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101 tips for leaving a suicidal girl.

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  • 101 tips for leaving a suicidal girl.

    Anyone got any tips?
    be free

  • #2
    I can't help you. Women only turn suicidal after I leave them.

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    • #3
      Well I think thats part of the reason, she can sense that I've had enough.
      be free

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      • #4
        You could always commit suicide first, just to completely humiliate her.*

        *Black humour. Do not take seriously.

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        • #5
          Commit suicide together. That's very romantic.

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          • #6
            I think you stumped Google. 101 ways to leave a suicidal girl offers little result.
            Turn her in as a nut case is about it.
            Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
            "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
            He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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            • #7
              I stumped Google? ****, now I know I'm screwed.
              be free

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              • #8
                Perhaps Homer J. Simpson had the solution for once.

                "Three little words: I Am Gay."

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                • #9
                  Oh, common, thats so easy: Give her a good-quality rope and a ladder. Or a knife and a bucket. Or just the bucket - full of sleeping pills. Move to 5th floor and ask her to sit on the window sill with the window open. Take pictures of nearby bridges, print them and label them with estimaied ´chances of success´-percentages. Throw dollar notes on the rail-tracks when you have a walk with her.

                  What? You think thats cruel?

                  Alternatively: Knock her up and dissappear... Think that´s better ?

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                  • #10
                    Man up and tell her that you're not into suicidal girls.
                    B♭3

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Q Classic View Post
                      Man up and tell her that you're not into suicidal girls.
                      Bah. Suicide girls are hot!
                      Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                      "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                      • #12
                        Leaving a suicidal girl is only more difficult than leaving a normal girl if you care what she does after you've left. Don't.
                        Solomwi is very wise. - Imran Siddiqui

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                        • #13
                          Leave suddenly and without warning taking all that belongs to you. Make sure to place a life-sized cardboard cutout of yourself in the bed with her before you leave.

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                          • #14
                            I'd suggest a long Dear Jane letter blaming her for everything.
                            "The French caused the war [Persian Gulf war, 1991]" - Ned
                            "you people who bash Bush have no appreciation for one of the great presidents in our history." - Ned
                            "I wish I had gay sex in the boy scouts" - Dissident

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Riesstiu IV View Post
                              Leave suddenly and without warning taking all that belongs to you. Make sure to place a life-sized cardboard cutout of yourself in the bed with her before you leave.
                              No, of course you should take all that belongs to her also: it's not like she can take it with her. Especially if you leave a pile of razor blades next to the bathtub.
                              Unbelievable!

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