Drinking alone...

[Zoid]

So I sit here in front of the computer getting slowly drunk on whisky and feeling sorry for myself. A few days ago one of my best friends told me she was pregnant. I was quite shocked since she wasn´t the type to get children I thought. A very messy life and, like me, a bit lost in the world. She´s gonna keep it, it wasn´t even on the map to get an abortion she said. I´m glad that this might herald a new era of stability in her life, but at the same time I´m terrified that I will be left out so to speak. The thing is I was madly in love with here when we first became friends, a feeling that I thought I had under control. But since she told me I´ve been very anxious and depressed. This will change everything, we were (are!) very close and I feel that this will come between us. I mean it must, mustn´t it? It´s not just me and her anymore. It´s me, her baby and the father (who she might move in with!!!). What the **** am I supposed to do with my life now? We can´t possibly hang out as much as we used to now... Somehow I thought we were always going to be like teenagers hanging out, drinking beer and talking about how much life sucks... If she´s going to play Happy family now I might as well kill myself. Or find me a girl and start a family of my own... But how´s that gonna happen?

I´ve been doing a lof of solitary drinking lately, three times in the last week. Unheard of for me... Somehow drinking dulls the anxeity... Funny that, it usually used to be her that was drunk and I who was in control. Now the tables are turned... Bastards!

I really need to get me some kind of social life, start dating and stuff...

[Dis]

go out to a bar and get smashed

actually I'm never in the mood to drink when I'm depressed. I was depressed a couple weeks ago and went to the bar to get drunk. But I wasn't in the mood and only drank one beer.

better that way. As drinking while depressed isn't a good thing. The best thing is just to play some computer games.

[Zoid]

I´m trying to wrap my head around this scenario I´m trying to create. But it´s tricier than it sounds. And I have very little money right now, and I´m not sure I want to be in a crowded pub anyway. I have a lot of booze in the house and music that I like.

Another thing about this whole ****ing situation is that she asked me not to tell anyone else about this. So I can´t discuss this with my other friends and family. But Poly is OK I guess. Blees the the relative anonymity of teh Internet

[Dauphin]

Are you still coming over to London in the next week or few?

[Dis]

in a few months, it may be obvious that she's pregnant. . Can't be that hard to keep a secret for a few months, can it?

And female friends are interesting indeed. I never had one (except in childhood) until recently. My romantic feelings for her have faded, but not completely. They are tough to deal with sometimes. But for the most part I have accepted her as just a friend. But it's strange, because I act around her a way I would never do with a guy friend. Hugs and all that. I never hug guys. Let alone kiss.

[Zoid]

Dauphin, I really should now, God knows I need the change of scenery. But we got a whopping £700 rent & electricity bill for the boat (another project where I have no idea what I´m doing, like my life...) So I said to Provost that I´ll have to skip that. But now... It might be worth living on noodles and rice in May to do something fun for a while. I start my new job May 2nd so I should get some vacation in before that....

[Skanky Burns]

My fiance has actually lost weight since she became pregnant. I think it has to do with vomitting every single day due to morning sickness, but I could be wrong.

While going to a pub to pick-up is not a guaranteed method of meeting someone, your chances of finding someone while drinking alone are decreased dramatically.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Dis
in a few months, it may be obvious that she's pregnant. . Can't be that hard to keep a secret for a few months, can it?

And female friends are interesting indeed. I never had one (except in childhood) until recently. My romantic feelings for her have faded, but not completely. They are tough to deal with sometimes. But for the most part I have accepted her as just a friend. But it's strange, because I act around her a way I would never do with a guy friend. Hugs and all that. I never hug guys. Let alone kiss.

Heh, I know that one. I don´t have sexual dreams about mu male friends. And I don´t really think you can have friends of the opposite sex without having sexual/romantic feelings for them.

[CrONoS]

For me the only thing working when I'm depressed... it's to make a ride of bicycle, playing raquetball with one of my friend, making any sport..., talking to a friends.

Being alone in a bar, with many people around us is pretty sad.

===
@Zoid:
Two friends of mine get pregnant, one was my ex-gf and the other girl, an old schoolgirl friend. Whatever...

Dont be too depress.... she will need you, she will need your help! Since in your post you seem to say, That the man who make it pregnant seem to dont be here yo support her.

My friends used to call me in the very morning at 6:00am and make 30km of cars just to talk with me, she will need your support zoid(if you want to give him your support).

I think, if you keep in touch with your friend, you will really like this situation. At only one condition; You have to face your emotion about her. Do you love her? Do you actually love her? You have to face it,

see ya,

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Skanky Burns
My fiance has actually lost weight since she became pregnant. I think it has to do with vomitting every single day due to morning sickness, but I could be wrong.

While going to a pub to pick-up is not a guaranteed method of meeting someone, your chances of finding someone while drinking alone are decreased dramatically.

I´ve never picked up anyone in abar. I´m just not that type, I need different surroundings. But you´re right, sitting home alone doesn´t do anyone any good.

[Tiamat]

I think you are much safer if you are at home drinking. You're not behind the wheel of a car, your in your own space and know your limitations within the confines of your own home and great music and of course all of us, what more could you want

[Zoid]

Originally posted by cronos_qc


Dont be too depress.... she will need you, she will need your help! Since in your post you seem to say, That the man she make it pregnant seem to dont be here yo support her.

He´s vey definetly there. He´s actually THE ex-boyfriend of heres that would cope with the situation. This is what´s making me scared of losing a large part of her friendship, she won´t have any time left for me with a baby and her old boyfriend...

