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So i went to a psychic today, and they told me that i had an unusual past..... come to find out about it, guess what, DUN DUN DUN. 
Before you dismiss this as the ranting of a psychotic, or the ravings of a schizophrentic, imagine what this means for everyone?
Yup not the second coming or third of fourth, no no 100s of comings later i find myself unable to perform any miracles, highly cynical, isolated, so not what people expect that I have only laughter to heal!!
Yup this is my latest update. Bet some of you wondered what happened to me (only because no one over leaves the OTF). giggles
As my first order of business I hold a big shame on you to all the people, that constantly quote me and can't get my main message right? WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. ok maybe it was the prose, but it means treat people (everyone) with love and dignity (and fairness) like you would want to be treated yourself.
Ok next thing, the crusades hmm generally not a good idea to fight in the name of god, as that will get you sent to a place you won't like faster then anything else. But i may consider letting it slide as i hate copycats *cough* (thatwhichshallnotbenamed) and you attempted to thwart the expansion of people who got an ever more wrong interpretation of the message, enough with killing for Christ's sake (no pun intended).
Third thing, Catholic Church, while i agree its a usefull idea to perpetuate larger families to keep the faithful safer in numbers, cut the crap with the lies about safe sex, do i really care who you have sex with so long as it is able to and does consent. Encourage familes, but don't be stupid about it. Oh i'll let you keep the silly hats too.
Fourth thing, Capitalism. Come to think of it didn't I mention something about rich people not being likely to make it to heaven.... don't recall having a conversation about cheat thy neighbor and profit off of them, course with the ability to turn water to wine they're are many um odd things that can happen ie: TOO MUCH WINE.
5th thing, Bigotry, see 1st thing, and if you still don't get it, remember the movie, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter? ...something like that... you make me want to shoot things.
6th thing, prayer, i could biitch smack Constantine for his stupid lil council, anyways you don't need a church to worship god, but if you like praying along side others thats fine, just don't force everyone, what about "FAIR" = FORCE (answer*nothing*).
7th thing, Atheists, go ahead and continue not to believe in me or anything for that matter, but can you cut it out with the FORCING people to do as you want, i mean your belief system sounds like a religion at its extremes, I mean you've done some good from keeping people who yap about the wrong messages from being in power, but cut the crap about forcing crosses off graveyards and accident sites, let people grieve, how they need to, its just proper ettiquite, where is your humanity? (oh i forget your to busy pretending to be monkeys)
8th thing, Churches, as amusing as it would be to me for everyone to flock to me, i think you can keep em, just focus on making people good people, and non of this crap about salvation is the only way to heaven. You know what salvation is, its being a good person, so try to get that right at least.
9th thing, history, a lot has been said and done, that was or wasn't true. (I'll give you some answers, yes dinosaurs around with humans, people did used to live to be 100s of years old (till they abused that, so thank your wrinkley skin and acheing bones to your ancestors), atlantis = exists (elsewhere), life on other planets yes, aliens you betcha, aliens in the solar system we share YES!!)-- earth is kinda of a oddball, most lifeforms and civilizations live underground, silly NASA aliens are under ya! Mythological creatures (like greek stuff, goblins, dragons etc) - they existed and some still exist, no you people aren't THAT creative. (btw judas was god, you guys really missed that one, anyways after all of the beatings judas and my plan to take power away from the romans didn't work so well when i lost concentration with my powers. He killed himself bringing me back to life with his sadness, so i could attempt to teach past that incident. So yeah a lot of stuff is really wrong. Just remember a phrase, PERCEPTION OF REALITY IS MORE RELEVANT THEN REALITY ITSELF. sounds makavilian yes, but if people don't want to beleive in something it can eat them and they still won't.
11th thing, exorcisms, yes there are ghosts and demons and worse things, so you can perform these within reason, and I demand you have some good accountability for how its done. None of this stuff that happens in africa where they behead children cause they think witches cast a spell on them and made them into demons. Demons are tricky creatures, they tend to go after the mentally unbalanced (its a good way in this arrogent (about knowledge) society to mask their very existence). Just be humane and use some common sense about it. and no witch hunt see thing #1.
12th thing, other religions, so long as they get the point (and practice) about promoting good and healthy people and society tolerate them, stop this superiority complex you got going, Yes the jews were the chosen people, but it meant for THEN( chosen meant focused on), (cause they were being picked on) think about other peoples that are nowadays moreso and consider that as food for thought., grammer makes such a difference in how things are explained, sheesh. I really should have wrote it all down and made cliff notes.
13th thing, Apocolypse, revelations,--- for the love of god give it up already, I'm here to prevent such things from happening don't bloody hope for em. Crazy people, and they thought i was nutty. If you want it badly enough i guess you could kill most things, but someone will always survive, so just shelf this idea period.
I hope my message of wisdom changes some people lives for the better, maybe if it lasts on, espically in its intent i'll be happy again.
Oh and i know some of you will whine about this being offensive and ludacris, but did you really expect the shabby beard, and the robe?, get over it. I am not going to look like i did 2 millienium ago.
Bye for now and Bless you all.
