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  1. #1
    Lancer's Avatar
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    I have to write a 100 word essay on why I want to be a security 'officer'.

    Ok, the first word.

    Hmm.
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  2. #2
    Lancer's Avatar
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    I want to be a security officer because

    That's 8. 92 to go.
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  3. #3
    Lancer's Avatar
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    I admire the seriousness of the job and will appreciate the structured management of the work day.

    that's 25. Do periods count ya think?
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  4. #4
    Zkribbler's Avatar
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    because I am a great believer in law and order. This job would be an extension of my service during the cold war where I stared down the entire Ruskie Army in the Fulda Gap.

  5. #5
    Lancer's Avatar
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    Excellent! 59!
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  6. #6
    DRoseDARs's Avatar
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    "And in a pinch, if I lack a sufficient level manlyness to take on a group of punks by myself, I personally know Super Citizen. He would be more than happy to help me put the hurt on them."
    The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

    The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

  7. #7
    DRoseDARs's Avatar
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    " 'Who is Super Citizen?' you ask. Let me tell you..."
    The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

    The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

  8. #8
    Lancer's Avatar
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    We're over a hundred.

    One thing though, I WANT the job.
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  9. #9
    General Ludd's Avatar
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    What's the 32nd word?
    Rethink Refuse Reduce Reuse

    Do It Ourselves

  10. #10
    Lancer's Avatar
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    Huh?
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  11. #11
    General Ludd's Avatar
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    Just curious.
    Rethink Refuse Reduce Reuse

    Do It Ourselves

  12. #12
    Lancer's Avatar
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    Math challenged?
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  13. #13
    Zkribbler's Avatar
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    If you need a postscript, you can throw in that, in your current position, they make you wear women's blouses...and that they clash with your masculine blue tutu.

  14. #14
    Lancer's Avatar
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  15. #15
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    How's this:

    When I was just a child, my father – the finest man I have ever known – sat me down and told me, “Son, there are many fine words and phrases in the English language. ‘Freedom.’ ‘Pursuit of Happiness.’ ‘Supersize Me.’ But there is none so proud, so powerful, as that noblest of all phrases, that phrase that makes the heart soar and a tear come to the eye of any man not made of stone: ‘Rent-a-Cop.’ Remember that, boy, and make me proud.” So, please allow me to join your organization, fulfill my destiny, and bring honor to my father’s name.
    100 words, exactly. You're welcome.
    "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

  16. #16
    Lancer's Avatar
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    Thing of beauty Rufus. :sniff:
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  17. #17
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  18. #18
    Boris Godunov's Avatar
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    I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, want to be a security guard very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much.
    Tutto nel mondo è burla

  19. #19
    boann's Avatar
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    and i promise i won't look the apolyton forum while im watching the monitors.
    "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." -Katherine Hepburn

  20. #20
    Ben Kenobi's Avatar
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    That reminds me of my application to starbucks.

    "Why do you like to work with coffee?"
    Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith and Solomwi you will be missed
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  21. #21
    Lancer's Avatar
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    A long long time ago in a city far, far away, my father turned to the dark side. When I asked a friend and mentor what I should do about the situation, he said 'learn the ways of the force you must'. All these years I've dwelled upon the meaning of 'the force'. Until now. Now I realize that my destiny lies amongst the security force of this casino, and I need you to help me fulfill my destiny by making me part of the force. Since Dad's dead that ****'s history anyway, and I could really use the extra dough and excellent insurance benefits.
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  22. #22
    Pekka's Avatar
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    BK,
    In da butt.
    "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
    THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
    "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

  23. #23
    DaShi's Avatar
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    Security, what does that mean really? Webster's dictionary defines it as. . .
    “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
    "Capitalism ho!"

  24. #24
    Traianvs's Avatar
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    you mean you want to be a guard?

    one of these goons with evil grins on their faces constantly scanning people for possible terrorist threats?
    "An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
    "Non mortem timemus, sed cogitationem mortis." - Seneca

  25. #25
    Proteus_MST's Avatar
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    According to Word that´s also 100 words exactly

    To be a security guard has been my dream since my earliest childhood.
    I always wanted to wear these nice uniforms and I always wanted to wear these nice sticks and learn how to effective use them to beat up people.
    It was also always my dream to write a onehundred words essay on the Topic: “Why do you want to be a security officer?”, so that I would be able to tell you of my childhoods dreams.
    So, for all these above mentioned reasons I want to become a security officer and want to get hired by your company.
    If anyone shall despise those who out of faith make love-feasts and invite the brethren in honour of the Lord, and is not willing to accept these invitations because he despises what is done, let him be anathema.
    Canon 11, Council of Gangra (340 AD)

  26. #26
    curtsibling's Avatar
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    Mention that you look great in a peaked cap, and the job is in the bag!


  27. #27

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    "I wanna crack some skulls. When do I get my gun?"

    Less than 100 words, but it accurately conveys the message.
    "The French caused the war [Persian Gulf war, 1991]" - Ned
    "you people who bash Bush have no appreciation for one of the great presidents in our history." - Ned
    "I wish I had gay sex in the boy scouts" - Dissident

  28. #28
    Provost Harrison's Avatar
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    "Ever since I was a child I wanted a job I enjoyed, where I will feel fulfilled and utilised and where I feel I will be putting back what I take out and bringing joy to the lives of many. But alas, I f**ked up at school so I'll settle for being a security guard instead"
    Speaking of Erith:

    "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

  29. #29
    Bereta_Eder's Avatar
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    There aint no terrorist
    I cant bust
    and if you think about it
    it's a must
    that you take me to fill these shoes
    if you dont want darkies giving you blues
    so choose lancer
    and be ware
    that if the terrorists dont care
    here's a man of moral fiber
    who's up to the task of playing the piper
    and leed these rats to their doom
    so choose lancer or be gloomed!


  30. #30
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    Dear freedom,

    Bush, Bush, freedom, Bush, freedom, terrorism, Bush, terrorism, freedom, American values, Bush, freedom, terrorism, American dream, Bush, freedom.

    PS: freedom, terrorism, Bush, God bless America, freedom

    Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing?
    Then why call him God? - Epicurus

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