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Thread: Need someone to lie for you?

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    Need someone to lie for you?

    Maybe you are having an affair and you need someone to vouch for where you were last night or maybe you took a sick day off from work and your boss wants you to prove you were really sick. If that is the case then Alibi Network is an innovative new web site which can help you.

    Alibi Network is a cutting edge full service agency providing alibis and excused absences as well as assistance with a variety of sensitive issues. We view ourselves as professional advisors who understand our clients’ unique situations. We explore various approaches with our clients and implement the best solution based on each individual case. We understand your need for privacy and we are completely discreet and confidential.

    We all encounter sensitive situations in our life. These may include family problems, social issues, work or financial difficulties. When you don’t want to involve your close friends and relatives for privacy reasons it is time to contact Alibi Network. Let us be your Privacy Partners.

    We Understand The Delicacy of Real World Personal relations and can help you solve any sensitive problems and situations resulting from them.
    For a price Alibi Network will help you lie your way out of almost any situation. What services will they think of next?

    http://www.alibinetwork.com/index.jsp
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    Having a Discreet Affair?
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    Lorizael
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    Now, this stuff is pretty naughty, but I suppose not technically illegal.

    Hiding the fact that someone is engaged in an extramarital affair, however, does seem illegal to me. It's essentially helping someone secretly violate a legal contract. Is that legit?
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    Originally posted by Lorizael


    Hiding the fact that someone is engaged in an extramarital affair, however, does seem illegal to me. It's essentially helping someone secretly violate a legal contract. Is that legit?
    Huh -- I'm married and take my vows seriously but where does a spouse agree legally to not boink someone else??

    Bottom line is that people can do what or whiom they please. These folks sound like facilitators and the business is decidly unsavory but would not be illegal unless they were involved in fraud (ie scams)

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    Entrepreneurship
    What?

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    Winston
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    Stunned

    Need someone to lie for you?


    Considering the originator, I have to say I'm quite stunned this isn't about at least some of the Republican Members of Congress. Unless it is in some very roundabout way, to be revealed as the thread progresses.

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    Flubber
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    Originally posted by Winston
    Need someone to lie for you?


    Considering the originator, I have to say I'm quite stunned this isn't about at least some of the Republican Members of Congress. Unless it is in some very roundabout way, to be revealed as the thread progresses.


    Given my suspicipus nature, I would tend to think this site itself may be a scam ( people pay for nothing and cannot complain or sue for obvious reasons) OR possibly a means by which the alibi network could try to blackmail folks . You probably have to give a fair bit of personal information to them if they will create plausible alibis and they could single out some of the more affluent

  8. #8
    Winston
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    I agree. Never trust people who advertise that they're lying for a living.

    Which by the way brings us back nicely to the subject of Congressional politicians.

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    Originally posted by Flubber
    ... a means by which the alibi network could try to blackmail folks ...
    That was my thought.

    Zkribbler: Good morning. I'm having an affair and I need to have someone to lie for me so my wife doesn't find out.

    Alibi Network: Well, you've come to the right place. Tell me, Mr. Zkribbler, what's your approximate net worth?


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    Lorizael
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    Originally posted by Flubber
    Huh -- I'm married and take my vows seriously but where does a spouse agree legally to not boink someone else??

    Bottom line is that people can do what or whiom they please. These folks sound like facilitators and the business is decidly unsavory but would not be illegal unless they were involved in fraud (ie scams)
    I certainly could be completely wrong, but I don't think I am.
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    haven't read the article, but I hope they aren't providing alibis for criminal court cases.

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    Originally posted by Winston
    Need someone to lie for you?


    Considering the originator, I have to say I'm quite stunned this isn't about at least some of the Republican Members of Congress. Unless it is in some very roundabout way, to be revealed as the thread progresses.
    Given your reputation for being a laughing stock please remember that large numbers of people don't take your opinions seriously. Laz has you pegged.
    "Our scientific power has out run out spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King Jr.
    "A cynical, mercenary, demagogic press will produce in time a people as base as itself."
    - Joseph Pulitzer

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    Winston
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    Who is Laz? Is he the sorry excuse for a poster whom I routinely abuse with ever-decreasing enthusiasm whenever he pops his sneering little face round? And what does he have to do with the comment I made?

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    Yeah... Sure...

    I don't think you've ever come out on top in one of those exchanges of wit with Laz. Actually, exchange isn't the right discription since you always seem so defenseless; it's more of a one sided thrashing.
    "Our scientific power has out run out spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King Jr.
    "A cynical, mercenary, demagogic press will produce in time a people as base as itself."
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    Winston
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    I drove him away from here, which is good enough for me.

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    Dinner
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    No, I believe he opened his own website so he doesn't have much time for posting in the OT any more.
    "Our scientific power has out run out spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King Jr.
    "A cynical, mercenary, demagogic press will produce in time a people as base as itself."
    - Joseph Pulitzer

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    It says in their FAQ's that they will not be involved in anything illgeal. I highly doubt providing an alibi for an affair is illegal - seeing as the afair isn't illegal. Ever hear the term "any 2 consenting adults"

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    Winston
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    That didn't take you long to run and tell, Oerdin.