P.S., sorry for the spelling and occasional grammer problems, this is why i never wrote anything down (big mistake)
Before you dismiss this as the ranting of a psychotic, or the ravings of a schizophrentic, imagine what this means for everyone?
Yup not the second coming or third of fourth, no no 100s of comings later i find myself unable to perform any miracles, highly cynical, isolated, so not what people expect that I have only laughter to heal!!
Yup this is my latest update. Bet some of you wondered what happened to me (only because no one over leaves the OTF). giggles
As my first order of business I hold a big shame on you to all the people, that constantly quote me and can't get my main message right? WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. ok maybe it was the prose, but it means treat people (everyone) with love and dignity (and fairness) like you would want to be treated yourself.
Ok next thing, the crusades hmm generally not a good idea to fight in the name of god, as that will get you sent to a place you won't like faster then anything else. But i may consider letting it slide as i hate copycats *cough* (thatwhichshallnotbenamed) and you attempted to thwart the expansion of people who got an ever more wrong interpretation of the message, enough with killing for Christ's sake (no pun intended).
Third thing, Catholic Church, while i agree its a usefull idea to perpetuate larger families to keep the faithful safer in numbers, cut the crap with the lies about safe sex, do i really care who you have sex with so long as it is able to and does consent. Encourage familes, but don't be stupid about it. Oh i'll let you keep the silly hats too.
Fourth thing, Capitalism. Come to think of it didn't I mention something about rich people not being likely to make it to heaven.... don't recall having a conversation about cheat thy neighbor and profit off of them, course with the ability to turn water to wine they're are many um odd things that can happen ie: TOO MUCH WINE.
5th thing, Bigotry, see 1st thing, and if you still don't get it, remember the movie, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter? ...something like that... you make me want to shoot things.
6th thing, prayer, i could biitch smack Constantine for his stupid lil council, anyways you don't need a church to worship god, but if you like praying along side others thats fine, just don't force everyone, what about "FAIR" = FORCE (answer*nothing*).
7th thing, Atheists, go ahead and continue not to believe in me or anything for that matter, but can you cut it out with the FORCING people to do as you want, i mean your belief system sounds like a religion at its extremes, I mean you've done some good from keeping people who yap about the wrong messages from being in power, but cut the crap about forcing crosses off graveyards and accident sites, let people grieve, how they need to, its just proper ettiquite, where is your humanity? (oh i forget your to busy pretending to be monkeys)
8th thing, Churches, as amusing as it would be to me for everyone to flock to me, i think you can keep em, just focus on making people good people, and non of this crap about salvation is the only way to heaven. You know what salvation is, its being a good person, so try to get that right at least.
9th thing, history, a lot has been said and done, that was or wasn't true. (I'll give you some answers, yes dinosaurs around with humans, people did used to live to be 100s of years old (till they abused that, so thank your wrinkley skin and acheing bones to your ancestors), atlantis = exists (elsewhere), life on other planets yes, aliens you betcha, aliens in the solar system we share YES!!)-- earth is kinda of a oddball, most lifeforms and civilizations live underground, silly NASA aliens are under ya! Mythological creatures (like greek stuff, goblins, dragons etc) - they existed and some still exist, no you people aren't THAT creative. (btw judas was god, you guys really missed that one, anyways after all of the beatings judas and my plan to take power away from the romans didn't work so well when i lost concentration with my powers. He killed himself bringing me back to life with his sadness, so i could attempt to teach past that incident. So yeah a lot of stuff is really wrong. Just remember a phrase, PERCEPTION OF REALITY IS MORE RELEVANT THEN REALITY ITSELF. sounds makavilian yes, but if people don't want to beleive in something it can eat them and they still won't.
11th thing, exorcisms, yes there are ghosts and demons and worse things, so you can perform these within reason, and I demand you have some good accountability for how its done. None of this stuff that happens in africa where they behead children cause they think witches cast a spell on them and made them into demons. Demons are tricky creatures, they tend to go after the mentally unbalanced (its a good way in this arrogent (about knowledge) society to mask their very existence). Just be humane and use some common sense about it. and no witch hunt see thing #1.
12th thing, other religions, so long as they get the point (and practice) about promoting good and healthy people and society tolerate them, stop this superiority complex you got going, Yes the jews were the chosen people, but it meant for THEN( chosen meant focused on), (cause they were being picked on) think about other peoples that are nowadays moreso and consider that as food for thought., grammer makes such a difference in how things are explained, sheesh. I really should have wrote it all down and made cliff notes.
13th thing, Apocolypse, revelations,--- for the love of god give it up already, I'm here to prevent such things from happening don't bloody hope for em. Crazy people, and they thought i was nutty. If you want it badly enough i guess you could kill most things, but someone will always survive, so just shelf this idea period.
I hope my message of wisdom changes some people lives for the better, maybe if it lasts on, espically in its intent i'll be happy again.
Oh and i know some of you will whine about this being offensive and ludacris, but did you really expect the shabby beard, and the robe?, get over it. I am not going to look like i did 2 millienium ago.
Bye for now and Bless you all.
P.S., sorry for the spelling and occasional grammer problems, this is why i never wrote anything down (big mistake)
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