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King
of Meridian Hill, Washington D.C.
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Jul 1999
time: 09:25
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Hah. Sounds like bullshite to me.
How long have you been seeing her?
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King
Yggdrasil.
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Nov 1999
time: 09:25
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...
obviously, she's cheating on you.
...
i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in my experience that's the answer. especially with the "our relationship is close enough we don't need to" horsepoop.
however, in the event i'm wrong, ask her if there's anything that you could do to get her in the mood.
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King
Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
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Jan 2000
time: 07:25
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quote:
Originally posted by MRT144
whats the longest youve gone without making love? and this means from one time to another. right now its been almost 4 weeks and its so frustrating and i just dont know what to do. we have talked about it and she says she just isnt in the mood, and that our relationship doesnt need it so much because we are so close.
what can i do? |
I've probably gone longer while in an LTR, but not much longer. Typically, a lack of sex in a relationship points to other problems in the relationship. It might for instance just be her, but the odds are that it involves you to some degree. It could be a million things, and she may not even be aware of exactly what it is herself. Your mission is to figure out what the deal is while simultaneously keeping a good "can-do" attitude about the relationship and not pi$$ing your gf off.
Fortunately once the issue is brought up and even rudimentarily discussed you should be back in the sack with her. Unless "the problem" is directly related to her desire for you or some other fundamental question, you don't have to solve it immediately. Simply identifying it and re-committing to the relationship and to working on it are usually enough to clear the decks for action. Good luck.
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
We are all Asher now.
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Jul 2002
time: 14:25
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Perhaps she's enlightened?
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King
of Meridian Hill, Washington D.C.
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Jul 1999
time: 09:25
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Has she ever had sex? Had a really bad experience in the past?
The girl I'm dating right now had dated a huge ******* for over a year before we met. She took a bit to open up to the idea of sex.
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King
of Meridian Hill, Washington D.C.
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Jul 1999
time: 09:25
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Excuse me for failing to remember the previous lovemaking...I've been traveling today.
Stress certainly adds to the "not in the mood" factor.
Let me try this one: How long was the gap between first seeing you and sex? Was there a lot at the beginning of the realtionship? Do you think she kept up a better tempo at the beginning to make sure you were "snagged"?
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King
Yggdrasil.
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Nov 1999
time: 09:25
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four months does not a long term relationship make.
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King
Yggdrasil.
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Nov 1999
time: 09:25
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good. stress can be a killer. give her a massage. make up something romantic. girls like that sort of thing.
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Deity
The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
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May 1999
time: 22:25
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Women generally have sex on a much lower priority than men. You said you haven't had sex in 4 weeks, how does that affect you as a whole? Are you in the relation for sex or for your SO?
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Emperor
Howling at the moon
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Aug 2000
time: 14:25
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quote:
Originally posted by MRT144
whats the longest youve gone without making love? |
6 weeks- after the birth of our kid.
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Warlord
USA
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Jul 2002
time: 07:25
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Ten weeks, because I have to go to a grad school in a different city.
My wife didn't want to have sex with me before marriage, and we had lived together for six months before marrying.
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Prince
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May 1999
time: 14:25
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4 weeks is a long time in the context of a 4-month relationship, but not if you've been married awhile. I don't remember exactly when my last time was, but I think it was over a year ago. I know I'm 0 for 2003.
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quote:
I've probably gone longer while in an LTR, but not much longer. Typically, a lack of sex in a relationship points to other problems in the relationship. It might for instance just be her, but the odds are that it involves you to some degree. It could be a million things, and she may not even be aware of exactly what it is herself. Your mission is to figure out what the deal is while simultaneously keeping a good "can-do" attitude about the relationship and not pi$$ing your gf off. |
I concur. This points to another problem, IMO. This is definetly not normal behavior. If she 'isn't in the mood' there is something that happened.
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Emperor
Up in the Ayers
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Oct 2002
time: 06:25
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Well, I haven't slept with mine, by mutual consent. We've been dating for close to 8 months.
quote:
and that our relationship doesnt need it so much because we are so close.
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This section worries me. You said that you have enjoyed sleeping with her before so something has changed.
Stress may be a problem, I know it would be between my girlfriend and I, if we were at that point in our relationship, annd we were both as busy as we have been.
The suggestion of massages, etc. are good. Keep her mind off of school.
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King
är i Sverige
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Dec 2002
time: 14:25
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When you were having sex, how long did your foreplay last? Do you have non-penetrative sexual contact now? What I mean is do you fool around, or can you bring her to orgasm just by masturbating her, or oral. Thats certain to de-stress her if thats the problem. You may have to do it this way for a little while.
If shes complaining about being sore after sex then you need to take that into account when you do get it again. Some lube works wonders, and try not to thrust as fast/hard. I guess she has not had a lot of sex before? If shes badly sore afterwards then its going to put her off doing it again, so you should try what you can to help.
A previous gf of mine found sex painful and we had to go through all sorts of stuff with the gyno to sort it out, all that time without sex. Everyone else says that you should be cool and liberal with it, but I know how tough it can get, and how much it can mess with your head. Its possible shes got a deeper problem and youve got to try to keep it together to help her get through this.
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King
the contradiction is filled with holes...
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Aug 2001
time: 16:25
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I've been with my girl for 4 years in the new years eve.
The longest time without sex might be between 4 to 6 weeks - mainly because she's studying in another city, 160 km from my home. And that's partially because she had her period when we saw each other in the middle. I don't find it awkward to have sex while period, but she does... I don't know if that's normal (on either point of wiev).
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Emperor
of poor english grammar
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Jan 2002
time: 14:25
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Imo, 3 options
1 - She's a lesbian
2 - You suck in bed but stays with you cuz she loves you (women dont want any if they dont com)
3- She doesn't love you anymore.
I would bet 100$ that it's one of those reasons.
And for these things, I am usually right.
It's a gift.
Spec.
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of one's life