I need thoughts or help about inheritence

[Tiamat]

As many of you know my father recently passed away. I have inherited money, and things. So who's money is it anyway. I inherited it but who's is it? Is it mine or should as my family thinks spend it on things for them? Initially I was told it's your money he left it to you so you spend it the way you want. Lately alot of ideas are coming my way about what I should spend it on. I finally told my husband that they way I feel about it is this..... This is money that my father left to me for me to decide to spend the way I want because I was his daughter. When I found out how much I inherited I immedidetly made a decision to buy a china cabinet due to some things that I got and to put the rest of the money in a money market account or IRA or something that would make me money until I can decide what exactly to do with it. My father also wanted me to go to school so I thought I might use it for that.

My bottom line is that I feel like these are my things that were left to me and I feel that I should have the right to decide what to do with it insted of being guilted into what other people want for that money. It's becoming a large bone of contention for me now. Am I being selfish?

[BlackCat]

No.

If your father wanted the money spend in other ways than you want, he would have given advice on how in his will.

[Tiamat]

Husband has made several comments regarding liquidating some of my assests now that I have them, and I don't agree. These are family heirlooms and even though they are material and physical things, they do mean quite alot to me and frankly I really don't want to liquidate anything.

[BlackCat]

Ouch. It sounds that you have more than heritage troubles.

Go for what you feel is right - if you don't you will probably regret it later.

[Spiffor]

First thing to know is if you'll have to pay inheritance taxes and various fees. A chunk of the inheritance should be kept just for that.

More generally, if this money was clearly intended for you in your father's will, and if your father didn't ask you in a specific fashion, you should use the money according to your wisdom You shouldn't sell the heirlooms you cherish the most ; for the heirlooms you could agree to sell, try to sell them to other family members first, so that they don't disappear without trace.

And yes, if your family doesn't have pressing money problems, you shouldn't listen to your hubby too much about it. This inheritance is yours. If you wish to use it on your family, more power to you. And if you wish to use it on personal projects, more power to you as well

[Whoha]

Re: I need thoughts or help about inheritence

Originally posted by Tiamat
As many of you know my father recently passed away. I have inherited money, and things. So who's money is it anyway. I inherited it but who's is it? Is it mine or should as my family thinks spend it on things for them? Initially I was told it's your money he left it to you so you spend it the way you want. Lately alot of ideas are coming my way about what I should spend it on. I finally told my husband that they way I feel about it is this..... This is money that my father left to me for me to decide to spend the way I want because I was his daughter. When I found out how much I inherited I immedidetly made a decision to buy a china cabinet due to some things that I got and to put the rest of the money in a money market account or IRA or something that would make me money until I can decide what exactly to do with it. My father also wanted me to go to school so I thought I might use it for that.

My bottom line is that I feel like these are my things that were left to me and I feel that I should have the right to decide what to do with it insted of being guilted into what other people want for that money. It's becoming a large bone of contention for me now. Am I being selfish?

Who is the executor of his estate? That person decides I believe.

[BlackCat]

Spiff, Whoha you haven't read what Tia writes. Money and property are Tia's and her trouble is how she should spend the heritage. Relatives think they should get some and husband has his ideas what she should do.

[Spiffor]

I don't understand quite clearly if she has inherited all the money, or only part of it (over here, the law bars you from disowing heirs, so my assumption -that every legitimate her got something- may be wrong).

[Kidlicious]

You might not want to spend all of it in case someone in the family needs help in the future. Other than that it's up to you whether you want to share it. Most people don't and wouldn't I think, but some people might. And don't go to school just because your dad wanted you to.

[Capt Dizle]

Tia, the difference between trailer park trash and the country club set is what their immediate ancestors did with estate monies. The trailer parkers spent it; the clubbers invested it.

The only wise course for you is to invest ALL (thats every penny) of it and set up a trust for your children's grandchildren. Tell the hubby to sod off and start preparing your kids to make some sacrifices for later generations as well.

Tia the 4th will be rich and wise enough to stay that way.

For every dollars you make with your own labor, you should have a matching dollar earned by your investment capital. Until you do, you will never be a real American.

[Boris Godunov]

Re: I need thoughts or help about inheritence

Originally posted by Tiamat
My bottom line is that I feel like these are my things that were left to me and I feel that I should have the right to decide what to do with it insted of being guilted into what other people want for that money.

100% correct. If he left the money and items to you, they are legally yours to do with as you see fit. Tell anyone who is trying to "guilt" you into anything to **** off, it's not theirs. If your father had wanted them to have it, he would have left it to them.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Capt Dizle
Tia, the difference between trailer park trash and the country club set is what their immediate ancestors did with estate monies. The trailer parkers spent it; the clubbers invested it.

I think it's more likely that the "trailer park trash" never got inheritence. Not that I want to get off topic at all, but your post is offensive.

[Tiamat]

Thanks guys. I'm an only child so I'm the only heir besides his wife but she's been great and giving me anything of my father's that I've wanted. My mom passed away 25 years ago and I received much of her things that she loved to shop for antique wise. She loved to antique shop so these things I treasure. His will was made at least 10 years ago when I was single and he provided well for my kids. So I just feel like I should be the one to make the desion on my money as well as my stepmom agreed with me about the china cabinet and socking it away for a awhile.

[Capt Dizle]

Originally posted by Kidicious


I think it's more likely that the "trailer park trash" never got inheritence. Not that I want to get off topic at all, but your post is offensive.

Not offensive unless you've a chip on your shoulder or a wedge up your butt.

[General Ludd]

You should share what your family, that's what family is for. But only to a point - don't let them take advantage of you or your father's estate. (That can also be what family is for - I guess it depends on the family)