Beyond the Pit [Pitboss Diplomacy Game] [Story Thread]

[OzzyKP]

A dramatic retelling of the birth of rock retold in the book of Angus:

In the beginning
Back in nineteen fifty-five
Man didn't know about a rock 'n' roll show
And all that jive
The white man had the smoltz
The black man had the blues
No one knew what they was gonna do
But Tchaikovsky had the news
He said -
"Let there be sound", and there was sound
"Let there be light", and there was light
"Let there be drums", and there was drums
"Let there be guitars", and there was guitars
"Let there be rock"
And it came to pass
That rock 'n' roll was born
All across the land every rockin' band
Was blowing up a storm
And the guitarman got famous
The businessman got rich
And in every bar there was a super star
With a seven year itch
There were fifteen million fingers
Learning how to play
And you could hear the fingers picking
And this is what they had to say
"Let there be light"
"Sound"
"Drums"
"Guitar"
"Let there be rock"
One night in a club called `The Shaking Hand'
There was a ninety-two decibel rocking band
The music was good and the music was loud
And the singer turned and he said to the crowd -
"Let there be rock"

[Pitboss Vikings]

Alvins Diplomacy

Alvin sat with the Natives and showed them his great drawings to learn the words so they could communicte.


They learned the words for BEAR..



The dreaded lion rampaging the world. Alvin stressed with dancing and much movement how much the Oldonians hated this beast.

He then drew pics of Oldonian men to and got the Natives to draw pic of their kind to compare.



And finally the women were drawn too,



After this they drunk lots of the Oldonian native brew made from fermenting local fruit.

Long into the night they learnt from each other.

[OzzyKP]

The Birth of the Metalheads

The new tribe prospered under Chuck Berry. With their mastery of rock, their military might was unparalleled. Rock became much more than just a tool, much more than a weapon. It became incorporated into their music and indeed became a legendary status among their people. The people respected and worshipped mountains, rocks and boulders of all kinds.

In their view, the beats and rhythms that united them came from the rock. Life itself came from the rock. Man was born from rock and one day would die and rejoin the rock from whence he came. Life, like rocks, were cyclical and round. It was upon this rock solid foundation that a new religion was founded. The religion was based on rock but it was multi-faceted, like a beautiful gem. The people worshipped many gods.

Chuck Berry’s successor, Elvis took this faith to new heights. Under his watch the new nation grew and prospered. While the tribe hadn’t yet established a true hereditary monarchy, Elvis was declared the King of Rock. He was a powerful and feared ruler.

But he was also a wise ruler and brought in several other tribesmen to help him rule over the people. His warchief was Jiles Richardson, the best rock thrower in the tribe. He could bop a rabbit on the head with a stone from 60 yards. He was known universally as the Big Bopper. Elvis’ medicine man was Buddy Holly, named for the many potions and medicines he made out of holly and other herbs. Together they brought peace to his people.

But peace would not last forever.

A dangerous tribe was growing in the north, a tribe calling themselves “Earth”. Like the western country before them, they envied the success of the rock followers. To them it seemed the tribe had grown soft under the prosperous rule of King Elvis. They had darker plans in mind.

The northern clan was led by four men. Bill Ward, Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi, and Geezer Butler. Ozzy was their leader. They led their tribe south along the shores of the great sea, they sought more fertile lands and... the riches of the Rockers. Soon they approached the lands of King Elvis. A red sun rose in the sky. The sleeping village of the rockers lay before them. Ozzy heard the cockerels cry in the distance. A soft breeze blew through the trees. They approached the town on a Sunday.

The four men looked over the seemingly peaceful, sleeping village. Ozzy began to speak, quietly at first but louder and louder as he continued, “The world today is such a wicked thing, fighting going on between the human race, people give good wishes to all their friends while people just across the sea are counting the dead.”

“They will know justice,” said Tony.

Elvis sent out a force of armed men to meet the foreign tribe. The Big Bopper led the warriors to meet Earth head on. Their expert rock throwers tensed for battle.

Ozzy walked out to meet the Big Bopper.

“Our people appreciate your culture, your religion and your music. Your people are rich and well fed. Your women are happy. We come from beyond the sea and are not as fortunate as you. Our lands are cold and barren. Our people struggle to survive. Our children die in their mother’s arms while your people gorge yourselves and collect your precious sparkling rocks. I do not ask you for your pity, I do not request charity. I am just here to explain that we have been hardened by our lives and will do what we must to see the survival of our people.”

The Big Bopper gave Ozzy a steely gaze. After some time he replied, “Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?”

Ozzy did not understand his language. The rockers, he thought, were prosperous but spoke an unintelligible tongue. He attempted to continue to communicate, “You have grown soft and complacent. You will follow me now and you will not regret leaving the life you led before we met.”

The Big Bopper, continued on, “Who put the bop in the bop sh-bop sh-bop?
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip? Boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity shoo.”