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    Illegal? Perhaps not, I assume they have good legal advisors aboard, but still, quite immoral. Immoral as in to make this deception your business.

    You need someone to lie for you? Give you an alibi? Rarely these services are needed because you are doing something good. I'm not going to be a moral police, but still, this business is questionable.

    There are lots of implications, for example, a person cheating their spouse, so what? Well, when you make a business of deception, giving them an alibi, in case of divorce or some other conflict, you helped that person to get away with cheating. There might be custody of children involved, and this business just skewed the real situation, therefore putting blinders on the laws that apply.

    If someone goes on about cheating their spouse, by all means do. It's none of my business. But it shouldn't be business business either in my opinion, or at least not glorified business.

    Because the value of your service is pure deception, and that deception is needed to cover up, in most cases things that aren't positive.

    Should it be able to operate? I guess if it doesn't break any laws, why not.

    I just think this kind of thing is similar to bumvertising, where that guy put advertising signs on bums and paid them like 3 dollars A DAY, and claimed to be a good guy. Hey, if you want to be a good guy and claim you help these people, you better pay more than that, because if that's the money you pay, you are not helping, you are exploiting, and there's a difference between helping and exploiting and if you are an exploiter, don't come around as the helper. Be an exploiter and admit it.
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    Originally posted by Winston
    I drove him away from here, which is good enough for me.

    You couldn't drive away a moped, let alone me.
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    Winston
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    Granted, it's not getting any easier when I'm up against Oerdin's one-man cross forum marketing machine.

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    Well, if you managed to drive me away once, it should be easy to repeat the stunt, right? Now you're all experienced at it.

    That's assuming, of course, that I was driven away. Not simply busy with a couple of large financial crime cases, more professional qualifications, and with my expanding family.

    Do you recognise that word? "Family"? It's what people with rounded and fulfilled lives tend to find themselves with. Now, if you're going to drive me away, would you mind making it prompt and stylish?
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    Dis
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    so if we don't have families our lives are unfulfilled?

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    Well as far as I know Winston is a lonely single man in his 40's who smokes too much - he's pretty much said as much on this forum himself...

    I rather think using the term 'unfulfilled' on him would be a kindness.

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    Winston
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    Ooh, that's quite an impressive list of achievements for a man like you, Lazarus and the Gimp. And as always, you convey it in such a nice and humble way. Did you also find time to punch someone in the face lately? If not, and with my prior experience with you, I sincerely doubt that you could honestly consider your miserable existence to be "rounded and fulfilled". Perhaps you're thinking instead of the part of your anatomy located just above your belt?

    I notice that you were not too busy to be vehemently posting away at Counterglow during your extended absence from Apolyton. I'd say something other than the explanation you gave must be the reason for this discrepancy. Not that I'm complaining in any way, mind you. The past six months or so have been delightful without you polluting the forums with your patented incoherent bile.
    Last edited by Winston; December 20, 2006 at 05:47.

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    Stunned

    Originally posted by MOBIUS
    ...a lonely single man in his 40's who smokes too much...
    One could even understand how someone stuck in his situation could be filled with such bitterness...

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    Originally posted by Winston
    Ooh, that's quite an impressive list of achievements for a man like you, Lazarus and the Gimp. And as always, you convey it in such a nice and humble way.

    Impressive? It's just what normal people tend to achieve in their lives. It's really not difficult.


    Did you also find time to punch someone in the face lately? If not, and with my prior experience with you, I sincerely doubt that you could honestly consider your miserable existence to be "rounded and fulfilled". Perhaps you're thinking instead of the part of your anatomy located just above your belt?
    Nope. It's definitely the happy family life, the career, and the satisfaction in my own work. At 155 pounds, I'd need to bulk up somewhat to take satisfaction in plumpness.

    Incidentally, I've still given up the fags. You should try it. It's really easy. I've gone over a year without nicotine now.

    I notice that you were not too busy to be vehemently posting away at Counterglow during your extended absence from Apolyton.
    Are you sure "vehemently" is the word you're looking for? Vehemence can be achieved in a single word, so it's hardly indicative of quantity.

    I'd say something other than the explanation you gave must be the reason for this discrepancy. Not that I'm complaining in any way, mind you. The past six months or so have been delightful without you polluting the forums with your patented incoherent bile.
    Being busy with work and kids is too outlandish a reason? If you say so.
    I could make something up if it'll make you happy. How about getting mauled by a pack of stoats?
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    Have I been driven away by anyone else as well? As I've not been popping by much, I might have missed other ruthless crushings of my every fibre.
    The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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    Winston
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    How about investigating the splendours of a thing called sarcasm when reading other people's posts? Or did the bullies at your elementary school neglect to punch that particular lesson into your little head?

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    Is this part of the driving away? I'm sort of bracing myself for it, but it feels like nothing's happening yet.
    The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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