thinks I'm wrong, further supporting my argument.
          I supported your argument. That should give you pause.
          Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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          • #6
            You just argued with yourself.

            I think you're ruining my thread.
            Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
            Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
            We've got both kinds

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by MikeH View Post
              6. Wine

              Canada might produce tiny quantities of great Ice Wine but Australia is an international wine juggernaut producing everything from cheap tasty plonk to ultra high quality premium wines. Every UK supermarket is lined with dozens of great Australian selections. I've never even seen a Canadian wine.
              Australia might produce bulk quantities of nonpremium wine no one other then a brit would drink but, trust me, it all sucks, we Californians know good wine that's not it. Stupid, Brits. Even the French know wine better then you, and having the French do anything better then you is a national embarrassment. Still, we invite you to relax with a Californian wine and some excellent Californian cheese while you ponder you're national inadequacies.
              Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by MikeH View Post
                You just argued with yourself.

                I think you're ruining my thread.
                Nonsense. I support you being wrong. That is only natural and expected given how wrong you are. I mean trees actually grow in Canada while nothing grows in Australia. Proof you are wrong.
                Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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                • #9
                  Then there is the fact that Australians have criminal DNA and are born thieves while Canadians might be stupid but know which side their bread is buttered on.
                  Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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                  • #10
                    A Brit applauding the Australians?

                    Both are wanna be Americans these days.

                    Get yer head out of Uncle Sam's ass.
                    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
                    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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                    • #11
                      Australians are wish they drove American cars. They've had the same desire for 40 year just like Canadians.
                      Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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                      • #12
                        Let's make it clear, I'm not applauding the bloody aussies, just that they are less crap than Canada.
                        Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
                        Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
                        We've got both kinds

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Oerdin View Post
                          Australia might produce bulk quantities of nonpremium wine no one other then a brit would drink but, trust me, it all sucks, we Californians know good wine that's not it. Stupid, Brits. Even the French know wine better then you, and having the French do anything better then you is a national embarrassment. Still, we invite you to relax with a Californian wine and some excellent Californian cheese while you ponder you're national inadequacies.
                          Further proving that most Americans don't know anything about food or drink produced and consumed outside America.



                          The influential wine critic Robert Parker, who is well known for his love of Bordeaux wines, has written that Grange "has replaced Bordeaux's Pétrus as the world's most exotic and concentrated wine".[13]
                          Beter than Pétrus, but not good enough for Oerdin.
                          Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
                          Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
                          We've got both kinds

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Oerdin View Post
                            Australia might produce bulk quantities of nonpremium wine no one other then a brit would drink but, trust me, it all sucks, we Californians know good wine that's not it. Stupid, Brits. Even the French know wine better then you, and having the French do anything better then you is a national embarrassment. Still, we invite you to relax with a Californian wine and some excellent Californian cheese while you ponder you're national inadequacies.

                            Californian wine is quite OK, but our run-of-the-mill $10 bottles of wine are often quite delicious - full flavoured and smooth.

                            One thing I noticed in the US is that they bottle their crappy wine with twist-top bottles, and cork their good wine. That bias is almost reversed in Oz, as our wine makers have found that it is a better seal, with zero chance of post-bottling contamination, unlike the traditional cork.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MikeH View Post
                              Beter than Pétrus, but not good enough for Oerdin.
                              He's a Brit so obviously he was born wrong just like you folks boiled food for centuries.
                              Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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