Understanding Swedes

[Footie Mad]

As an effort to bridge the gaps between us Apolytoners I will here try to give a view of how most swedish users have been influenced, during their impressionable childhood years.

When just learning to read, or perhaps not even old enough for that and getting things read to us. It is almost certain that we will have been introduced to the comic that I give examples of below.

Think of this the next time you wonder why the Social Democrats have governed here almost exclusively the last fifty years.

Bamse is perhaps the most acclaimed childrens comic in the country and has been around since the early seventies. Appreciated by both young and adults, it revolves around the worlds strongest bear who eats special honey to gain his superpowers.

The owner of the megastore talks to his team of research scientists. Translation from top left.

"You know the conditions?"
"Yes Krösus*! (*the owner)
"A hundred crowns if we're finished in a week"
"Or you'll never let us out of here"





Owner talking to workers in the store.

"You're finished in a week right?"
"We're doing our best"
"Best? Worst!"
"You know the conditions?"
"Yes, finished in a week"
"Or we're fired"





The owner welcomes people to the opening of his megastore, the scientists have finished work on the drink that makes people shop more. Krösus is delighted to offer all customers some free drink of course.

"Welcome! Have something to drink. It's on me!"





Clever tortoise Skalman becomes suspicous after Bamse's wife comes home with a brand new spinning wheel that she never intended to buy. Bamse tries to return it to the store but they say no refunds. Instead he buys another spinning wheel in another colour, after accepting the free drink of course.

Skalman pours the drink into his shell and at the same time he gives the unsuspecting owner some of his home made concoction. This will eventually make Krösus have a blackout and accept all refunds as well as lowering prices fifty percent.





Owner after waking up from his blackout.

"Who made this up?"
"It was you!"
"You're fired!"
"It was me"
"You're also fired!"

The yellow box at the bottom right says: "Not easy working for Krösus!"





I'll post more later.

[Footie Mad]

Explanation of taxes. Translation from top left as usual.

"Everybody who make money pay part of it in taxes. It is also a kind of insurance"
"How?"
"With that money schools, hospitals, daycare, pensions for the old, and *barnbidrag are paid for. Things we all need at one time or another." *In Sweden you get an amount of money from the state for each child you have, this sum is the barnbidrag.
"My dad says the pay very little taxes in some other countries"
"Yes, but there only the rich can afford good schools, good health care and such things."
"Paying taxes is a way to help eachother!"

[Snotty]

How delightfully random. Thanks

[Footie Mad]

Maybe i'll explain this more later. This is the last picture in a long adventure.

"Yes, poor people must always fight the rich to have a little justice"



I don't know why only one picture is showing up and the rest are just links. I hope you can see them anyway.

[Henrik]

Bamse!

[VetLegion]

Teaching kids that capitalism is bad

[VetLegion]

It is weird to make the businessman the bad guy. But in American comics good guys and bad guys wear tights. I think the second is worse.

[Pekka]

It's easy to understand Swedes. I mean not really, but you can get the idea of what is inside their heads ...

Ohh! Let's have some crabs! Mm this is good! I like rowing my boat in the archipelago of our vast sea access! LOOK! A red cabin! And a nice flagstaff.. let's go dance around the flagstaff, shall we murmur?

MM.. well these are some LOVELY köttbullar!! I could eat these all day long.. Did the Vikings eat köttbullar? I bet they ate they ate them from peoples skulls they slaughtered hah-hah-haa! No juu!

We have so much culture and history. Unlike those drunken knife carrying Finns! Ohh how I wish we hade more Saku Koivus and Kipper like people in here, instead of those drug addicted, thieving, violent, stupid ones who emigrated in the 70s to look for jobs, because they were skit!

We only import the smart ones and the ones who don't like Abba but Beethoven. Ahh life is good. Hey! Who stopped playing the violin and accordion? We were just about to dance some more! And eat köttbullar!

Volvo or Saab? Now there's a problem!!! Which one would I buy with my kronor.. HMMM! I better call Harald och... han vill berätta.... juu!

----

Sweden 101.

[Footie Mad]

It's a bit funny since I live in Scania, the province farthest south within Sweden I don't have much contact with finns and wasn't really aware of those finnish bad stereotypes that swedes supposedly have. I've never even been to Finland. Denmark and danes on the other hand...

[Pekka]

Of course I'm only joking though I'm serious . Swedes are good folks. You can trust them. They have the same business culture, which is good, and they are easily approachable and nice. They are sometimes weird, but you have to know them so you understand.

They are going through rough times now, so you have to undetsand our Swedes are little down and depressed.. their King has been reported to have .. young lovers. So it's a mess in the royal family now.

[Pekka]

FOotie Mad, what do you mean bad stereotypes? It's true ..

so.. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do.Just don't send them back here.

[Snotty]

Scania, like the trucks?

[Starchild]

I'm dating a Swede. I've come to accept you're an odd people.

I should learn some Swedish so we can be unsufferably couply without everyone else knowing it.

[Pekka]

I speak Swedish. Maybe I should date her instead you?

[Starchild]

I doubt he would like that very much.

[Pekka]

Swedish gay? That's a surprise.

[Starchild]

Technically he's a half swedish, half finnish. But finnish gays are hardly surprising either

[Pekka]

so,, are you the butch or the *****? I bet you're the *****, aren't you?

[Footie Mad]

Stop threadjacking.

[Starchild]

Originally posted by Pekka
so,, are you the butch or the *****? I bet you're the *****, aren't you?

It all depends who manages to get the handcuffs on the other one fastest.

[Wernazuma III]

Bamse.

[Combat Ingrid]

There is a significant difference between people from Norrland (northern Sweden) and those from the south. Us northerners tend to be more quiet and reserved, and also less stressed out than the southerners. Furthermore, in small backwards hick towns in Norrland, macho guys like Pekka would fit perfectly with the local culture
Or to quote a guy from Stockholm who spent a couple of years in Finland: "The whole f*cking place was just like Norrland!!!"

[VetLegion]

Pekka pwned by Starchild

[Pekka]

CI, what can I say to that. Your guy is a racist and negativist pessimist. I wouldn't trust his word. He would prolly love Baghdad now or something. And we hate the ones in north too, so don't generalize. Go eat more köttbullar why don't you

OH and I'm definitely NOT a macho. A cookie for you.

[Cort Haus]

So why is Sven Goran Ericsson such a hopeless manager?

[Henrik]

Psst, Pekka I think you spelt Prudentia wrong... (in your signature)

This helpfull message was brought to you buy your local Swedish (and infact Scanian as that has been brought up earlier in the thread) student of Latin.

[Pekka]

This is a nasty case of Swedish trick.. I can see through your weak attempts! NOT WORKING!

[Henrik]

Pekka prudentissimus... (as you can see I'm presuming you're masculine despite your name declining like a feminine noun here)

[Pekka]

I will only accept your .. version if you can tell me how it translates, so I know you actually know what you're talking about.

[Henrik]

Sorry that last thing was me commenting on your "wiseness" in latin rather than a correction.
Your signature should say:

An nescis, mi fili, quantilla prudentia mundus regatur.
Do you not know my son, with how little the world is ruled by wisdom.

Or somesuch.

Just a missing D nothing more nothing less