No WMD, no Saddam-Al Qaeda conection, no grateful liberated masses . . . but now the true reason for the war in Iraq can finally be revealed!
"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum told the Bucks County Courier Times. "It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States."
Less than three weeks until he's voted out of office. Man, I can't wait. I only hope his farewell isn't as interminable as the last reel of Return of the King.
(But for those who remember the poll...no, I'm not going to vote against him twice).
"I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin
I saw this on the Colbert Report. Also, I believe there are some good Keith Olberman clips on YouTube where he just runs this guy into the ground for "finding WMDs" in Iraq....which turned out to be just mustard gas canisters from the Iran - Iraq war long ago.
hey Eroberer, long time no see...weren't we tribalists?
Damn, it's worth re-electing him just for the entertainment value.
He's got the Midas touch.
But he touched it too much!
Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!
In the book, the Eye is being attracted away from Mordor, and towards Gondor. By this metaphor, Santorum is saying that Mordor is America and Gondor is Iraq."As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum told the Bucks County Courier Times. "It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States."
Rick Santorum hates America!
Lime roots and treachery!
"Eventually you're left with a bunch of unmemorable posters like Cyclotron, pretending that they actually know anything about who they're debating pointless crap with." - Drake Tungsten
What about the Ents?
Stop Quoting Ben
Since America is Mordor, Britain must be Isengard, our ally. The Ents attack Isengard, so by Santorum's analogy the Ents are Britain's radical Muslims and the London bombers.Originally posted by Bosh
What about the Ents?
Rick Santorum hates Britain!
Lime roots and treachery!
"Eventually you're left with a bunch of unmemorable posters like Cyclotron, pretending that they actually know anything about who they're debating pointless crap with." - Drake Tungsten
How did this clown get elected in the first place?
Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?
It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok
Who are the Roheam? I'm confused since Rohan was only invaded by Isengard (England).
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Sierra Leone?
Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?
It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok
Gandalfs strategy was to use the war on the Plains of Pelennor to distract from a secret mission into Saurons turf, Mordor. Obviously then, if Baghdad is Minis Tirith, then Iraq is Gondor, fighting off the evil hordes of Al Q - Sauron. Saddam was Denethor, nominally anti Sauron, but finally went loonie. The restored king is the democracy to come in Iraq, but the current Iraqi govt is the confused governing situation in Minis Tirith right after the Battle of the Pelenor fields, with Imrahil and others running things. The US obviously is Rohan, which came to Gondors aid, after having been attacked itself in "The Two Towers"
The Hobbits are a little known and lesser ally. who usually live peacefully by themselves.
Senator Santorum has obviously just blown a Canadian covert op against OBL in Pakistan. Shame on you, Sen Santorum!
"A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber
Actually, it was the march on the Black Gate (Morannon) that was the decoy. The battle of Pellanor fields was of Sauron's choosing, albeit rushed due to Aragorn revealing himself in the Palantir.
*ahem*
Not a bad attempt at it, LotM.
I see the "moths to a flame" theory is being trotted out by the Repubs.
-Arrian
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
[Geek mode]Originally posted by Cyclotron
In the book, the Eye is being attracted away from Mordor, and towards Gondor. By this metaphor, Santorum is saying that Mordor is America and Gondor is Iraq.
Rick Santorum hates America!
Actually no, the plan was to draw Mordor forces to the Black Gate not Gondor. Thus allowing teh gay hobbits to destroy teh ring.
In this analogy, Iraq are the lands previously held by Mordor (Just outside the black gate) not Gondor proper. Gondorian/Rohirim invaders obviously are the American/alliance forces and Mordor/Haradrim axis forces obviously the contemporary forces of Islamic Terrorism.
Now who in this anaology are teh gay hobbits? and what is teh ring? Do we have Richard Simmons poised in a elven burka about to destroy The Black Stone of Kaba?
[/Geek mode]
edit- Damn xposting with other Geeks.
"Just puttin on the foil" - Jeff Hanson
“In a democracy, I realize you don’t need to talk to the top leader to know how the country feels. When I go to a dictatorship, I only have to talk to one person and that’s the dictator, because he speaks for all the people.” - Jimmy Carter
yeah, but that ruins my Imrahil=Nour Al Maliki analogy.Originally posted by Arrian
Actually, it was the march on the Black Gate (Morannon) that was the decoy. The battle of Pellanor fields was of Sauron's choosing, albeit rushed due to Aragorn revealing himself in the Palantir.