Talking was clearly pointless. Ozzy returned to his people. His warriors pulled out their axes and began to advance. Warchief Bopper struck first. He grabbed a hefty stone from his bag and hurled it at Geezer Butler. It was an excellent throw and hit the Earth commander straight in the side of the head. He fell down from the blow.

Buddy Holly gave the Warchief a satisfied look. Their rocks have kept them safe for years, these foreigners would soon disburse like all others have done before.

But then the inexplicable happened. Butler got up. He was alive! There was no trickle of blood, no large gash, no visible mark except... a strange shiny dent. The Earth tribe continued to advance. The Big Bopper signaled his troops to start lobbing rocks at their approaching foes.

Two or three fell down dead, but most of them shrugged off the hits and kept marching forward. The Warchief couldn’t believe his eyes. How could their powerful rocks fail them? Some strange magic was at work. The Big Bopper was so amazed he never gave the signal to retreat. His men kept slinging rocks but with the same results.

Soon the Earth tribe was upon them. Their sharp bronze axes cut limb from body and head from neck. The blood flowed. The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly were both killed as well as all the men who stood their ground and didn’t run for their lives. It was a massacre.

The men who retreated returned to King Elvis with the horrible news.

“The tribe from the north was invincible! Their heads were made of metal!” exclaimed the frightened soldiers, “The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly are both dead! The Metalheads continue to advance! Our warriors are wiped out!”

The King looked grim. Slowly he turned the information over in his mind. “Well then... today is the day the music died.”

With that, Elvis slowly walked out of his royal hut. He walked to the feeding area, resigned to his fate and the fate of his people. As if in a trance he went about preparing his last meal. He took an entire loaf of bread and hollowed it out. He generously spread the sandwich with peanut butter and an equally thick layer of jelly. Finally, a full pound of bacon was cooked, and fried to crispness, to fill the remaining belly of the loaf.

Elvis then took this massive sandwich and retreated to the place he felt safest – the outhouse. It was there, sitting in the outhouse eating his sandwich that Elvis, the King, died.

[Pitboss Rome]

Originally posted by Pitboss Khmer


Ah it far

strange notion of west. khmer would say eest

ah so many culture to find

It seems our second messenger made a slight mistake, we meant east off course.

[Pitboss Rome]

We send greetings to the second Rus explorer, we again offer our hospitality. The town you gaze upon was constructed by one of our legions in secret several centuries ago. It is under autonomous rule but we have very good relations with it. In a short while we will control it directly like we do the city of outcasts.


It seems our sub (a Roman term for second in command) settled a bit nearer to Antium than we would have liked. Causing a bit of a problem for the overlapping of territories. Well we shall in the future settle in the spot we spoke of. But still it is a waste, our Priest of Apollo says we are falling behind on the "score board" whatever that is... It will also delay any export of sea resources.


The Rus cut off from the sea? I don't quite understand is there not cost land to the northwest? We do not plan to expand eastwards from the legion's city in the northern regions, surely there is room for the Rus there? We are bottled in to the west by the harsh desert and have had to in the past find room for our people. We did not know at that point that there where other civilized people in the world.

[Pitboss Rome]

The Roman command Cornelius looked to the horizon. What is this? Another Rus expedition?

No sir, it seems to be one of a unknown people! Our scout reports they speak a different language than the Rus. He also said that it is similar enough to Latin to understand if spoken slowly.

Why would they be using a corrupted Latin? A mystery indeed, perhaps our two people are somehow related? No matter, we shall welcome them as we did the Rus. By the Gods! So much is happening in so short a time! Send another group of citizens with fresh supplies to greet them. It appears we shall have two feasts today!

[Pitboss Portugal]

As the brave group of warriors was moving deeper in the south, they met a Rus messenger. Doche immediately stepped forward and greeted this strange fellow. While they were talking the warriors decided to scout out the area. What they stumbled on was a village, but not a Russian one, but of some other unknown origin. The leader of the warriors was shocked to see a village so close to our tribal borders. He immediately ordered one of the warriors to scout out the village surroundings and report back his findings. The warriors dispatched another warrior to go back to Korecom and report to Lord Meto these latest developments:

1. The Russian messenger has been met and all is going well.
2. Foreign people have settled near our borders, an alarming act! Currently we are investigating.
3. We await orders Lord Meto

[Pitboss Celts]

Traveling southeast along the coast, the Celtic scouts have met men from Khmer. Meeting atop a hill outside of Khmer, all of them settled down to exchange stories and food. The scouts were amazed by the meat provided by the Khmer warriors. Together they dined telling tales of their gods and kings. Warriors full of metal in their head were seen in the distance. Both parties hailed the warriors to join them. Hopefully they will arrive before the scouts head off again tomorrow morning.