I think, if you keep in touch with your friend, you will really like this situation. At only one condition; You have to face your emotion about her. Do you love her? Do you actually love her? You have to face it,

see ya,

I think I love her. She´s basially everything I want in a woman, smart, sexy, similar interests, etc... I thought I was over her, but obviously I´m not... ****! It´s been five years since I realized it wasn´t really going that way...

[Dis]

try not to be selfish about this. Yes you most likely won't have as much time with her (unless you like to hang out with her as she's changing diapers- or breast feeding ). The baby will occupy a lot of time. But you can still be friends with her. But you will indeed need to branch out with your available time, and be with other people.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Tiamat
I think you are much safer if you are at home drinking. You're not behind the wheel of a car, your in your own space and know your limitations within the confines of your own home and great music and of course all of us, what more could you want

The tender embrace of a woman?

[Dis]

Tia will give you a hug accross the internet lines.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Dis
try not to be selfish about this. Yes you most likely won't have as much time with her (unless you like to hang out with her as she's changing diapers- or breast feeding ). The baby will occupy a lot of time. But you can still be friends with her. But you will indeed need to branch out with your available time, and be with other people.

Yeah, iknow. It´s just a big chnge in my life. She´s been such a huge part of my life for the last five years...

[Dis]

But what that really seems to show is you want this woman for yourself. And sooner or later you will have to accept this. I have with my friend. She just bought a house with her boyfriend, this depressed me at first (as this is a serious committment). But I am happy for her. And I am currently looking for another girl to be my girlfriend. I have accepted the fact that L. will not be my girlfriend.

[Dauphin]

Drinking alone is something that I have never done, never intend to do, and can't ever envisage myself doing. It's the way I see alcohol I guess, but to me it's purely a social thing.

Dauphin, I really should now, God knows I need the change of scenery. But we got a whopping £700 rent & electricity bill for the boat (another project where I have no idea what I´m doing, like my life...) So I said to Provost that I´ll have to skip that. But now... It might be worth living on noodles and rice in May to do something fun for a while. I start my new job May 2nd so I should get some vacation in before that....

Well, drinks are on tap and PH has a cheapie place to stay if you do decide to come over.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Dis
But what that really seems to show is you want this woman for yourself. And sooner or later you will have to accept this. I have with my friend. She just bought a house with her boyfriend, this depressed me at first (as this is a serious committment). But I am happy for her. And I am currently looking for another girl to be my girlfriend. I have accepted the fact that L. will not be my girlfriend.

I AM happy for her. But I´m irrationally egoistic as well. I want to have the cake and eat it danmit!

[Dauphin]

Hey it's natural to feel that way. Time helps as realisation and acceptance sets in.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by Dauphin
Drinking alone is something that I have never done, never intend to do, and can't ever envisage myself doing. It's the way I see alcohol I guess, but to me it's purely a social thing.

Dauphin, I really should now, God knows I need the change of scenery. But we got a whopping £700 rent & electricity bill for the boat (another project where I have no idea what I´m doing, like my life...) So I said to Provost that I´ll have to skip that. But now... It might be worth living on noodles and rice in May to do something fun for a while. I start my new job May 2nd so I should get some vacation in before that....

Well, drinks are on tap and PH has a cheapie place to stay if you do decide to come over.

I´ll check my economy and see if i can´t pop over the week after easter

[mitch]

Originally posted by Zoid

And I don´t really think you can have friends of the opposite sex without having sexual/romantic feelings for them.

Well, while I sympathize with you, I feel this statement is totally wrong. I have many female friends (even one who tried to make out with me at a club while we were dancing but I managed to turn away even though I was drunk off my ass, and she is a cutie btw). I do see where your coming from though. I was at a point when I thought the same way as you (yah times were rough in high school). I've gotten to the point though where when I make friends with girls its really hard for me to look at them in a romantic way. But its a totally different story if I don't know the girl that well (and the only time this ever occurs nowadays is in club situations). I will hookup with girls without any holdbacks if I don't know them well at all. But for some reason if its a girl I know really well I just don't feel anything at all. And I'm not just talking about romantic feelings. I'm talking about having hot friends that I have absolutely no urge to hook up with for whatever neurosociopsychological reasons that I can’t explain rationally (attraction can never be explained rationally btw). But my advice to you is to do what I did in high school. Go become sexy.

[mitch]

And obviously I was joking about that last sentence (I just realized some people might take that seriously). The only way your going to overcome this situation is if you find a way to get other girls in your life. And theres websites to help you with that if your having trouble.

[Dinner]

Zoid, you need to find a girl who is available. This one isn't so just look around and find one who is.

[Dinner]

I am curious that if you love her why you didn't tell her. Now she is pregnant and with another man so if it is a little late to come clean.

[Zoid]

Oerdin, I´ve told her many times that I love her. But she doesn´t feel the same way for me. We do have a very strong friendship though, that´s why we can spend so much time together. It´s not like I´ve been secretely waiting for her to start love me all these years.

But you´re right. It´s time to find an available girl. She´s been saying that too for quite some time now

[Zoid]

Originally posted by mitch


Well, while I sympathize with you, I feel this statement is totally wrong.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn´t think that everybody is like me in that aspect.

[TCO]

http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

[MRT144]

you need to go to the gym and get muscular so you can get all the pretty girls

[The Emperor Fabulous]

Go out and get someone pregnant