"A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber
Ogie's closer. Though he's got problems with the Hobbits/ring at the end. Agreed "coalition" forces = Gondor/Rohan, check. Islamic terror (Islamofacism, no less!) = Mordor, check.
Isenguard... clearly France. Stabbed in the back!
The Dwarves... Israel?LOL JOOZ LOVE GEMS LOL
Hobbits... I like your version - Canada.
Teh Ring = Twisted religious teaching of hate and death.
-Arrian
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
Actually the question of whether dwarves are modelled on Jews has come up in the Tolkien geek community, along with the question of whether JRRT was antisemitic. Turns out he was actually more of a Judeophile.Originally posted by Arrian
The Dwarves... Israel?
More like the Noldor are the Jews, in some senses. Exiled for their sins, making aliyah back to Elvenhome, etc.
Is Gollum a Golem? Is Iluvatar, El - the father?
Or the Numenoreans. Two kingdoms, one in the north, one in the south (though they should have been united). The Davidic lines (oops, the heirs of Elendil) falls from power in the Northern kingdom first, but eventually fails in in the South as well. The lineage is maintained but hidden. "the return of the king" is not looked for, but will mean the end of history. Aragorn is moshiach. Only thing he doesnt do is wake the dead.
"not all those who wander are lost"
"A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber
The Noldor were certainly enamored of gems and were really into metalworking and such.
As for the Numenoreans... nah, the messianic stuff is as Christian as Jewish (clearly, it's from the same root tradition, no?). Although I admit I'm not familiar with the parallel between the lines of David & Elendil.
-Arrian
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
Allright then it has to be Canadian gays looking to destroy the Black Rock. Speaking of which where is Asher?Originally posted by Arrian
Ogie's closer. Though he's got problems with the Hobbits/ring at the end. Agreed "coalition" forces = Gondor/Rohan, check. Islamic terror (Islamofacism, no less!) = Mordor, check.
Isenguard... clearly France. Stabbed in the back!
The Dwarves... Israel?
Hobbits... I like your version - Canada.
Teh Ring = Twisted religious teaching of hate and death.
-Arrian
"Just puttin on the foil" - Jeff Hanson
“In a democracy, I realize you don’t need to talk to the top leader to know how the country feels. When I go to a dictatorship, I only have to talk to one person and that’s the dictator, because he speaks for all the people.” - Jimmy Carter
Programming the robot that will nuke the Rock from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
-Arrian
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
Never mind I see Asher over inthe IE thread talking about his precioussss Windows operating systems again.
"Just puttin on the foil" - Jeff Hanson
“In a democracy, I realize you don’t need to talk to the top leader to know how the country feels. When I go to a dictatorship, I only have to talk to one person and that’s the dictator, because he speaks for all the people.” - Jimmy Carter
The ring is obviously Fossil Oil. Everybody wants it but it corrupts. Especially people from Gondor (=America) are likely to succumb.
"The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
"Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.
Ah-hah! So the Hobbits are actually researchers working on discovering cold fusion or somesuch to get us off oil! BINGO.
-Arrian
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
**** that. We've got our own Ring and we're keeping it. We're more than willing to help you destroy the rest of the world's oil supply, though.
04-06-04 Killdozer NEVER FORGET
Stadtluft Macht Frei
Killing it is the new killing it
Get Rich or Die Tryin'
So the ring is the Koran, but the Koran isn't all powerful. To be the ring it must fit this description:Originally posted by Arrian
Teh Ring = Twisted religious teaching of hate and death.
One ring to rule them all
One ring to find them
One ring to bring them all and
Bind them in the land Mordor (or wherever Mordor is now that we decided America is Rohan)
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We've already moved on to OIL, Will. Do keep up.
-Arrian
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
Which means that the elven rings, powerful before the one ring, but subordinated later, must be coal. Which some say will be liberated when the one ring is destroyed, but others think will fade.Originally posted by Wernazuma III
The ring is obviously Fossil Oil. Everybody wants it but it corrupts. Especially people from Gondor (=America) are likely to succumb.
West Virginia, the Ruhr, the North of England, are Lorien and Rivendell
"A person cannot approach the divine by reaching beyond the human. To become human, is what this individual person, has been created for.” Martin Buber
I was hoping he'd been caught smoking pipe-weed.
(yes, I know it was tobacco in the books)
1011 1100
Does this map (based on Tolkien's notes for his squeal to The Lord of Rings) help clear anything up?
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