[Pitboss Portugal]

A couple of hours later the scouting warrior returns. He confirms that this is not a Rus village indeed but of another tribe. He adds that the village was situated on a hill overlooking the great southern river. It looks like a military outpost build on a well defended hill aiming to command the local areas.

Warrior's leader speaks

Command the local area JUST ludicrous, these are Portuguese lands. This can no be allowed! I doubt Lord Meto will want to have a foreign tribe in our backward.

Warrior's leader speaks

This is an act of aggressive over expansion. Send a messenger to Doche and his new Rus friend. Inform them of our discoveries. See if the Rus have encountered this aggressor and what advices or even aid they may offer us.

Warrior's leader speaks

Men prepare your clubs, and sleep well. These foreigners better have some kind of explanation.

So the warriors decided to camp out side the hill village and wait for orders from back home.

[Pitboss Rome]

From: King Romulus of Rome
To: The leader of the Port-Gauls

It appears you are alarmed by our town, we do not understand this, the town has been there for half a millennium. We have no plans to settle beyond it. Your posturing for warfare is not needed. We send you welcome and this is how we are treated? Our nation is on the edge of a vast desert, the Rus can confirm this, we are not over-expanding, our people have simply settled unclaimed arable land near to our home. In any case it is a mining colony not a military outpost.

We leave for a long voyage. During the next 10 days Robert the Cyberian our sub will handle our foreign relations. Unless he delegates it to someone else such as Ozzy the Younger...

[Pitboss Vikings]

The foreigners left as fast as they arrived. The Oldonians peoples were amazed at how fast the foreigners could travel. One minuite they were there talking to you, the next they had travelled vast distances,

Back in the palace the feast of welcome was cancelled as there was no one to celbrate with.

The Hardy boys travelling through the Great Forrest had found its southhern edge many man miles south of the city and the Great Mountain.

No more lions had been discovered in over a century now.

[Pitboss Portugal]

A small bulky man runs to the camp:

Big Brother warrior, we have just received a message from the foreigners. They are telling us to stop posturing.

We are not posturing my small brother; we are just chilling around the camp fire.

The warrior than asks:

Any news from Lord Meto

None yet!

The warrior leader:

It has been a couple of days now, and the days are growing shorted, winter approaches. We need more than a camp. Warriors, build me a wall and some watch towers, we need to keep an eye on this barbarians until word from Meto comes. Our camp is ill protected against wild beast and these so called romans.

The warrior leader:

Young warrior return at once to the hills surrounding the roman outpost and observe every move they make.

[Pitboss Japan]

Oda's Order


After years of debate Lord Nobunaga Oda has decided to make contact with the other civs his ninja scouts spotted while exploring the lands to the east of Japan. He sent 4 ships filled with the Oda clan's elite fighters. They were all given the order to find a good position and hold till the last of the elite Oda fighters arrived. After that the army that was under the command of Nagamasa Azie was to go to each civ capital and see if the other civs are peaceful. If welcomed with open arms and respect they were to show the same respect. If shown to be without honor the army was to lay waist to everything around the city and anyone out side the city but all within the city were to be left alone. If attacked first the army was to respond in the deadliest manner. They were to take no prisoners and showed no mercy. They were to burn everything around the city and then move to take the city. Once a city was taken every man woman and child was to be hung until death and the city was to be burned down. If the civ that attacked them asked of peace Nagamasa Azie was under orders to cut off the head of their leader and put it on a pole so they remember what would happen to anyone who crosses the Oda clan. Nobunaga then ordered all ships to form a blockade so if anyone tried to come to Japan they would be destroyed on the spot.

[Pitboss Japan]

Nagamasa was pleased with Nobunaga's orders but he asked to change one thing. Let a scouting party go head of the army so if trouble does ensue the army could devise a plan of attack without the fear of a preemptive stoke. Nobunaga agreed and two ninja form the village hidden in the cloud were sent off as ambassadors for the Oda clan.

[Pitboss Vikings]

With the foriegners now gone, and decades passing, the mmory of the tall dark people was a passing thing. many said it was just an urban myth. it never really occured.

The 1st Brigade of Raz Warriers returned to their hill site and pondered the Dark Forrest ahead. Oh to have warriers with the strength of the mysterious forigener they thought. Then we could scout out the Dark Forrest.

To the south, Hardys boys were still investigating the Great Forrest it was huge. The lair of the lions was still not found , but their blood oath taken years ago led them onwards in search.

The palace continued supplying orders to the labour crew. The nearby forrest ws harvested for wood to help grow the city. The leaders did speak and decryed that the Great One had told them of ways to train the armies of Oldonia. And so a training room was built next to the palace. Now the warriers would learn the techniques of fighting.

The enlightened ones also revealed that the yellow flowers near the palace were actualy not flowers but food. They told the leaders to send the labout camp to harvest this field.

Celebrations were held as the first shiny things from the Great Mountain were brought down into the palace. New knicks knacks were made with this stuff and even worn on the leaders fingers and neck.